entrancelogs | One Week

[ once the gender mess had been over and done with, as well as his "good times" at the asylum, dean's avoided most places like the plague. by now he has a good enough idea of what each will do, and unlike some people who willingly jump into the melting pots of crazy provided by wonderland, he's had more than enough.

sure, there had been nothing dangerous about being a chick, but with this place and everything it stands for, the many familiar faces and those he didn't know all claiming to know him, there's only so much excitement dean is willing to join out of his own free will.

that being said, sitting around in his room doesn't quite do it either, and after a few choice days of avoiding, he does venture out again, though keeping in mind all the places where something had happened, and staying clear. it's how he finds what appears to be a normal, pretty girl wandering the hallways much like he is, though hers is a face he hasn't seen before which is honestly all the more reason for him to approach.

maybe she's someone who hadn't known him, someone, when compared to the rest, relatively normal. he can hope, right? ]

Hey, there. You lost?

[ said with his number one best smile. ]

[ As luck would have it — maybe not Blake's luck, or Dean's luck, but someone's luck — there's absolute recognition hidden carefully somewhere behind this woman's eyes. As soon as she spots Dean, there's an instant urge to disappear, to just melt into the ground, into nothing at all.

In another place and time, likely not even all that long ago, Blake would be in a position to never, ever live this down. The dress, the hair, the bangles and the earrings, all by choice. Even the return to a gazebo had been purposeful.

But, as it stands (with this Dean, at least), there's a chance they could avoid awkwardness entirely if Blake just neglects to reveal a true identity. It might be easier that way. ]

Um, no. Not... lost.

[ She glances away, focusing on something else — a door, in this case — entirely too aware of the heels in this moment when Blake's trying so carefully to remain absolutely still.

Oh, fuck it. Maybe it's better if she does move. ]

—'scuse me. [ Said quietly, voice decidedly feminine despite it's timbre and huskiness. ] Should prob'ly be goin'.

[ a shy one then. dean blinks some at the reaction, the way she looks at anything but him and seems to just tense. but while dean might be good at reading people -- someone people, and on cases -- he's by no means perfect, and this chick? new face to him. and this possibly not being her real identity, despite knowing what's going on with the gazebo, doesn't even begin to cross his mind. ]

Woah, I didn't mean to spook you or anything.

[ that's what it is, right? has to be. ]

'Cause I'm pretty sure I'm halfway lost in this place-- s'a big-ass mansion.

[ not something he was all too keen on admitting, but there it is. and hers had looked like a friendly face. ]

[ It makes sense, it does. He's new, Blake does have a friendly face, and on almost every level, there's a willingness to help. But this is a compromising situation, and it's only made harder by the fact that Blake's reserved to not think all that much of Dean as of late.

And yet, here they are. She folds in on herself, coming into a more resting stance. Must be sticking around, right? ]

You're lookin' for somethin', then? [ She looks back to him finally, dark eyes searching for any sense of recognition. ] Could tell you where to go.

[ And now she's trying not to smirk. It could certainly be taken any way Dean likes, but she means to be helpful despite her greater common sense. ]

[ when she doesn't flee the scene, dean offers another smile and then shrugs some. ]

Looking around, more like. Which was definitely planned without the mixing up my hallways and floors bit. [ not to mention the fact that the halls seem to have endless amounts of rooms, too. it's all...nuts. ]

Thought I would've seen the whole place in a week but I guess not.

[ not with everything that's been going on and distracting him, as well. but with her apparently in a warmer mood now, dean's not about to pass up getting to know her. might as well try to make a friend or two-- or something. ]

But I'll take any directions.

[ Blake fights back the urge to note that Dean's been here about four days longer than he'd originally predicted, and really, what's the point of rubbing it in? By now, he has to be getting the impression things in Wonderland are a lot more unpredictable and wildly out of control than it might initially appear. ]

Directions, sure.

Kitchen's on the first floor. Clinic, too, down at the end of the hall. Library moves 'round, but I've had good luck catchin' it on one and two.

There's a bar on five, a diner up on eight, and, uh... [ She shrugs. ] —a hookah lounge on eight, too.

[ After so long, it's just as familiar as giving directions to the convenient store up the street. ]

[ she lists everything and dean just ends up whistling a low sound, somewhat impressed. ]

You really know your stuff, huh? Must've been here a while.

