entrancelogs | she's got lions in her heart [ open ]

[ Chloe looks away, unable to meet Elena's eyes for the shame she feels may be etched across her face. It isn't right, not any of it; she shouldn't even be here. She should be home with her daughter, in her normal world... Or at least the world she thought was normal. She shouldn't know that her friends are angels and demons, that her partner is the devil. There was a time, in Wonderland, that she had been angry at Lucifer for hiding all of those truths so conveniently from her, for treating her like a child that needed to be protected from the realities of his complicated life.

Now, she misses that ignorance. She misses not knowing what the monsters that hid in the darkness actually looked like. ]

God, Elena... [ She reaches out, putting her hands gently on Elena's shoulders. ] You shouldn't worry about me. If anything, I'm the one who's supposed to worry. And I know, I know you're an adult and you have been through so much more than I could even dream about but... [ She glances across the room, her gaze landing on one of the pictures of Trixie. ] I want to be there for you. And I've really, really sucked at it lately. I guess I'm worried about me, too.

( elena takes one of those hands that settle upon her shoulders. she takes it into her own. )

You do worry about me. You take care of me all the time. Chloe, you were the one who fought hardest alongside Damon to get me back when Freya took me, and we'd just met. There's nothing wrong with my returning the favor when I can. I want to. ( relationships are a two-way street. even parents need taking care of sometimes, too. she really doesn't think there is anything wrong with that.

her gaze follows chloe's, and it's only then elena takes notice of a very, very cute girl. she can hazard a guess. )

Is that ... ?

[ Chloe manages a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She still feels like the cards have been stacked in her favor; her problems with Seth, with Lucifer, her dying, being away from Trixie. She has fixated on Elena as a place to put that parental love that didn't have anywhere to belong anymore. It wasn't as if Elena replaced Trixie, but she did give those feelings a place to go.

She also gave the guilt a place to go, too. Chloe had tried to save Elena, and she had failed. ]

Trixie. Yeah, that's her. [ She shudders a breath. ] I got pictures of her from the closets, but they aren't right. I guess because it's how I remember her and not really exactly how she looks. Once I figured out I could do it I wanted to, though. [ She nods. ] I was worried I'd forget what she looks like.

( she breathes out a little in relief.

as much as she'd have understood the pictures coming from the vendors, she wouldn't want the to take anything from chloe, least of all a memory from the little girl she's missing so much. ) I'm sure you remember her perfectly. The closets just never give you anything from home.

( they want them to go to the vendors, it seems. )

So they gave you the next closest thing. She's beautiful. ( there's a slight pause, and then Elena asks almost tentatively: ) Tell me about her?

[ It would be a lie to say she hadn't considered it.

Chloe knew it was an option, and the desire to get something from home was strong. But when it came down to it, Chloe's memories were too important to her. She knew the time would come that she would lose something, and it was tempting, at least, to do it on her own terms. But Chloe also wasn't ready to let this place win, even if it meant never having Trixie exactly the way she was at home, even if it meant letting those memories fade all on their own rather than be stolen.

Of course, Wonderland had at least given her Trixie for a little bit. The hour she spent in the memory with her daughter and Lucifer was still clear in her mind, haunting as much as it was cherished. ]

Yeah. She looks like her dad. [ Chloe smiles. ] You would love her, Elena. She's so smart, and funny, and... So manipulative. I mean, gives Lucifer a run for his money manipulative. I think, especially after the divorce, she tried to be the grown up, you know? Dan and I didn't always make it easy.

( elena places a hand on chloe's shoulder, and mirrors chloe's smile with the softness of her own. )

I already do.

( despite not having met her face-to-face, she already loves trixie. )

Because she sounds amazing, and she's a big part of you. And I'm sorry you have to be away from her. I know how much you miss her. ( finding ways to get through the day-to-day of wonderland don't change the fact this place is keeping chloe away from her daughter, and elena would never want to invalidate that. she understands, as best she can, why this has been such an uphill climb for the detective. )

[ Whatever Elena says about Trixie always makes her feel better. Chloe knows sometimes she needs validation; sometimes, she needs to be reminded that the choices she's made here doesn't make her a terrible mother.

She doesn't always factor Trixie in, not the way she used to. What happens here doesn't matter in the same way it mattered at home.

Chloe can't hold back her tears much longer and she moves forward, wrapping her arms around Elena. Chloe isn't always the best with physical displays of affection; a touch of a hand here and awkward reassurance there, but Chloe is used to keeping people at arms length. That's changed here, though; being with Seth, seeking a closeness with Lucifer she's tried to avoid. Most importantly, now, is her love for Elena, and the comfort her presence brings.

