entrancelogs | You were a child who was made of glass

Entry tags:

You were a child who was made of glass | Closed

Who: Wirt [

therapize]
Where: Wirt's Room, Third Floor Room 18
When: August 17th
Rating: PG-ish?
Summary: Backdated! Cami goes to check on Wirt while he's recovering from Bill possessing him.
The Story:

[Cami's going to be there any minute and Wirt is trying desperately to calm his nerves.

When he first hung up, he put his face in a pillow and just groaned at himself. Why did he agree to this?! He's an absolute mess right now and just a few minutes ago he was thinking he never wanted anyone to see him again.

Despite how awful he feels though, he's restless waiting for her to get there, since he knows it won't be long. He pushes himself up off the bed and paces around, carefully dodging the books scattered all over his floor. The room itself is very Wirt. The furniture is all older and ornate, the kinds of things Wirt would have himself if he had complete control over what furniture his family owned, but for the walls and floor he defaulted to what was familiar and comfortable. He's slowly been replacing all of the poems his Mirror stole with new ones, and they're taped in random places along his walls. He contemplates taking them down before Cami gets there, because it's never just one thing once he really gets going. About a dozen things creep up for him to be anxious about, from his guilt and shame over the deal with Bill, to how he probably looks like he's going to fall over (or at least he assumes he looks like walking death), to dumb little things that don't matter in the moment at all like his poetry on the walls.

It takes him a couple of tries to halt, but he stops pacing and drags his hands down his face before berating himself a little.]

Oh my gosh. Wirt, stop it. I-It's just Cami, she's not going to-- or, well. If she does think less of she probably won't actually say so. Ugh, why am I such an idiot?

[He takes a couple of deep breaths because this is going to be fine. This is Cami. She...probably won't think any less of him for all this. Maybe. Who knows though? He screwed up big time this time, and his thoughts keep looping back to how stupid he is. He doesn't have much time to calm down before she arrives, but he manages to get to a point where he's pretty sure he won't freak out on her as soon as he opens the door.

Soon enough, there's a knock, and Wirt stares at the door for a beat. One last deep breath, and then he opens it. He still looks tired and sore and sick, and even worse in person than over the network, but he at least attempts to muster up a friendly greeting. It's not much, but it's the best he can manage at the moment.]

Uh. ...Hi, Cami.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Wirt’s right to think it won’t take her long; Cami doesn’t stop or even slow during the trip, artfully dodging anyone she comes across with a half-hearted excuse me called out over her shoulder. Yet even that short time is enough for her to think through at least some of her anger, to allow her to set the sharpest of it aside for the moment. Her priority right now has to be Wirt, and it won’t help him to see the O’Connell temper come out in her.

So she knocks and waits, impatient for an answer and almost to the point of just going in anyway when Wirt finally opens the door. He’d looked pretty bad when they’d spoken on the phone, but seeing him in person drives home just how miserable he truly appears to be. It’s honestly hard for her to even know how she feels, relief and worry and ever-present frustration swirling together in her mind.]

Hi Wirt. [So she huffs out her answer on a short breath, then focuses on what she can do. A quick look around the room reveals—well, not quite what she’d expect from a typical teenager, but the mess fits. The important part is the bed, and she’s quick to point to it.] Go lay down, okay? You look pretty awful.

[Not wanting to be questioned, Cami follow’s after, letting Wirt settle in bed before she takes a seat on the edge and looks at him expectantly. He knows why she’s there, and she’s going to hold true to her word, but she wants to give Wirt a chance to open up on his own first.]

I..u-um. Okay. Sure.

[Wirt goes over and sits on the bed, up against the headboard again, but apparently she meant business when she said lay down, so he gives her a sheepish look ad slides down, still on top of the covers, until he's horizontal. He'd be under them, but he knows if he gets too comfortable right now he'll probably just fall asleep on her and then she'd probably be kind of annoyed. He feels like a little kid though, like he's being mothered. It's not necessarily a bad thing though. Wirt generally feels better when someone else is in charge, even if it's a little embarrassing.