[ it still disturbs him how long some people have been stuck here. two, three years-- and many of his friends from home were in that bunch. if not that, then a good few for at least a year. that's a year too long for dean, no matter what people have been saying about his previous stay having been even longer than that.

but never mind that, dean casts the thought from his head and instead gives her a look. ]

You got a name?

[ C: ]

[ Moment of truth, eh? Blake was awaiting this inevitability as soon as Dean tossed out the very first smile. He's so smug, isn't he? And maybe rightfully so — Dean's clearly earned his credibility — but that doesn't do much to help Blake, who is still somehow mourning a man that's standing right here. ]

Robin.

[ It comes out without prompting and Blake immediately regrets the decision. That name's always been used as a taunt between them, something of a joke. It's not a lie — it's written Robin John Blake on the birth certificate — but Blake's not exactly being truthful about the big picture here, either.

She snaps her fingers and gestures behind them toward the nearest set of stairs. ]

Oh, and avoid the basement.

[ dean just looks pleased to get a name. ]

Robin? Nice.

[ it has a nice ring to it, easy to remember. dean really thinks nothing of it, other than that. she seems a little closed off, but then, dean can't really judge for that even if he figures anyone with the kinda knowledge of this place that she seems to have would be used to the new people q&a sessions.

he tosses a look towards the stairs, expression turning into something much more... curious. ]

Why? Hidin' a dragon down there or something?

[ he wouldn't even be surprised at this point anymore. ]

~~[ Phrasing. ]~~

Aha, not quite. But... you happen 'cross any albino crocodiles, you oughta know, they're not slow on land. And they're kinda stealthy. [ She winces, a bit dramatically, and even laughs. ] Learned that the hard way.

[ It's not a particularly fond memory, even if it's delivered with a mixture of derring-do and ne're-do-well attitudes. And all this to hide what Blake knows is a particularly pointed turn from what's right in this situation.

It's not lying, she's not lying, but the sudden omission of all details is a stark reminder of how quickly things can change in Wonderland.

What's a person to do in a situation like this? Playing along had seemed like the quick and dirty answer, but now that Dean's demonstrating some persistence it doesn't quite feel like the most attractive choice anymore.

Blake quickly recovers from that headiness gained over a glimpse at the ease they once had, from smile to nothing in just that much time. No one that's particularly right in the head would allow something like this to keep going. ]

Castiel can help. [ Said as she goes to move past, particularly hoping it doesn't sound too specific to be questioned. ] He'll have your best interests in mind while doin' it.

[ cue brow raise. ]

You're kidding, right? Stealthy but fast on land albino crocodiles? Jesus.

[ damn all that's missing is the fire breathing and it would be a dragon, if you ask him. but the laugh has him scoffing an almost amused sound, like it's a story he wants to hear. ]

You'll have to tell me about it sometime.

[ and this all seems to be going so well, right until it's not. just like that. dean is left wondering if he missed something in the few seconds it takes for robin to go from laughing to moving past him like their conversation is over. of course, it's the mention of cas more than anything which throws him-- ]

Wait, you know Cas? [ the rest does nothing to silence the curiosity suddenly, or the feeling that he's being... maybe even messed with in some way. ]

...Does that mean you know me, too?

[ because a lot seem to, and knowing cas usually means knowing dean to some extent. ]

[ This is where things get a... little more difficult, right? Because good intentions only go so far, and there really is a reason that the road to Hell is paved with them. Maybe the more important fact, though, is how little Blake wants to continue this conversation all of a sudden. She's going to have to come clean, right? Eventually, she'll have to.

Turning on her heel, facing Dean once again, her hands splay out in front of her in something of a helpless, hapless shrug, and she offers the most schooled expression she can manage. No smile, no frown, just that oh-so-typical stoicism that was once very identifiable to Blake (but has since mostly passed away to generally good humor in the year-plus of existence spent in Wonderland). ]

Everyone knows you, Dean Winchester.

[ Isn't that the truth, though? But not the whole truth, because Blake knows a lot more than your average ~~bat~~ bear. A lot more. (Although, to be fair, the most pointed secret — those pink satin panties Winchester wore at the behest of a past lover — was already revealed to Wonderland in some part thanks to the wonderful events offered by the setting). ]

Think that's— [ And maybe there's a waver here, which she hopes to cover by focusing her attention on a passing bird. ] Think that's the problem. But just bein' you — the you that you are now, I mean — will... fix that.

