{open} run from the one who comes to find you

[thehobbsgirl]

Who: Abigail Hobbs & YOU
Where: Anywhere around the mansion
When: The duration of the event (May 17 - 19)
Rating: R for gory imagery, discussion of cannibalism, murder, and trauma (will update as needed)
Summary: Abigail experiences her first event in Wonderland, which leaves her craving acceptance, and forgiveness for her part in her father's murders. As the days go by, though, she begins to also desire violence, and the feeling of power it gives her.
The Story:

Abigail has learned the hard way what she can and can't bear. Looking at her life from a distance, she wouldn't think anyone would be capable of living with what's been done to her, with what she's done, with the compromises she's made in the name of her own survival. But experience has taught her that she can endure it. There are nightmares, there is anger and guilt roiling just beneath the surface of her mind, but she can ignore them.

It's all just this side of bearable - at least, until outside forces see fit to intervene. With the beginning of the event, this plague of Famine churns up the semblance of order she's created for her mind. Suddenly, acutely, she aches for things she knows she can't have (and probably doesn't deserve). Understanding. Forgiveness. A feeling of power and control over herself and her life.

She can't get the faces of those eight girls out of her head. Every time she blinks she sees Marissa's body, naked and dripping blood, displayed as if she were a thing. She can't stop thinking about Nick Boyle, how he'd looked when he stopped breathing, how his body had changed when she dug him up months later.

Since she'd arrived here, the best thing had been her anonymity - the fact that so few people here knew anything about her and what she'd been through. But she finds herself yearning for people who understand what it was like, who can give her some kind of consolation that she is not the monster she thinks she is.

As the days pass and she gets very little sleep, Abigail's emotions shift from self-loathing to rage, from longing to loathing. Instead of thinking about how Nick hadn't deserved to die, she starts to remember how good it felt to kill him. How this time, she hadn't let herself get hurt. She'd taken control of the situation and watched him bleed out, seen the long slit down his belly and known she was the one who put it there. Maybe, just maybe if she felt that again, she could get some sleep...

Comments

[likesimpossible]

As far as cravings go, the Doctor's gotten off lightly. His need for adventure and thirst for it has been increased quite a bit, meaning he's been running all over the mansion and grounds and not stopping, not even to catch his breath. It's a case of so much to do and see and so little time.

So he's in the process of going off to his next adventure when he passes by Abigail in a second floor corridor. As far as corridors go, it's not very interesting, but it's just the pathway to something more exciting.

He grins at Abigail as he passes, unable to keep the words from bursting out as he does, "Hello! Brilliant day, isn't it?"

Granted, she doesn't look as though she's having the greatest day ever, which is disconcerting, but his cheerfulness is just hard to tone down.

[thehobbsgirl]

Abigail's patience is wearing thin by this point; she'd been having a hard enough time coping with her life before all this started, and she's starting to think the event might be the straw that will break the camel's back. She's pacing the corridors, arms crossed tightly, trying to ignore half the thoughts going through her head. Most of the time, Abigail understands her own mind well enough. She's not the kind of girl who has random, violent thoughts - at least, not that often. Not as often as she has been today.

So to see someone else who is clearly having so much fun puts a spark to a fuse that she didn't even know was in her.

"No," she mutters, sullenly - quietly enough that it's possible he'll miss it, if he's not paying attention, "Nothing brilliant about it."

[likesimpossible]

Abigail's lack of patience isn't lost on the Doctor, but he's a bit caught up in a feeling that's rather similar to euphoria to really stop to think about how his demeanor might be perceived by others. He just feels happy for some reason, and it's all but impossible to keep the smile off his face.

"Well, that's too bad. Really, I'm sorry you're not having a better day." He's been having a good one so far, and one might even say, he's been having the best day that he can remember since coming to Wonderland. It's all a bit inexplicable, really.

"I don't suppose there's anything I can do, is there?"

[thehobbsgirl]

On some level, Abigail understands that his disgusting cheerfulness is probably the result of this event, just as much as her foul mood is. That doesn't stop it from grating on her nerves. He's only trying to help, but it's infuriating to her. Everyone always wanted to help her, but no one ever did it.

"Not unless you have a time machine," Abigail says, with sarcastic sweetness, giving the Doctor a smile that somehow seems to say now go away.

[likesimpossible]

Actually, he's a bit cheerful on a normal day, but some of that is being accentuated by the effects of this event. And seeing how helping is what he does as a rule, if there's anything he can do, he'd move mountains to try and do just that.

"Well, I do have one, though she's not here at the moment, so I suppose I'm not much use. But I can do other things that might help you." She just has to tell him more about what she needs first.

[thehobbsgirl]

Even though she's been confronted with supernatural creatures, angels, alternate universes and goodness knows what else, Abigail's still rather getting used to it all, so she just assumes that this guy is making a joke. Probably trying to help with humor, but she's not in the mood to be charmed.

He really doesn't seem to be giving up all that easily; Abigail looks at him, suddenly more shrewd than short-tempered.

"Let me guess, you're feeling an urgent need to cheer people up, or something like that?" There's scorn in the way she says it, but all the same, she won't deny that talking to him is, just barely, better than wandering around alone entertaining disturbing thoughts. So, with a somehow distinctly teenage sullen reluctance, she admits, "A distraction might be nice, but there's nothing to do around here."