The signature cape and hat aren't really comfortable to wear while resting, and now that they're further in the room she can see that they were lazily tossed on the floor and forgotten at some point, at least for now. She's still looking at him like that though and not saying anything and it's extremely unsettling. Wirt doesn't even know where to begin, or what to say. All he knows is he doesn't want to go first but he doesn't really have a choice.]

...There was this guy I was talking to, Bill. H-He said that he travels through dimensions all the time, and that he knew how to send people home. He...He seemed like he knew what he was talking about, and like a nice enough guy? He said he couldn't do it for free though, and offered me a deal like...months ago, now. I told him I'd think about it, but...

[He frowns. He had been so hesitant at first. Why couldn't he have stayed like that?]

...but then Beatrice left again and-- I-I dunno. I was just, done. I was done with Wonderland bringing people here and sending them away again a-and leaving me here. I wanted to go back to the Unknown, back to Beatrice and Greg. So...I-I reached out to him. I said I was ready.

[He lifts up his hands and presses his palms against his eyes, not wanting to have to look at her reaction to his stupidity.] O-Obviously it didn't-- he tricked me. I'm such an idiot. I should have known better! It was too good to be true, so of course it was going to turn out like that! I-I don't know why I ever trust anyone! This always happens! Every time!

[Okay, maybe he's slipping into melodrama a little bit, but it sure feels like it's every time. He makes the mistake of trusting someone and it gets thrown back in his face. ...Though, if he really believed he couldn't trust anyone, he probably wouldn't be having this conversation with Cami at all.]

[No, he doesn’t have a choice. And while Cami does think he needs his rest, or that she might pick up those stray items tossed carelessly away, all of that comes after an explanation. She needs to understand what happened, who is to blame, who has to be stopped because they’ve taken advantage of a boy so afraid he’s easy to manipulate. Thankfully Wirt doesn’t dally under the weight of her gaze, and Cami maintains her silence as he gets it all out: Bill and his act, the deal that got made, the desperation that had led to Wirt reaching out to a being he never should have trusted.

And the guilt. She swallows when he looks away, her own eyes sliding closed as she lets out a quiet sigh. It had been stupid, but also entirely understandable as far as mistakes go.]

There are people here you can trust—but you have to be careful, Wirt. Anyone who says they can poof you home with their own power is lying, because that’s not how Wonderland works. [With the bevy of creatures and the incredible things they’re capable of trapped here, Cami honestly believes no one being or even group can escape this world by their own choice.]

But I understand why you did it. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one from my world who’s still here too. [It’s a fresh pain she’s learning her way through, although easier for her because the people last left hadn’t been so close.

It only did so much to stave off the sense of loneliness though, even in her case. Not to mention the fear and the anger, and she looks out into the room as she continues on.]

Whoever this Bill is, he took advantage of you. There has to be a way to make sure he doesn't do it again.

[Wirt was expecting this to some degree, but it doesn't make it easier to take. Most of his time recovering has been spent agonizing over how he'll ever face anyone again, and how he's sure he'll crumble under the weight of all the "I told you so"s and "You should have been more careful"s and "Wow you're such an idiot, Wirt. Obviously that was never going to work and you got what you deserved for being so gullible"s. Sure, people might not say so outright but he knows he'll be able to feel it in their words, in the looks they give him, and he certainly feels it now. However, he's felt it since before Cami even got there, so some of it may be self-imposed.]

I know. [He frowns. It feels like such a teenager reaction, but what else can he even say?] ...I know. I should've...it was stupid. I should have been more careful. I'm-- I'm sorry.

[There's very real regret there, even with the kneejerk apologies. Wirt often prides himself on being careful and cautious. He likes to think he's a sensible person, so being caught after such a colossal mistake makes him feel like all of the air has been sucked out of his lungs. It goes against everything his, everything he wants people to think about him. In his head he's very fatalistic about it - obviously there's no coming back from this and everyone really is going to think less of him forever. Sure, Cami says she understands, but she didn't go make a deal with a demon triangle when she realized she was all by herself. The more he thinks about it, the more pathetic he feels.

Wirt carefully turns on his side and curls up, wrapping his arms over his stomach. Cami probably means well - she always does - but he can't help turning it inward. The problem isn't that Bill took advantage of him, as far as Wirt's concerned. The problem is that he fell for it, and that's one problem that deep shame has solved.]