[ There's an unspoken "for all of us" tacked on to the end of that statement. And Christ, it hurts, but it's true. All this Dean needs to do is keep moving forward, and like everything else in Wonderland, eventually the past — all that he was for that fourteen months — will just... disappear, efficiently, and without regard to anyone's true feelings.

Blake swallows it all down, but those emotions, often unexpressed and generally saved just for Dean, don't seem to be going anywhere but right to his head.

Don't look at him, don't look at him, don't look at him... Keep it together, Blake. For Christ's sake, just finish this and go. ]

[ is this how it's all going to go? he meets people, new faces or not, and they all expect the other him, have some idea of him that he has no say in? his face falls from the previous eagerness to talk to her -- talk to someone, finally -- to muted disappointment. maybe he doesn't understand the situation yet, the place or the people, but this...

someone had said he'd been an anchor to people here. is that what they all expect when they see him now, even without the memories people claim he's supposed to have?

his hands are curled into fists at his sides, and he nods at her words. ]

Right, I get it.

[ except he doesn't. but no matter, she doesn't want to do this because of... whoever he'd been before, and he can accept that. there's a pause for a moment, and in those few seconds he sucks it up as he pushes his hands into his pockets. a step back, and the smile which erases the disappointment is tense. ]

Guess I'll take your word on that.

[ the sooner he finds a way out of this place, the better. if anything, this conversation alone confirms as much. ]

[ No, see? Blake thought it couldn't possibly get worse, thought that after everything that's happened — from human chess matches to future echoes — that eventually it has to all bottom out, right? But it never has.

Moments like this are a good reminder of that. It's proof that there's still somewhere to go, and that Blake has a choice as to whether it's up or down. ]

It's... [ A pause. ] It's hard to know how to be real when you're not so sure what's real.

[ She nods slowly, mouth working against itself as she returns her gaze to his. ]

I'm sorry, Dean.

Really owe you an apology, n-not just 'cause of— [ She gestures around them. ] —all this, but 'cause of all of us. And... for the things I didn't do, or say. Especially for the things I did do and say. Today, specifically.

[ She gives him a very pointed look, not at all lacking in remorse. ]

I know it's not fair to— to— do this, I know that. Meant what I said when I told you his mantle's not yours... even if I suck at provin' that in practice.

You just need to know, it's hard. And you will know, hopefully not soon, but you'll know. Sooner than you oughta.

[ And thus, the distinction of receiving one of Blake's uncommon tirades goes to Dean Winchester once again. ]

[ things go from surprising to unexpected to something else all too fast. it's been happening since he arrived in this place, dirty and bloody from purgatory, yet monster heaven had seemed simple compared to the messes here, to the people. the words confuse him first, the jumbled, strained way she says it all leaves him blinking.

but slowly, he picks it apart, though it leaves dean with almost more questions than answers, like everything else. ]

It's alright, y'know. [ it's said slowly, eventually. ]

I mean, I don't really get all of this yet, but... [ how can he, this is all entirely new to him. a situation he's never been in, despite all the bullshit he's already gone through in life.

but he appreciates the words. no one's said even half as much to him, yet. ]

For what it's worth, I'd remember if I could.

[ he's been thinking about it since arriving. if there was a way to jog the memories, bring them back, he'd do it. it might mean getting everyone out of this mess-- which he knows, he'd told someone he doesn't care about. that all he wants is to get himself and those he holds dear out.

but it sounded like his previous self had other plans, and maybe dean had been too quick to dismiss the idea in the frenzy of his arrival. ]

[ It takes time to settle. Even for those who've been in Wonderland for years, it takes time to find the new rhythm of life with every addition (and subtraction) to the residents and the landscape. Even then, it's an imperfect balance with the events being tossed in every couple of weeks.

Blake can sympathize and appreciate how very out of place things must feel for Dean, she really can.

Beyond that, there's no doubt that Winchester would remember if he could. Blake's faith in that is implicit, even if the chance of that happening reduces dramatically by the day.

All of it wrapped together is messy and patchwork, but it's life. In Wonderland, this is what a person can expect, shitty as it may be. ]

Maybe... [ A breath escapes her. ] —we can start over if we gotta start over.

