entrancelogs | [OPEN] I'm a wizard, and there's magic in the air ♫

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[OPEN] I'm a wizard, and there's magic in the air ♫

Who: Philip the Magnificent (

radiopalkiller) & YOU
Where: The Library & The Network
When: Friday, April 22
Rating: PG-13 for demon deals and raw lizard hearts?
Summary: A physicist and a dark grimoire walk into a bar, aka. "never too late to learn a new hobby, right?"
The Story:

I [ THE LIBRARY ]

Philip sits in his favourite library corner, surrounded by piles and piles of books. Some dark and aged and atmospherically adorned with ominous symbols denoting some more or less profound connection to the arcane arts. Others, not so much. It takes some heavy combing through the shelves, if you're not entirely sure where to start, see. Because him and his own world? About as lacking in any magic touches as you can get.

But it's been years, and he can't say that he hasn't thought about it here and there. Especially can't say that it hasn't been on his mind a lot more, lately. Because there's parts of Wonderland he needs to understand and stat, and he's not sure how far science alone is going to get him. Besides, never too late to learn a new hobby, right?

He flips the last pages of a leather-bound book, and closes it with a sigh. Someone approaching, so he scribbles a few lines into his own notebook, and arches an eyebrow at the visitor. His voice is-- There is no voice per se, only unmoving lips, and the sound of his words in their head.

"Do you realise how many of these rely on verbal incantations? Whatever happened to gesturing emphatically towards the dark forces? It's bloody inconvenient, if you ask me."

II [ THE LIBRARY, A LITTE LATER ]

Practice makes perfect, but somehow he's thinking that he's a long way from perfection to even attempt the exercise, but- hey. Start somewhere, right? Start small. Aim for not burning the library down. And with luck he'll get to feel impressive, and conjure up "a bright green flame, as if conjured directly from the beyond". Uh. All righty then.

...Why bright green flames from the beyond require three lizard hearts and a whole satchel full of herbal weirdness is admittedly entirely beyond him, but that's probably why he's the novice here. He tosses the bleeding little things (thanks, closet) into the bowl with the rest of the stuff, and tries to look more dignified and less like a sous chef frustrated with a particularly odd custom order.

(It doesn't work.)

He cleans his hands, and sprinkles "a handful of red soil" over the bowl, and lights the-- Why conjure up any sort of flame if you've got to light three candles to do it in the first place. Come on, Philip, don't think about it, just do it. He shakes his head, and lights up once, twice, three--

The bowl sizzles, smokes, and goes still with the pop of charred lizard hearts.

The library now vaguely smells of thyme and old gym socks. No blue fire is in sight.

Philip doesn't know what he expected.

III [ NETWORK TEXT, IN THE MEANTIME ]

Reading material wanted: Looking for worlds with magic in books rather than your genes. And I don't mean the metaphorical sort of magic that comes with a good story, I'm aiming for literal fireballs here.

PS.: Not sure my soul's in any marketable condition, but if we've still got any demons around to teach that sort of thing, I'll owe you a beer.

[[ OOC: Both prose and tag spam is welcome, will match format! Philip is a mute telepath, so have a quick look at his info post if you're like 'help why aren't you making words and why is there a voice in my head' ]]

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[Alistair isn't entirely sure who is making the request - he's far more used to talking to people face to face as it were on the thing - but he can't ignore a message like that. When he responds he sounds more than a little worried by the idea.]

That last bit is a joke, right? You're not really planning on making a deal with a demon? That's not a thing you're actually going to do?

Because I can tell you it's a really bad idea and it's not going to get you what you want.

[If it were even possible for people who weren't mages to learn magic. Not that a demon would let that stop it offering to do so as a means to get what it wanted, if one was summoned here.]

[ Philip-- isn't entirely sure if Alistair knows who is making the request, but he wonders if he couldn't expect a different answer if the guy did. Personal annoyance and all that, but when you think about it it was really Alistair who gave him part of the idea in the first place. Might save that nugget of gratitude for later though. Right, well, in any case, he's been expecting that sort of response... ]

Drink, not deal. I'm planning on taking a demon out for a drink. You know, candles, music, maybe some flowers. See where the evening takes us. No pressure.

[It feels weird talking to text but trying to write on the device takes a lot longer than just talking to it. So he'll feel like a weirdo who talks to his mail, it's fine.]

Funny. Really.

[As hilarious as seeing abominations running around the mansion would be he really has to at least try and reassure himself that this is all a joke. Or prepare for the worst. And it does make a decent enough distraction from other things. Demons are at least good for that. But not much else.]