You don't have to worry about that. He won't. ...I'm not stupid enough to fall for it again. Really.

[His words start out firm and stubborn and maybe even a little childish, but then he goes quiet and resigned by the end. He can say he's not stupid enough, but will anyone ever believe that again? Probably not.]

Edited 2015-09-12 08:42 (UTC)

You don't have to apologize to me. [Because while Cami would be lying if she said it didn't hurt a little that Wirt had gone to some psycho demon rather than her, this isn't about her. Clearly Wirt feels like he's let people down, that he's some colossal disappointment because he'd fallen for Bill's scheme. More importantly, he's a smart kid; in retrospect of course it has to seem obvious, and the fact that it didn't in the height of all that emotion has to be just as heavy a weight--one that Wirt no doubt would have difficulty letting go of, even as it crushed him.

She reaches out when he turns, lightly rubbing his arm near his shoulder.] I don't think you were stupid in the first place. You made a bad choice. You were desperate, sad, lonely. You missed your friends, and you wanted to get back to them so much, you let yourself be blinded.

But you're not the first person it's happened to, Wirt, and you definitely won't be the last. Anyone can make that kind of mistake. [And that is why Bill needs to be stopped somehow, even if Cami has no clue as to what might make it possible.] The important thing is that you know not to do it again. And if you do start to feel that way, then please, come find me. If there's something I can do to help you, I will. And if I don't know the answer, believe me. I've got plenty of friends who know things about the supernatural.

[He's tense, and isn't sure he wants to be touched, but as soon as she does he actually eases. As soon as it happens, he realizes why. Ever since he returned to his body, he's kept himself cooped up and spent a lot of time just sleeping and feeling terrible, and avoiding people at all costs. So when she touches his arm, his relief comes from mild surprise that he can be touched at all, that her hand doesn't just pass through him. He's whole again, and he catches himself looking down at his hands.]

I...okay. I will. Sorry. I should have done that in the first place. I just...w-well, you know already. Sorry.

[She literally just said he didn't have to apologize to her, but it's hard to knock himself out of that loop once he's in it. Besides, the insistence that he can always come to her...it helps in some ways, but in others it drags up different guilt he hadn't thought of before - a more hypothetical variety. Cami's so good to him and she's always there for him, but he trusted a demon over her. But even worse - what if it had worked? What if Bill had kept his word and sent him back to the Unknown? It had all been so impulsive and it all happened so fast...not only would he have put more faith in Bill than her, but he almost willingly chose to leave without a word. It's different when they get taken from Wonderland against their will, but Wirt knew what he was trying to do. He wasn't going to even say goodbye, and he might not have even remembered her when he left.

What he almost did never fully sank in until now, and he can actually feel his eyes starting to water. He can't shake the feeling that he can't apologize enough, but he can shake the tears. He reaches up and palms at his eyes, and tries to move on as though he didn't almost become a pathetic puddle just now. He changes the subject slightly.]

U-Um. How did you...did he do anything to you? [He pauses, realizing that maybe that requires some clarification.] When we made the deal, we shook hands and he sort of...he yanked me right out of my body? S-So I wasn't-- I don't know everything he did. It was my body, but I wasn't in there at all. I was floating around like a ghost, and nobody could see or hear me. It was like...like I didn't even exist anymore. I-I didn't even know he ran into you, but he must have if you knew something was wrong with me. Right?

Edited 2015-09-13 01:09 (UTC)

I know. [She doesn't pull away, even as it becomes clear that Wirt's made some sort of other connection in his head. Instead Cami lets him think through whatever thoughts inspire those near tears, which aren't at all pathetic, for the record. He's just a kid, one who had gotten lost, and that sort of thing isn't easy to come back from.

But they would. Cami hadn't known it was happening, so she couldn't stop it--but she could help Wirt recover from it, starting with giving him the reassurance he asks her for.]

You're right, but he didn't do anything to me. [She'd been safe, if disturbed by the antics, and a small frown crosses her lips.] I think it was more like he was trying to push your body to its limits. When I found him, he was in the library...reciting poetry. [And given that she knows the words would leave Wirt cringing, Cami opts not to touch on the subject matter of the verse.