[ Her hand is offered out in earnest, and Blake's somehow relieved and altogether twisted up all at the same time. ]

John Blake. The— my, uh... I-I don't really... use my first name.

[ dean's used to having the carpet pulled from under his feet. it happens all too often, with facts about this and that thrown at him and dean left with barely any time to recover. he's been told worse things than the fact that the chick he's been talking to for the past some minutes is actually a dude who he'd spoken to sometime over a week ago. and yet, it's still kind of...

a slap.

but it makes the pieces fall together, has dean knitting his brow together and glancing from her face to the offered hand, and then back again. ]

You're that... You're that guy. The weird dude--

[ john blake from gotham, or whatever. but the words are left hanging, and the hand isn't taken, despite the bit about starting over, and how for a moment there dean had thought it the best plan, too.

instead, he looks baffled, which then quickly fades into something a whole lot more wry as he throws the place another look, trying to gather his thoughts, to gather the situation. ]

Jesus, this is just gettin' better and better by the minute.

[ give him a break already. ]

[ Oh, a break. Okay, yeah, sure, have a break, Dean. Because Wonderland is the kind of place that regularly offers those. (Seriously, though, the guy does deserve a break here, and Blake will surely admit as much later, but for now...) ]

You kiddin' me? [ So much exasperation all of a sudden, that hand dropping back to her side. ] After every—

[ She huffs and crosses her arms, jaw working back and forth during the short silence. Arguing is the last think she wants to do here, but the desperation (or whatever this idiotic, lost, stupid, unpleasant, ridiculousness) Blake happens to be feeling dictates something of a response.

Her voice becomes more clipped the second time around. ]

Look, might be weird — whatever that means in a place like this — but I was also tryin' to help. If you're gonna be too stubborn to even consider takin' a little advice, then fine, but don't act like you're bein' persecuted here.

[ Blake tosses her hands into the air. ]

Christ, whatever. Dean? Good seein' you. Have a pleasant stay.

[ And then she proceeds to make the most valiant attempt to stomp away... only to fail spectacularly. Like a newborn faun on shaky legs, she wavers along at a pace barely faster than walking, arms stretched out a little like she might as well be traversing a tightrope.

Fucking Wonderland. ]

[ dean isn't entirely surprised by the reaction, but that still doesn't leave him happy about it. blake giving him attitude? please, he has no fucking right, not if you ask dean.

a quiet tch later, and he's stepping up after her-- him, whatever. though he doesn't reach out, just barks out the words. ]

Helpin'? Please.

[ he doesn't know blake, doesn't know anything about him or where he comes from (because someone is refusing to piece the facts) and honestly? he doesn't want to, not right now. not when the guy is pulling shady shit on him like this whole-- girl thing. ] Yeah, you pretendin' to be someone else while chit-chatting with me is real helpful, thanks.

[ and another step after her, voice taking a sharper, harder turn. ]

And what's with that anyway, you like get your kicks from that or something? What's wrong with you.

[ or maybe he's just really looking for a fight now, but blake's been signing up for it since day one. right along with that potter kid, and dean? frustrated with this place doesn't even begin to cover it, so right now's just about as a good of a time as any to throw it down.

of course, blake might just end up doing the damage to herself... himself ... if she keeps wobbling away the way she is. granted, dean's almost tempted to trip her just to get the ball rolling. ]

Do me a favor and break an ankle while you're busy with your exit plan there.

[ This sounds like almost every domestic violence call that Blake's ever visited in his career as a police officer, which is probably one of the most ridiculous things ever, because it's clearly not going to stop here.

In an effort to prevent herself from breaking and ankle — but thank you for the suggestion, Dean, you asshole — Blake pulls off one heel followed by another as she turns back to face Winchester, eyes narrowed. ]

Jesus, what are you even talkin' 'bout? You're delusional!

[ One shoe goes one direction, the other shoe in the opposite direction, and Blake's stalking back toward the hunter, only a few inches over five feet without those heels. ]

Did you forget me tryin' to avoid you back there? Oh, right, no, 'cause that's not convenient for your little paranoid theory, is it? Just like it's not convenient to- to think 'bout how I was right the last time we talked!

You're just—! [ Augh! ] —bein' a huge dick!

