this is weird but would I change it? } OTA

[beautifullies]

Who: Claire & Jamie Fraser, Bree Randall, you???
Where: Claire's room, the clinic
When: Dec. 15-18
Rating: PG at most probably?
Summary: A very Lallybroch and North Carolina Yultide
The Story:

Fraser Residence

[ The entire week has been overwhelming, to say the absolute least about it. There's another version of herself floating around and Claire's contemplated saying something network wide but it doesn't feel right to do. But the sleepless nights, knowing exactly what's going through her younger self's mind, knowing how much is to come for her is...well. It's keeping her up at night.

That's why, late, she's strolling with Jamie around the grounds, just to clear their minds, hope for peaceful sleep. When they get back to their room, Claire opens the door and walks inside but then just stares. She doesn't even say anything, letting Jamie see it for himself.

The room is full of people and it's Lallybroch - full on, a Hogmanay celebration happening. As Claire watches, stunned, she realizes these people can't see her but the music, the dancing, it's all happening around her. Jenny and Ian, and there, together, are Jamie and Claire, dancing to a fiddler, younger - much younger - and Brianna running between their legs. Claire knows it's her because she could never forget that small face, but oh. It still makes her breath catch.

It's a Christmas past that never came to be, and she presses her fingers to her lips, feeling an ache in her chest. After about ten minutes the scene loops back to the beginning, playing again.

Anyone is welcome to see this scene should they visit the Fraser's. Once she's out of her stupor about it she'll explain what home was once, but how this version of it never happened for any of them. ]

The Clinic

[ Not even her usual place of solace is free from the event. It's as she's sitting at her desk in her office that she hears a baby begin to fuss and she looks up, realizing the immediate area in front of her has changed. There's a cabin, Jamie kneeling at the hearth with snow falling outside. Stockings hung as Claire (older now, the gray present in her hair) explains why and what for and that it isn't silly. There are four stockings, and the Claire watching the scene unfold wonders until.

Until.

Brianna wanders out, a child swaddled in her arms, held protective and close.

"Jemmy wanted his grandpa, I think."

"Och, give him here, then, the fire'll keep."

She watches as Jamie, a man denied the right to hold all three of his children cradles a grandchild close to his chest and it makes Claire's knees buckle, sinking back down into her office chair. Is this the future? Bree in North Carolina with them, a child, presumably a husband. (But no fifth stocking?) She blindly reaches for her messenger and just sends a text telling Jamie to get to the clinic.

Anyone visiting the clinic will see the scene, and it loops and loops and loops. ]

Comments

The Clinic

[twirlier]

[Now that she's trapped inside, Misty is doing her best to keep herself busy. Quiet time means too much time to think, to let the scene build back up in her mind, so whatever she must do to avoid that, she will.

Even if it's walking in a scene that, for a moment, has her confused.

Pausing to stare, to watch, a soft smile on her lips as she sees the baby. For a moment thinking she is in the wrong room, that they've changed things with all the new people.

Then she realizes that Claire is there twice. Once by the fire and once...

It's as if realizing that she can see more clearly, crossing to where Claire is seated in the chair, moving to kneel beside the chair.]

Are you okay? I... I'm sorry I'm bothering. I can leave if you want.

[Realizing it might not be an event but instead some kind of memory that Claire is wanting to revisit and perhaps not wanting to be intruded on either.]

[beautifullies]

[ Claire's pulled out of watching when she hears a voice, and she looks over, seeing Misty and then shaking her head. When she opens her mouth to speak, she realizes her voice is hoarse and tries again, clearing her throat. ]

No. No, you can stay, I mean.

[ She doesn't know if she's okay or not yet. ]

[twirlier]

[That is all the invitation Misty needs, moving to Claire's side without any further hesitation. Dropping down to one knee beside her chair, trying not to look over her, as she glances at the scene unfolding and then to Claire.]

He's a beautiful baby.

[Which feel weak, but it makes her smile to see the child there with his family.]

[beautifullies]

My grandson.

[ Claire says it almost reverently, and just for need of connection, her hand grasps Misty's arms, even as she refuses to take her eyes away from the scene in front of her no matter how many times she's seen it already. ]

My husband was never able to hold our daughter. But if he can hold his grandchild...