Her timid hug tightens, Chloe tucking her chin into Elena's shoulder and presses her eyes shut. She lets out a small sob, breathing in the younger woman's comforting scent the same way she used to breathe in Trixie when they snuggled during storytime. She misses it every day. ]

Thank you, Elena.

( elena, on the other hand, is a tactile creature. so much of her raw and private thoughts are kept to herself, if not contained in the pages of her journal. she doesn't always know how to express them out loud, or if she should, and in turn, communicates a lot through touch. while it is easy and true to say that she loves chloe, sometimes it's better to hold her with it: with that love and support and boundless loyalty.

she wraps her arms around her, wishing she could soak up the grief and the hurt through that alone. she won't pull back until chloe does, her smile soft and understanding, tinged with a sadness when she gives it. ) You don't have to thank me. It's what best friends do.

( taking chloe's hand, she gives it a squeeze. )

And if you really don't want to go out, we don't have to. We can stay in and eat pizza and watch ridiculous movies.

( just so long as she knows she isn't alone with any of it. )

[ It takes Chloe a minute to pull away, but when she does, she nods her head and straightens her shoulders, avoiding Elena's gaze. She does return the squeeze of the hand, though, finally mustering a bit of a smile. ]

No, really. Let's get out of here. I think getting out will help. [ She nods curtly, trying to convince herself more than Elena. Maybe she does need this; none of her problems will be solved hiding away in her room, ignoring everything beyond the door.

If she has Elena with her, she can handle it. ]

Besides, I already promised that you could dress me.

( elena's smile holds in spite of her concern. )

I think it will, too. And I can call Caroline and Freya and tell them to meet us there for a girl's night?

( she thinks they're all due for one.

the reminder elena has control over chloe's wardrobe for the night has her flashing the detective a grin and scurrying over to the closet. it's about five minutes later that elena emerges, lifting an elegant black jumpsuit for chloe to appraise. ) What about this?

[Just then, there's a knock at the door, followed by a perky voice on the other side.]

Room service!

[ Chloe stares at the jumpsuit, her mouth barely opening when she hears Caroline outside the door. She pauses to call her in, frowning for a second before she heads to the door. ]

I'm not sure I've actually ever invited her in here, [ she explains to Elena. The first time Caroline had come to her door, Chloe hadn't exactly been accommodating, considering.

She pulls the door open, hoping Caroline doesn't judge her for how she looks or how messy the room is, and extends her hand. ]

Come join the party. I think Elena was about to talk me into wearing something I don't think I have the guts to wear.

( elena gives a small laugh, turning to caroline in greeting and lifting the black jumpsuit in her direction. )

But she'd look amazing, wouldn't she?

( lucifer would not know what to do with himself if he saw her. )

Um, yes! Not to mention gorgeous.

[She moves into the room, holding a wine bottle in each hand, and sets them down on the nearest flat surface. She doesn't seem to notice if the place is messy; it's getting ready time, so she fully expects clothes to be strewn everywhere.]

You have to wear it. No ifs, ands or buts.

You guys do know I'm in my thirties, right? Is that even age appropriate?

[ It totally is but that doesn't mean Miss Oversized Sweaters thinks she can pull it off. She goes straight for the wine, though, opening and bottle and pouring three glasses because they need to start drinking immediately. ]

Though... I guess I could give it a shot.

Why wouldn't it be? Being in your thirties doesn't mean you can't be sexy, Chloe.

( elena dangles the outfit up in offer so as to tempt her with it, an irrepressible grin on her face.

caroline's demeanor is infectious that way. )

Well, that settles it. If you try it on and hate it, then maybe we'll reconsider.

[She wants her to be confident, after all. They could figure out something.]

[ Chloe takes the outfit from Elena, leaving the two young women to their wine as she slips into the bathroom to change. Once she looks in the mirror, she decides Elena has made a good call. She really does look pretty good.

She comes back out, holding out her arms before she turns around to show them. ]

Well...?

( the extent of elena's initial reaction is to squeal like she's a baby seal, her hands giving a little clap. )

You. Look. Amazing.

Like literally flawless. [She crosses her arms over her chest smugly, as if she had anything to do with this.] We're obviously geniuses. Now you just need shoes!

[And off she goes to the closet to find some.]

What size are you?

[ Chloe smirks at both of their responses, although she still can't help feeling a little self-conscious. ]

Uh, eight. [ She casts a look at Elena, hoping that Caroline doesn't pull out a pair of stilettos. ]

she's got lions in her heart [ open ]

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