open } I'll forever be whatever you want me to be

[endingpoint]

Who: Jane Weller + You
Where: Gardens
When: Weekend of July 6th
Rating: PG
Summary: Jane found out some news at home and now she's obsessed.
The Story:

[ Now that the library has robots, it's not a place Jane super wants to be, so she uses the closet to get a few books and then heads outside. It's hot, but she's never super minded the heat and she's wearing shorts now with a white t-shirt, sitting under a tree for at least shade. Spread out around her are different books on pregnancy, from the traditional What to Except When You're Expecting to a week to week book one what to expect moment by moment. She even has What to Expect Before You're Excepting since she's not currently pregnant in Wonderland.

Jane even has a highlighter out, going through books as she reads them and highlighting certain parts. She's definitely botherable, in a good mood and just reading happily. ]

Comments

[geekorthodox]

But maybe if you study really hard you'll do what literally no one has ever done before and...remember everything when you go back home?

[ Right. Sure. ]

You know you're gonna be a natural at this, right? I wanted to say that because I get the feeling you have this silly idea in your head that you won't be super great?

[endingpoint]

Well. Didn't have the world's best mother to go by.

[ She lets out a soft breath, looking down a little so that her hair hides her face for a second. But then she looks back up at Patterson. ]

Neither one of us had uh...parents that really panned out.

[geekorthodox]

[ It must be scary. She gets it. But she reaches out to cover her friend's hand for a moment. ]

You knew me maybe...two months, if that, when David died? And I just couldn't break down in front of anyone else. But with you, I could let go. I don't know why. I don't know how I knew, but you were...safe. And you probably doubted yourself then, too, but you still knew what to do. You know why? Because you think with your heart first.

[endingpoint]

Even though you didn't know yet if you could really trust me?

[ Those first few months were shaky, honestly. She wasn't sure of herself at all, let alone sure of how everyone else saw her. Especially Tasha and Reade. ]

Other than Kurt, you were the only person who believed in me.

[geekorthodox]

Unless you're a really, really good manipulator and total psychopath - which, for the record, I don't think you are at all - no one holds someone like that while they cry and still wants to kill them. So yeah, I kind of knew by then I could trust you.

There's plenty of things someone could fake, and I know from experience. [ Borden will always be a painful memory for her. ] But not you. You were the real deal.

[endingpoint]

[ Jane smiles softly; she didn't even realize she needed the reassurance but now that she has it, it's good. ]

At least we've both had practice with Bethany. Although, it's been a while. Still, we had our fair share of overnights, even though I know that isn't the same.

[geekorthodox]

Maybe not completely the same, but pretty close, right? You still had diaper duty, feeding duty, tantrum duty. The whole bedtime thing is kind of a nightmare, I hear? So if you've seen all of that, you're ahead of the game. It's like going in to take the SAT and knowing all the questions ahead of time.

[endingpoint]

Point well taken.

[ Jane smiles at that, then stretches her legs out, looking at Patterson. ]

I told Kurt I...think we should move back to Colorado. I know it'll be hard to leave, again. But Bethany's still there and now he's gonna have a brother or sister. They deserve to be close, the way Sarah and Kurt are.

[geekorthodox]

[ She's actually a little surprised by that. Not on Kurt's end, that guy is such a dopey romantic who wants to have the perfect home life. But Jane - she seems too restless for that. ]

You think you could really be happy there? Like, in all honesty. This is a circle of trust.

[endingpoint]

Honestly?

[ Jane takes a deep breath and lets it out, just thinking over her words before she says them. ]

I don't think I let myself believe at first, that it could all last, and then when it didn't I thought I'd proven something to myself. But...lesson learned. Patterson, I needed to learn more about myself and explore who I was outside of Kurt, but as soon as I saw him again, it was just...I dunno. Like a piece of something slid back into place.

[geekorthodox]

That makes sense. Love is scary for anyone, but especially you two.

[ Love is just super scary, period. ]

So now you guys are together, you're pretty solid, and you can see yourself really settling down with a husband, a baby, and that small town life in Colorado?

[endingpoint]

Are you trying to talk me out of it or encourage me?

[ She asks that with an amused smile. ]

But maybe, if she'll come with us, Avery too? I don't know what she's like yet and maybe she has her own life, but you said she lives with us, so maybe all of us, together. If I can have that, I don't want to give up on it again.

[geekorthodox]

[ Quickly and urgently, as her eyes widen a little: ]

No! No, no, no. You should totally go. I mean, I want you to be where you're happy. The part of me that still a little bit believes in love wants you guys to make it, like one of us has to. I mean two of us have to. One couple. [ Pause. ] You get it.

And Avery - I think she would? She thinks you guys are cool old nerds. [ Patterson teases with a smirk. ]

[endingpoint]

I do get it.

[ She smiles and reaches out to squeeze her hand. She wishes Patterson didn't feel so broken, but she understands why. Sometimes she wonders if she ever broke Kurt that way too, but now's not the time for a question like that. ]

There's so much to think about now, and the kicker is I won't even remember when I leave here. But it's too good not to think about.