[ God, it would be incredible. She hopes like hell this is the actual future. ]

[twirlier]

Oh Claire.

[She feels the tears in her eyes, so glad for this wonderful woman and her husband. So when she explains who the bay is, Misty felt that stinging grow stronger, happy for Claire and saddened at the same time. For Jamie never holding their daughter.]

I'm so sorry he couldn't, but this... I believe eventually you will have this. I can't believe the things we're seeing aren't real.

[She leans into Claire, moving to hug her but not pulling her away from watching the scene before them.]

He's so beautiful.

Fraser Residence

[bibliocorn]

[Sunburst met the other, younger Claire, which was an...experience in itself. He's here mostly to check up on the Claire he knows and cares about. This has to be another piece of Wonderland shenanigans in a currently very long list. He wants to make sure she's ok.

He wasn't expecting the little scene- more shenanigans, then. He remains still, ears pinned back. It feels a lot like he's intruding here. Wonderland is always good at that, making things visible to anyone who happens to walk upon them- regardless of if the people those things belong to want their memories known to the mansion at large.

When the memory runs it's course, he knocks the doorframe with a forehoof. ]

Um. Claire? I came to check up on you but something tells me asking if you're doing alright probably doesn't quite cut it.

[beautifullies]

[ Claire takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Jamie left a while ago, and she should, she knows she should.

When Sunburst speaks, she startles a little before looking over at him. At his statement, she looks back at the scene playing out. ]

I know that's Jamie and I. And I know that little girl is Bree, but we never got the chance to have this. It isn't real.

[bibliocorn]

[He listens, brow furrowing as he realises what she means. Wow, Wonderland.]

...Nice to know Wonderland is going to spend the season making everyone miserable.

[That's not the true spirit of Hearth's Warming, Wonderland.]

Would this be a bad time to tell you there's another version of you wandering around, too?

[beautifullies]

What?

[ It takes her a moment to snap out of staring at the image in front of her to look at Sunburst and process what he said. ]

Oh, no. No, I'm aware of her. Brianna ran into her first, then I tried to do damage control of...sorts.

[bibliocorn]

[Of course Brianna found her first, of course.]

...You know, just once, it'd be nice if Wonderland made it easy for you.

[It's like she's paying for having her family around now, which is freaking rude. You stop that, Wonderland, she doesn't deserve it. She's good people.]

You okay? Need to talk about it or...anything?

Fraser Residence

[1743]

It seems a cruel thing, to give him a glimpse of a life he knows will have never been. It's the life he'd always wanted, but it was snatched away from both of them, and it's another reminder that he's lost so very much time with his daughter. More than anything else, he's captivated by the sight of her, just watching her small, smiling face. At one point, he closes his eyes to blink back the tears that are threatening.

It's the first time he's really understood what Wonderland is capable of, how very much it likes to hurt people, it seems. To take their memories and taint them so, and give him an image he could reach out and touch, but never have for his own.

He doesn't know what to say, and he finally has to look away, walking away quietly to their room.

[givingback]

Bree's watched the scene over and over again, and it just makes her sad for her parents, really. Bree can't really put anything to this, she had happy holidays with both Claire and Frank, they were always special. So she's having a hard time but she can understand it, for Jamie especially, why it would be so upsetting.

Lightly, she knocks on the open bedroom door and looks at him.

"Wanna go for a walk?" she asks quietly. Away from here, from this scene that will never happen. "Mama went to go make sure there are enough medical supplies stocked up, on account of all the new people."

Bree's pretty sure she just wanted out of the room for a little while, too.

[1743]

The sadness he feels is on a level Claire simply can't understand; she had this, for years. She watched Brianna grow up, and Jamie missed all of it. So just this, just this fleeting glimpse of his child, is both a blessing and a curse. It was Frank who raised her, Frank whose arms held her through nightmares, childhood fevers, and heartbreak. It was Frank whom she adored.

"Aye. There's no an ill that a wee bit of fresh air canna heal," he smiles, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

[givingback]

Bree actually extends her hand to him, offering him another smile. She can give this to him, do this for him.