You understand demons are bad, right? They're called demons, not 'slightly troublesome spirits'. They don't do 'no pressure'. They're. Demons. Deeeeemoooonns.

[Yes? OK? Please?]

[ Who knows, maybe at the end of the day the true magic was the friends we definitely didn't make along the way. ]

So I know it was pretty subtle, and I might have gotten the wrong message out of this, but would I be correct in guessing that what you're trying to tell me is that I SHOULDN'T ask demons for advice? I have to check, because you really weren't very clear.

[This is an incoherent sound of frustration and annoyance that is equally unclear when it comes to expressing Alistair's feelings on this whole conversation.]

You're an ass. I've seen what happens when demons start running loose and I don't want that to happen to people here so pardon me if I don't find it funny.

[He knows he's being wound up and should just let it go but. Demons. Just because there's no darkspawn here doesn't mean he needs new fuel for his nightmares.]

You keep saying that. For someone who gave me the idea in the first place you're really not being very supportive. [ Which is a great shock and surprise to everyone involved! ]

Besides, I haven't talked to any demons in months. I'm pretty sure our local population is down to two or three at most, and neither of them do a great deal of running anything right now.

[ See? That was extremely reassuring. ]

I what? That's ridiculous. I'd never suggest someone start talking to demons! You want to know why? [It doesn't matter what you want, shut up.] Because it's a terrible idea.

[What in the world is he even talking... writing, about?]

And- And two or three demons are still bad. [Whatever he's talking about. Local population of demons. There really can't be actual demons living in Wonderland. There's a distinct lack of abominations or people trapped in fantasy lives or animated corp- talking tre-

...Well, demons aren't known for their subtlety once they get into the real world. They're hard to miss. Most demons. Except for some that pass for human, like the one that possessed Uldred.... There really needs to be a demon detector of some kind.]

[ The truth? It wasn't too long ago that a certain demon deal Philip made almost went pretty far south, and deep - very deep - down he knows that the big thing would be to admit that, at the very least, caution is more than warranted. He also knows - and that sentiment is a lot closer to the surface - that he has definitely learned from his mistakes and that he could totally get it right next time, and he'll be damned if he makes it sound otherwise. ]

Don't tell me|

[ Only then he stops. Because if he wants to make sure Alistair knows who he actually is... well, he can think of another way. And normally he'd ask, because he knows how that went last time, but-- He's still practicing. And this is still Alistair.

(Who knows, maybe it won't even work another time.) ]

To be fair it wasn't a suggestion so much as an accusation, [ he says when he thinks he know where he needs to say it to, when he sees where to go with his voice in a way- that's obviously not seeing, but a bit hard to describe otherwise. ] but it was still a good idea. Because if I could actually summon monsters to fight for me rather than against me, that'd come in pretty handy.

[ He bites his lip. Can't wait to hear how that went. ]

[The thud of the device hitting the floor almost drowns out Alistair's yelp. Without any picture it may be hard to interpret the other sounds - the dull thud of his boots against the floor as he wheels about looking for wherever Philip is lurking and the creak of leather as he grabs for his sword - but they're there to tell him exactly how well that little trick was received.

There's a long moment of silence as Alistair puts the pieces together - the conversation he'd just been having, the lack of annoying, head-talking weirdos popping up behind him - and then he's grabbing up the talking box again, scowling so hard it's practically audible.]

You are such an ass! Don't do that!

[It's bad enough having someone talking in his head. Not knowing where they are when they do it is so much worse. Bad enough even to momentarily distract him from the terrible, terrible idea Philip is trying to blame him for.]

Where are you?

[He really hopes the answer is 'just outside your door' as creepy as that would be. If Philip can get in his head from anywhere then, then he's going to be incredibly paranoid from now on. And will definitely have to look into ways to keep people out of his head. Because he is not OK with this.]

Edited 2016-05-15 12:27 (UTC)

[ So! Guess that worked, huh? Philip snorts a laugh and-- wonders if it went about as well when he tried it on Sharon. Jesus, you just had to trip into the sobering thought, did you? He rolls his eyes at himself and- fine, and actually reaches for the comm device again. ]

Hey, it just seemed a bit impersonal to keep typing, when you're going through the trouble of talking to me.

[ And yes, yes, Alistair keeps saying that. Philip is gonna have to start counting inventory at this rate. ]

I'm at the library, so if any of those sounds were you looking under your bed, don't bother. And no, I'm not behind the curtains either.