[ Pot, meet kettle, though, let's be real here. ]

[ the moment those heels come off, dean's ready to duck. it wouldn't be the first time an angry chicks' thrown a shoe or two at him, but when instead blake just rounds right back at him, dean's meets her head on.

how this had gone from decent to right down south so fast is really beyond dean, but then he's in no mood to care about it either. he scoffs at her, like she's insane. ]

It's you and the rest of the crazies 'round here who're freakin' delusional.

[ blake and everyone else. be they from dean's world or not, he's really starting to be sure everyone has their screws loose. there are things that don't add up, people who have changed so much dean's having trouble recognizing them, and of course there's people like blake who look at him like he's somehow let them down, like it justifies what's happening right now.

but dean won't have any of it. ]

And maybe -- if you can wrap your damn head around it -- but maybe I'm bein' a dick 'cause you just played me back there with the pretty little face gig instead of fessin' up to who you really are.

[ so really blake's just forever to blame, and dean's innocent. sort of.

or not. ]

I don't know what crawled up your ass and died, but you pull this crap with me again and it'll end real ugly.

[ This has certainly turned from bad to worse in a relatively short amount of time, there's no doubting that. And Dean might be used to posturing and flying shoes and hard lines, but Blake's not.

When faced with Winchester's words, her face twists into something entirely unpleasant. By now she's close enough to grapple if need be, but for the time being she's spitting an aggressive and misplaced vitriol at this guy with sharp jabs of her index finger to accompany the words. ] Fuck you. [ —the strong words. ]

You wanna fight, you wanna be like this, then bring it on, but don't act like you didn't have any kinda part in what just happened, Dean. [ His name's almost a taunt in of itself. ] 'Cause I didn't lie a-an' I tried to walk away, but you just—

[ Augh! The squeal she makes is almost entirely lady in design, nothing like a primal yell, but beyond that, she's certainly pumping out those I wanna hit you vibes. ]

We were— we were brothers. You called me family, an' then— then this, an' you wanna act like I'm wrong for feelin' crazy? You were my best friend an' you left, an' now you don't even wanna know me! Excuse me for bein' a little cranky!!

Edited (typo :X) 2014-03-29 06:04 (UTC)

[ dean wants to roll his eyes at the words, at being told to fuck off. ain't the first fucking time, not by a long shot, and dean still doesn't see how blake has any right to be angry.

of course, that's when she decides to shed some light on it.

dean doesn't know what he's supposed to do with it all. of course there's something like friendship behind it all, he should have seen that coming, should have known it was beyond the usual acquaintance stuff, too. back home that just doesn't happen though, not a lot, but here-- if he's been stuck here for fourteen months, then yeah, he guesses, he'd have some friends.

weird, gender-changing, cranky friends like blake, too.

but it doesn't change much, it doesn't jog his memory, or suddenly make him feel like maybe he should take what he'd said before. but it does shut him up for a good long moment, fists bundled at his sides and staring down at blake. ]

You didn't-- you didn't say that before. [ when they'd first spoken. sure, he can kind of understand why, but still. ]

What the hell a I supposed to do with that? You know I don't-- [ remember. but the confession is stealing the fight from him despite how dean wants to cling to it. it'd be easier. he's running a hand through his hair a moment later, taking maybe half a step back from her. ]

Fuck this.

[ It feels like everything's spinning.

All of this drama, all of this wasted time, and all that Blake can think is that none of it matters and all of it matters. Every choice, every decision makes a difference in the history of Wonderland, but no one's chronicling it. There are no hallowed tomes, or books of yore to record that John Blake and Dean Winchester were once, but not again, friends.

It feels like it won't matter, and it shouldn't matter, but it does. ]

Yeah... fuck this.

[ She's deflates in the aftermath of that confession, in the wake of Dean's reminder. It's painfully obvious that he doesn't remember — Blake couldn't possibly forget that fact — but that hasn't wiped away the hope, the desire, the need to at least try again. To be friends, even if they had to start over. Maybe that had been the wrong choice, but it was certainly one Blake had been compelled to make.

Pawing the back of her hand across her face, she holds his gaze as long as she can and then shakes her head right through her exhale. ]

Sorry. You just— [ Blake swallows. ] —take care. Please.

[ And that's the best she's got for now, meaning it's really time to go. She turns and hurries away. ]

One Week

on the 27th!

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I'm so sorry Blake's such a turd D:

so that's his real name huh UWU

this...

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