Once they're outside, it shifts from her hand to her arm in his.

"Will tell me what it's like? Celebrations at Lallybroch, I mean."

[1743]

Just that slight connection with his daughter means so much to him, and Jamie smiles as she reaches for his hand, then slips her arm into his. He parses through his memories to happier times, the good amidst the bad.

"Much dancing," he says immediately, with a soft smile. "Laughter. Oh, laughter was our music above all else. Games, and ale, and a bountiful feast." He hadn't laughed in many long years after Claire left, but it felt good to be amongst the joyful crowd, to imagine what their lives could have been.

The Clinic

[1743]

Wonderland has been a stranger place than usual of late, and his guard is up even moreso right now. He's been troubled by the image of a Christmas past that never came to be already, troubled even more by a young Claire being stuck here. So when he receives a text from his wife, his immediate thought is that something has happened, and he's worried, hurrying quickly to the clinic.

Before he sees anything, he immediately asks, "Claire, what's happened?"

[beautifullies]

This isn't exactly like the scene in their room. This is different because it's the future, and it could go exactly this way for all they know. Bree will find them in North Carolina and begin a family of her own.

Claire looks at Jamie, then nods toward the scene that's just beginning to loop, Bree cradling an infant in her arms.

[1743]

The moment Jamie steps forward, he's captivated by the sight of their daughter cradling what appears to be her own child. And she's seeking him, to hold his grandson. He can't truly believe his eyes for a moment, but with the knowledge that Brianna will find her way to them, perhaps this vision is a benevolent one. A small mercy.

"Claire..." He breathes out, his voice thick and husky in his throat.

[beautifullies]

Claire holds onto his hand tightly, as much to keep herself upright as it is to offer him support.

"We know she's coming to us, Jamie. This could be real. This could be just a couple of years from now," she says as her eyes sting with unshed tears.

[1743]

There's barely a moment's pause before Jamie loops his arm around her waist, pressing a solid, lingering kiss to her temple. He feels no shame in the tears that begin to just barely form in his eyes, accompanying a softly joyous smile. For a moment, it almost feels as if they aren't separated by anything, that they're in this moment together.

"Our bairn wi' one of her own. It's more than I could have ever hoped to have." With his other hand, Jamie gently turns Claire's face, needing to kiss her lips softly. "But everything I wanted with you, mo chridhe."

clinic

[mandrakes]

[His willingness to help her out in the clinic was never under any question, and with the number of people monitoring the place regularly now running thin, Regis has been making an effort to come by more often.

What he sees when he walks in has him stopping in his tracks. Christmas is an entirely foreign holiday to him, given the lack of Christ or, indeed, Christianity overall, but he has come to understand it while he's been here and even without that, he can still grasp the importance of the scene in front of him. He recognises Claire, and Jamie, and even Brianna as the short scenario plays out, and when it begins to loop again he finds his way to Claire herself, placing a hand gently on her shoulder.]

... Are you alright?

[beautifullies]

[ The truth is, Claire isn't sure. Is she, all right? She's not hurt, and this is a happy scene. Looking over at Regis, she swallows heavily, a hand going to rest on her chest. ]

I'm all right. I...never thought I would have this. My family whole, under one roof. I want to believe it will happen, but Wonderland does enjoy hurting us.

[mandrakes]

[Regis nods - a small, sympathetic gesture - and lightly squeezes her shoulder. She's right, of course. Wonderland does enjoy playing these cruel tricks and they can never be sure that anything it shows them is real.]

It does, and quite inventively besides. [He hasn't seen anything, himself, but perhaps that's only because he lacks any comparative holiday.]

I hope that it does happen for you, my dear.

[beautifullies]

Jamie was robbed of so much, Regis. I need him to have this. At least to be able to hold our grandchild in his arms.

[ Claire leans into him a bit, sighing softly. ]

To even be able to meet our daughter seemed like a thing that would never happen but at least he has it here, if nothing else.

[mandrakes]

[He puts an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder lightly.]

She's a formidable young woman. Much like her mother. I have noted that much about her already.