Instead she focuses on what Wirt had experienced, the fact that while Bill had been in possession of his body, he'd been a non-corporeal entity, seemingly unable to affect the world around him.] But in that case, how did you get your body back?

[Wirt groans at that discovery, feeling tired all over again.]

That...that. Sounds about right. He made me eat a bunch of raw meat too, and some plant outside that's been making me sick. [That hasn't been fun.] But, um. I found out that he can't possess me if I'm unconscious-- or if my body's unconscious, I mean, so...I waited him out. He kept me awake for like, about three days? Eventually my body just gave out and I took it back. ...Of course, when that happened I got hit with all of the side effects of everything he'd done to it. I was so exhausted after that that I just face-planted into bed.

[He was so tired that it hadn't even occurred to him in the moment to be afraid of falling asleep, lest Bill come back. Evidently he hadn't though - as tired as Wirt looks, he's definitely gotten a little bit of sleep between bouts of illness. His body's needs had been too strong for even his worst anxiety to argue with.

Now that he's had some sleep though, it's been coming back in spades. Something Cami said earlier finally sinks in and his eyes go wide with horror. His voice actually squeaks, and he finally has a reaction to the thought of a poetry reading that is more typical of him.]

W-Wait. Poetry? ...H-He didn't read any of my poetry, right? Right? [Wirt doesn't wait for an answer before he turns and sits upright to look toward the papers he has taped to his walls, looking for some sign that something is out of place, some sign that Bill tore down some of his poetry to go read to a crowd of who even knows how many people? Everything seems to be in order, but Wirt pushes his hands up past his temples to tangle in his already messy hair.] He was messing around with my clarinet though, a-and I wouldn't put it past him to try and completely ruin my life like that. Oh my god, I'm never going to be able to set foot in there again....

[She grimaces at the mention of uncooked meat and potentially poisonous plants, wondering if Wirt might need to see a doctor in the aftermath of all that torture. For the moment, however, she lets him have his say, taking note of the apparent limitations of Bill’s powers for future reference. The next time something like this happened, she’d know to use sedatives along with the vervain and the holy water.]

That’s pretty understandable—and would also explain why he’d had so much coffee. [Which no doubt added to Wirt’s present misery.

Still, he seemed to shrug it aside once it clicked that there had been a performance of poetry. Cami leans back, startled when Wirt suddenly sits up and starts examining the walls.] I don’t think it was yours, exactly. [Her eyes wander over the pages, but she doesn’t read anything written there for Wirt’s sake.] It was about the world you came from, the Unknown, but it wasn’t anything you would have written about.

[At least not to Cami’s knowledge.]

Wirt, you’re going to be able to go to the library again. You might have to explain what happened to a few people, but believe me; that’s not even close to the oddest thing to have gone on around here.

[It certainly would explain all of that. Bill did a good job pushing Wirt's limits as far as they could possibly go, and Wirt feels weak eve now. However, he doesn't lay back down just yet. Instead, he pulls his legs up to his chest and rests his arms across his knees.]

Yeah, but... [He frowns, and stops for a moment to put his thought together a little more coherently.] ...it wasn't an event or anything. E-Everyone's going to think that's what I'm actually like, and the only way to correct them is being like "Oh, hey guys! That wasn't me! That was the demon triangle I was stupid enough to make a deal with!"

[Just the thought of that conversation has him frozen in place. Of course he wouldn't say it exactly like that, but he has no idea what he would say to prevent someone from writing him off as an idiot. It feels easier to just...not do anything. To never confront it and hope everyone forgets. He doesn't want to have to deal with the mess Bill left behind.

But...he's going to have to, at least a little, and that's what makes him look back up at Cami.]

...What was the poem about? [It occurs to him that he probably looks like he doesn't actually want to know (and to be honest he kind of doesn't) so he pauses and tries to straighten his posture out a little.] I...I should probably know what he said, in case someone asks. Since he was trying to make people think he was me.