[ --Should he have given away his location? Eh, he'd peg that sound as annoyed-angry, not murder-angry, he's good to go. Probably. ]

[The library. So on a different floor in a different part of the building. Unless- No, a quick check of his immediate surroundings doesn't turn up the man. So. The library. And still talking in his head. No, he's really not OK with this.]

I hate you.

[Not OK at all. But at least they're back to being 'impersonal' and therefore he feels slightly less uncomfortable - slightly because Philip is still able to get in his head from another floor and he makes a point to try and think extra loud and angry in case the man can pick up on that somehow.

But. But, back to what they were talking about and the further proof that Philip is actually crazy.]

You're actually thinking of learning to summon monsters to fight for you? As well as making deals with demons? Because I thought that's what you did once now you're going to go and do it? Really? That's like... like deciding to go murder someone because you got accused of it once. It's a terrible idea. [How many times does he need to say it?] Really, really, really terrible. And you're going to get yourself and a lot of other people killed if you try it.

[Maybe he's starting to regret not running the man through when he had the chance now.]

[ Much as he'd love to take the chance to rile Alistair up further, he should probably give it a rest. He'll be sure to give it another shot later, but until then... actually he doesn't think serious talk will have a much better effect with what he's trying to do, BUT. ]

Look, I've been here for over five years, I really need a new hobby. The monsters and demons are optional though. I'm thinking of learning magic, and - give me some credit here - I can probably figure out a use for it that doesn't actually get anybody killed.

[ Incredible, he knows. ]

Ass.

[He needs to come up with another insult for Philip. But that one suits him so well.]

You have a weird taste in hobbies. If you don't already have magic then good luck learning it. [Unless there are places where what they call magic is more like templar skills. Something that can be learned. He's not sure he likes that idea. As handy as it would be for everyone to know a bit of healing magic it sounds a little too simple for him to trust. No matter who is promising not to get anyone killed.]

Just promise me if you do start summoning anything you'll warn people. Or tell me and I'll come stand guard.

[Not that he expects that last offer to be accepted. Even though he's never once actually harmed Philip. But he's really hoping there won't actually be any attempts to summon anything and he's just being wound up. Better that than the alternative.]

I also keep bees, but they're pretty low maintenance this time of year, so I've got to fill the rest of my day somehow.

[ Philip marks Alistair's world down as another one in the nature column of magic acquisition, and sighs at the frustratingly short nurture list to its right. Might be worth figuring out if he belongs with any of the other ren faire people he's met lately, just to narrow that pool down. Maybe another time, because-- ]

More to the point, are you actually offering to HELP, or is that just the polite way of saying you'll cut me down before I can get started?

Bees.

[Really? And why? There's not exactly much reason to go for fresh honey in Wonderland. No. He's not asking.]

I'm not offering to help summon anything! But if you're going to try I want to be there so that I can stop it from getting loose and going on a rampage.

[Prooobably without any cutting down of anything that's not a monster. Because he does prefer not to kill people given the choice. So unless Philip is very bad at keeping his secret evil blood mage plan to release demons and monsters into Wonderland secret then that shouldn't be needed.]

And... stop it killing you too.

[Since he does sort of owe the man. A little bit.]

Bees. I'll introduce you sometime.

[ What can he say? They were a really weird gift, from a really weird woman. He'll hang on to the story, for the next time he wants to earn a really weird look from Alistair.

Alistair, who really should've quite while he was ahead, because-- Help, yes, that's about how Philip would've pictured it in that situation, that's- nice, well, no, not quite the right word. Good? Comforting? --There we go, reassuring. Cut down what needs to be cut down, Philip's halfway to some genuine words of appreciation there, but--

Alistair really should've quite while he was ahead. ]

You'd do all that. For me. Wow. I'm even more speechless than usual. You know, I actually think I changed my mind about all of this. Who needs magic when I've got your friendship to count on?

Ha ha. [He really should just quit already. This is going nowhere fast and he's just getting more irritated now. It's like talking to Morrigan but without being desperate for any help available.] I was trying to help.

[And maybe he should push it, just in case they end up with demons running around but what are the chances Philip - who has professed to not having been born with magic - will even be able to summon anything? Anything worse than what Wonderland is already wont to throw at them?]

But fine, summon whatever you like. If it chews your face off I'm going to say I told you so.

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[OPEN] I'm a wizard, and there's magic in the air ♫

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text // permission to possibly creepily headvoice talk over long distance?

voice // go for it!

voice in your head live and in colour;

voice // whelp time to invest in a tin-foil hat

text // pff please you can just toggle those off in the menu

voice // gdi

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