[likesimpossible]

Unfortunately for Abigail, this isn't something brought on by the event. The Doctor is just naturally cheerful, and what the event is doing to him is making him really, really hungry for adventure. And for the moment, this translates into trying to talk Abigail's ear off.

"No, actually, this is just how I am. It's better being happy than not, I'd say." He doesn't mind the scorn in her voice; he's used to coming up against some nay-sayers, if that's even the right word. "Well, I don't know about that. I find there's a lot of people to talk to, and even more things outside the mansion to see, if you like exploring."

And he loves exploring, in case she hasn't gathered that yet.

[thehobbsgirl]

Abigail, who had only just begun to warm to the Doctor, turns icy once again.

"Better being happy? So what you're saying is you're better than me because I'm not happy?" It's not exactly what he said, but it's certainly what Abigail heard. She has heard plenty of this kind of rhetoric in her time. Nurses and other patients telling her she was the only one holding herself back, making herself gloomy. That she was responsible, essentially, for her own misery. Often enough they packaged it up with suggestions on how to improve herself (because obviously, she must want to), with suggestions ranging from doing yoga to forgiving her father because, apparently, she wasn't allowed to stay angry.

"I hadn't realized that. I guess I ought to try to be more like you, huh?" Her words are saccharine sweet and positively dripping with sarcasm.

[likesimpossible]

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Why would I ever say anything like that?" If that's how he sounded, then he's flat-out mortified, because that's not what he meant at all. He'd never tell anyone they needed to change who they were, and neither would he hold himself up as a paragon of anything. Well, alright, he might be quick to call himself a genius and brilliant and a dozen other synonyms all meaning the same thing, but he'd never do what Abigail's suggesting.

"You should be yourself, that's what you ought to do. There's only one you, after all. The world doesn't need two of me." Or two of anyone, for that matter. What it does need is individuals with different likes, dislikes, and personalities, and that is why he'd never say she should try to be like him.

[thehobbsgirl]

"Oh."

Abigail deflates; he sounds genuine, confused, and even as the resentment still stirs in her gut, she realizes how defensive she must song. Best way to spot a guilty conscience: to wait for it to reveal itself. Had she been projecting? It seems likely to her. After all, she hasn't always been this unhappy. There are days she wishes she could find her way back to that happiness, but she doesn't know how.

"Sorry." It's grudging, but she means it. "I think this Famine thing's got me picking fights."

[likesimpossible]

Honestly, Abigail baffles him a little bit, like there's something just slightly off about her that he can't put a finger on. But whatever it is, it's stirring up that instinct of his to want to help, however he can. If he can, because some things and some people just can't be helped.

But helping people, or trying to, is what he does, so if there's anything he can do, of course he'll try.

"Why be sorry? You haven't done anything wrong." He's the one making a bit of a mess of things, so far as he can tell. "What's that, then? What Famine thing?"

[thehobbsgirl]

"The 'Event'," she clarifies, adding air-quotes with her finger - she's still growing accustomed to all this weird terminology, "The reason everyone's acting so crazy these last few days. Apparently, one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse is to blame. That's what the guy on the network said, anyway."

She's keeping a healthy dose of skepticism, but until a better solution presents itself, she's just going to go along with the explanations that are provided to her. All the same, it's ridiculous how surreal her life has become since she's come here. Wanting to reconcile for her snappishness (for the Doctor's simple forgiveness is a drop in the bucket; Abigail wonders if the reason she's feeling so hostile is that she'll lash out, apologize, and then be forgiven), Abigail asks: "Haven't you gotten any weird impulses or cravings like everyone else?"

[likesimpossible]

"Oh, right, the event." It's the first time he's heard it called the Famine, that's all, though it does make sense. "Events happen around here, which I'm sure you know, but it's always different, every time." And no, he can't keep the excitement from sounding in his voice, not that he'd really want to. It's just part of the machinations of this event: making him so very hungry for adventure, and even viewing even something like this as exciting.

Life in Wonderland is a bit surreal, but the Doctor's seen so many things in his travels that it's a bit easy to take things in stride, including the weirdness of the events and also reactions to his, well, rather different way of viewing things that he gets from others. "'Course I have. Well, I think I have, anyway."

He shrugs, not really bothered by anything that's going on. "I just feel like there's so much to do and see around here, and I want to do it all, if I can. And thing is, I know I can. Do it all, that is." The perks of not needing a lot of food and rest, or something along those lines.

He's been running all over the mansion at all hours of the day and night and not really showing any signs of flagging.

[thehobbsgirl]

"Sounds pretty manic if you ask me." Abigail has no scale against which to compare for the Doctor, so her mind turns to the comparison that is available: there were a handful of bipolar kids her own age at Port Haven, and Abigail had heard and seen enough of their harebrained schemes to know the look of it.

She finds herself jealous of the energy and optimism, even if it's probably temporary. A tiny part of her wonders if she should ask what he plans to do, if he will take her with him to do it. Even if it's something stupid like exploring the woods or going into the maze, it could wrestle her out of her funk.

But sense (or what she thinks of as sense, which is probably closer to paranoia) follows soon after. She doesn't know anything about this guy, not even his name. She should ask that then let him be on his way, check with Hannibal and see if he's dangerous.

"What's your name anyway?"