[They keep talking. They keep talking so softly, so gently, like he's a victim, like he's some helpless little thing that needs rescuing, like he's weak. Like he doesn't already know he's weak. Like he hasn't heard that his whole life. Like he hasn't heard that hushed sort of tone his whole damn life.]
[And maybe there's a kernel of truth in what they're saying, because all this loneliness doesn't come from nowhere. Not all of it, at least. But that's neither here nor there. He's been pushing people away, and that's that. He can't even think about blame or fault right now, beyond the fact that he made his bed and is now lying in it.]
[He just can't do this right now. He can't do this when he's still on this side of the glass, when he's still hearing all the sounds from the lab ringing in his skull. The more they talk, the more trapped he feels. The more hollow dread opens up inside him.]
stop.
[He tries to sound firm, but he wouldn't be surprised if they hear pleading. Is that all he is to them? Something to be helped?]
don't know what you're doing, but stop it. 'm not worse off. 'm not a victim. s' not anything like what you're...
[He pauses to breathe. It's so damn hard to breathe.]
...sayin'. y'either...don't know what all's been happenin', or...you're tryin' t'convince me of somethin'. jus' stop, okay? 'm too tired for this.
no subject
[And maybe there's a kernel of truth in what they're saying, because all this loneliness doesn't come from nowhere. Not all of it, at least. But that's neither here nor there. He's been pushing people away, and that's that. He can't even think about blame or fault right now, beyond the fact that he made his bed and is now lying in it.]
[He just can't do this right now. He can't do this when he's still on this side of the glass, when he's still hearing all the sounds from the lab ringing in his skull. The more they talk, the more trapped he feels. The more hollow dread opens up inside him.]
stop.
[He tries to sound firm, but he wouldn't be surprised if they hear pleading. Is that all he is to them? Something to be helped?]
don't know what you're doing, but stop it. 'm not worse off. 'm not a victim. s' not anything like what you're...
[He pauses to breathe. It's so damn hard to breathe.]
...sayin'. y'either...don't know what all's been happenin', or...you're tryin' t'convince me of somethin'. jus' stop, okay? 'm too tired for this.