“I’d leave out the stupid part, personally.” She leans back on an arm, giving Wirt a small grin because the kid isn’t wrong. He would have to explain himself to whomever Bill had come across, and from the sounds of it the entity had been busy. “But it’s either that, or stay locked in your room until Wonderland either sends you or everyone else home—which means letting Bill continue to control you.”

Because while it won’t be easy for Wirt, his choices are simple. Not preferable either way, but it’s important that he works past this mistake. Bill had already hurt Wirt enough; Cami isn’t going to let Wirt compound it. “I think people might be more understanding than you give them credit for. Plus, you’d be warning them about Bill, so someone else doesn’t make the same mistake.”

Something good could still come out of this, if Wirt lets it. But then he asks about the poem, prompting Cami to sigh quietly. “The thing that stood out most to me was how he talked about you and Greg. He said that you were squandering time with your loved ones, and that you gave into the Beast? And Greg—“ She pauses, considering how much she should really tell Wirt. He’s right though; he needs to be prepared in case people ask. “And Greg died of fright.”

I...I guess so. I never really thought about it like that. [Wirt had been assuming that not having Bill in his body was enough to safely say he wasn't being puppeted any more. But...maybe it didn't have to be so literal. Bill's made him terrified of the consequences, and in that way he's probably doing exactly what Bill wants him to do.

But, is that enough to give him the courage to face everyone? Right now he's not sure.

The content of the poem is horrifyingly familiar though. Cami's right that it isn't a poem he would write, but that doesn't mean he doesn't understand what it was about, and his eyes go wide with fear.]

The Beast? H-He shouldn't-- why does Bill know about the Beast?! Or, well...I guess he said he knew what the Unknown was, so. Maybe he'd know. [It was part of why Wirt had been so eager to believe him in the first place. He's worked himself right back into panic though.] B-But Bill's definitely never met Greg before...he...he said Greg died?

[Over the course of Greg's very short life, Wirt has thought some mean things about his little half-brother, but hearing someone say Greg is going to die, and that a six-year-old will die of fright...it pierces Wirt's heart. He's more worried than ever that they aren't in the same place, that Greg is in the Unknown without him.

There's something else about this that unnerves him too. He hugs his knees, curling in on himself and he can't seem to meet Cami's eyes, but he offers a weak protest anyway.]

I...he's wrong. I won't give in to the Beast. That's dumb; we have to get home...

[Even having Wirt be willing to think the thought is better progress than Cami might have expected when she first came into the room. Like all things it would take time, but she suspects Wirt would eventually grow tired of the isolation—and if she’s wrong, Cami’s all too willing to drag him out herself.

At the present, however, she watches Wirt’s reaction to the contents of the poem; from horror to recognition emotions flit across his face, confused shock as another potential power of Bill’s comes to light.] He might have some form of telepathy. Considering what else he’s capable of, it doesn’t seem beyond the realm of possibility.

[And it would put him in an even better position to take advantage of Wirt, giving him just the right buttons to push, including by proxy. She’s quick to shake her head when the boy asks about his brother.] He said that, but it doesn’t mean it’s happened, or that it’s going to. [Wirt himself asserts as much, but with a lingering note of uncertainty that prompts Cami’s quick agreement. Regardless of the fact that he’d made a deal with Bill, Cami believes that when it comes to protecting Greg, Wirt would do what’s right.]

You’re right. Whatever this Beast is, you’re strong enough to resist him, Wirt. I have faith in you.

[It makes enough sense. If Bill could really read minds, then he would know all of this information. Maybe he even knew it from possessing Wirt's body, though thinking about the logistics of that makes his head hurt, so...he doesn't. He just nods, agreeing with Cami.

There's also the possibility that Bill really can travel through dimensions, and knows what's going to happen to them, but...he's lied before. Who knows what else he's lied about?]

I'm...not entirely sure, actually. What the Beast is, I mean. We've been warned about him ever since we got to the Unknown. The first guy we ran into warned us to beware the Beast...but. I dunno. It's complicated.

[Wirt rubs at the back of his neck and frowns a little. Complicated really sums up most of their time in the Unknown...and yet, it also doesn't. In some ways, that place is a lot simpler than home or Wonderland.]

We wound up at this Tavern and they warned us about the Beast too. They sang this song-- [He doesn't sing it, but recites it the way one might recite a poem.] "You'd better be wise and don't believe his lies, for once your will begins to spoil, he'll turn you to a tree of oil, and use you in his lantern for to burn" ...Whatever that means. B-But the first guy we met, the Woodsman-- he carried a lantern like that? The people in the Tavern said the Beast is the only one who carries the lantern, and he also kind of gave us bad directions that got us more lost than ever? So...I dunno. I dunno who or what the Beast is supposed to be.

[But he knows that becoming oil for the Beast's lantern is...probably a bad thing.]

Edited 2015-09-18 04:52 (UTC)

It almost sounds like a legend. [And only a few short years ago, Cami would have been willing and happy to write it off as a myth and nothing more. But she’s learned far too much since then, not only about Wonderland but her own world, and she’s certain that even if there are aspects of the song that are embellished the story itself is likely rooted in truth.] It may be one of those things you’ll only learn in time.

[Complicated things seemed to fall within those lines.

When he brings up the Woodsman, however, Cami frowns. Part of her almost wants to balk at her instinct, call what Wirt describes far too obvious—but again, lessons learned. She doesn’t voice the bulk of her thoughts, not wanting Wirt to worry any more than he no doubt already does, yet she also can’t leave everything unsaid.]

That’s interesting. If this Woodsman ever shows up here, let me know right away, okay?

[A Woodsman, or a Beast in the guise of a man.]

Yeah. Maybe...

[He frowns a little bit though. Everyone he's talked to sounds convinced that the Beast is real, and that the Beast is something to be feared and avoided at all costs.]

...I don't know if I really want to know though? I'd really rather just get home - all the way home - as soon as possible. I-I'm kind of good with not sticking around long enough to learn the mystery of the Beast.

[Wirt can be curious and inquisitive, but never at the expense of his own life. He's perfectly okay not sticking around longer and leaving the Unknown a little confused about everything. It seems like the safer plan. He's not sure what to make of that frown though. Is he wrong, in assuming it might be the Woodsman? Or is it something else?

He nods obediently though. After all the trouble he got himself into after not going to Cami, he'll gladly do as he's told. That's always easier anyway, so he parrots it back at her, though he glances down as he does. He still feels ashamed of everything that's happened in the last few days.]

...Okay. I'll let you know if he shows up.

I’m sure, although sometimes it helps to know what you’re up against too. [And if she’s right about the Woodsman, then Wirt would definitely need to know those things before he got home. But without anyone else from his world being around, Cami doubts they could find anything even if Wirt would remember it when he eventually did leave. Part of her wishes she could offer something more, advice or reassurance; unfortunately, there’s just too much unknown for it to ring true.

At least he readily agrees to keep her informed. She smiles again, relaxing with the promise.] Good. And you’ll let me know if Bill tries to contact you too. [Since she’s in no way forgotten the original problem to be dealt with. Cami has a few plans of her own, but she also has to be sure Wirt stays safe, particularly while he recovers.] You should probably try and get some more rest. Do you want to try and eat something? I’m not a great cook, but I can definitely do grilled cheese and soup if you’re up for it.

[Wirt nods along because yes, of course. Of course he will. Of course he won't be that stupid again. He's not sure whether it's all of the repetitive motion of nodding or mention of him needing rest, but he can suddenly feel how sick he still is. The weird, uncomfortable adrenaline his anxiety brings is starting to wear off, and he leans back against his headboard and pillows.]

Uhh... [Is he hungry? ...Actually, he's really hungry, he's just been wary of trying. But he hasn't thrown up in a while, so...] I-- I probably should. Actually, that sounds really good...

[Mm...grilled cheese and soup. It's almost like being at home, home sick from school. He feels awful enough that he answers honestly, though he looks up at her after and adds:] Um, thank you. You really don't-- I mean... [But Wirt knows there's no arguing with her now, and he doesn't really want to. He just wants to make himself clear and it's hard under the circumstances.] ...I really appreciate it, Cami.

[It means a lot to him that she would go to the trouble for him, that's all.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You were a child who was made of glass | Closed

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject