( closed ) back by unpopular demand: me

[shrinkage]

Who: Iris Best, Leonard Snark, Raymond "Human Disaster" Palmer
Where: Len's room
When: After HP event, before Ray's first date with Sarah 〈 /waves hand vaguely 〉
Rating: PG13?
Summary: Ray seeks advice about how to dress up to learn to tango...
The Story:

〈 from the bathroom, raymond appears, striking the most ridiculous of poses.

there is a rose in his teeth. that he speaks around, far too enthusiastically. nobody's saying that drool didn't happen... 〉

Firff foice! 〈 blah better get that rose out: 〉 What do you think?

Comments

[catchacold]

[Talking to Iris is usually interesting, even if Len isn't entirely sure how exactly they ended up here. Sitting on his bed, waiting for Ray to dazzle them.

There's a reason he has a bottle at the ready.]

Think it'd be more dramatic if that rose had thorns.

[This whole outfit might be less painful to look at if it was more painful for Ray.]

Want some?

[This was definitely the cue for him to hold the bottle mentioned above out to Iris.]

Might be here a while.

[demonstrate]

[ iris had been ready to shake her head at len's offer.

then ray stepped out of the bathroom and her fingers wrap around the neck of the bottle. she gives len a glance that perfectly conveys this is going to take a while, yes. in turn, she lifts the tub of popcorn she procured from the closet to offer len. (she believes in quid pro quo.)

ok give her a second to take a sip. mmm. ]

So. [ ukw she's just going to come right out and say it. ] What's with the hat?

[shrinkage]

[ ray's obnoxious obliviousness has transcended from this realm of reality. he grins wide and pulls it from his head to give it a test twirl-- oh ok that didn't work gotta just pick it back up and dust it off... ]

Isn't it great? I was looking up what guys who tango wear and this guy was wearing one, and I just had to have one of my own!

[ he twirls, because he's also not aware that this is not a girl's night out wardrobe montage. and another twirl for funsies. ]

These pants give me a lot of moving room, which is really important.

[catchacold]

Len has taken a handful of popcorn, chewed it, swallowed it and, yeah, he will be reaching to get that bottle back. Thanks, Iris. They need this.]

Moving room.

[Just going to repeat that.]

True. You got enough room in those for you and your ego.

[demonstrate]

[ iris relinquishes the hold she'd been keeping on the bottle, and tips her head to the side.

the fashionista inside of her is dying a little. ]

Moving room ... is important if you're going dancing, but Ray, that hat has got to go.

[ she looks to len for back-up. please be with her on this one. ray, love yourself. ]

[shrinkage]

What?

[ his face falls, but he's not daunted. if there is a problem, yo! he'll solve it. clearly len's just being len. ego? ray doesn't have an ego. psh. len's just jealous that ray looks really fantastic in thi-- ohh. there it is. ego, yep.

ray holds his precious hat to his chest, afraid to ask: ]

What's wrong with it?

[catchacold]

The hat deserves better.

[So fragile. Leonard does roll his eyes at that, mostly because he's not very interested in saving Ray's precious feelings.

Not everyone can look good in a hat, that's just a fact of life.]

You got good hair. Don't cover it up.

[demonstrate]

Right.

[ such good hair. please don't pass out because len gave you a compliment, ray. ]

Besides — [ iris pushes off the bed, attempting to reach out for that hat to pry it away from him. ] You'll be dancing. Tango, if I understood correctly. A hat will keep getting in the way. [ and falling. unless he glued it to his head or something.

and iris is too smart to give him ideas. ]

[shrinkage]

My hair?

[ ray's hand lifts to said hair, and he hears a gruff voice in the back of his conscious grousing be cool, haircut. is this a compliment from leonard? practical application from iris? these make ray's face relax back into an easy grin, and he's nodding along by the time iris is done speaking. her claim on the hat is easily won! one crisis down. ]

It would be nice to worry just about the dancing. And Sarah... OK, here's the second option.

[ team len and iris 1, ray 0. ray's ray doesn't seem to have much of a problem stripping, but it's ok because he's changing only his shirt. also he poses again when he's done :) ]

[catchacold]

[Leonard takes the stripping in stride. This is Ray. At least he doesn't have glitter all over him as he strips. This time. Besides, he's more focused on getting more popcorn, so he can swallow it before the next horrible fashion choice, which comes timely and horribly.]

You really needed Gideon, eh?

[How does an AI have better fashion sense than a person?]

If you wanna show off your cleavage, you really gotta wear a push-up bra.

[demonstrate]

[ iris is going to plop back down on the foot of the bed and hope len passes her some more of that drink. it's possible she doesn't mask the cringing as well as she'd like. ] Why don't you tell us what Sarah's like? Then we can see what outfit might fit best.

[ 'cause hey, you never know.

maybe this lovely sarah person would find that shirt ... endearing... ]

[shrinkage]

[ ok fine but he's going to change again while he talks because this next shirt is SURE TO BE THE ONE. also his scowl is going to stick on len for a bit because hdu his cleavage needs no pushing. ]

Oh-- here, uhh this is what she said she's wearing... [ ray hands over his device to show the photo of sarah in her pretty swishy red dress before pulling the cleavage express off. ]

She's incredible. Funny, and smart, and adventurous. I mean, when she arrived and we talked? She was so self-possessed and witty about waking up in another dimension-- oh! And when I fessed up about being overgrown she came right up to keep me company. [ small smile. ] She likes my hair, too.

[ another pose: how about this one huh? huh? pretty cunning, ain't it? ]

[catchacold]

[Leonard sees Iris' will slowly breaking and so he heroically hands the bottle back over to her. He only spares the photo Ray is showing off a few seconds before leaning back against the wall.]

That looks almost normal.

[His expectations have really lowered his standards for what counts as normal.]

Unless it says juicy on your ass or something.

[demonstrate]

[ leonard snart, her hero.

iris takes another sip, this time more generously, and considers how to approach the situation. it seems like ray has his heart set on a certain kind of look. she pays more attention to sarah's dress than len does, and knows that the woman will look banging.

this is a crisis. ]

Of course it doesn't say juicy on his ass or anywhere. [ beat. ]

It doesn't, right?

[shrinkage]

No!

[ somebody tell ray there's no inconspicuous way to check out his own ass-- especially not with how he's pushing it out and craning to take a look. ]

And if you don't like my options, maybe you should pull something from the closet...

[catchacold]

Gotta love that you feel the need to check.

[No way was he going to pass that without a comment. He's not feeling all that gracious.

However, he ever so gentlemanly gestures to the closet with a mock bow of his head toward Iris.]

After you.

[demonstrate]

[ iris bows her head in acknowledgement. thank you, sir len.

she closes one eye, studying ray with the other. ] Okay! So, I like that you want to match Sarah's dress, but keep in mind you don't have to wear red to complement her outfit. Colors that go well with red are charcoal and black.

[ iris disappears into the closet for a minute or five. when she returns, it's with this. ray is ray palmer. he's in suits a lot. she's curious to see what a marriage between dressy and casual will look like. ] Let's start with something simple. Just to see how the colors fit on you.

[shrinkage]

[ a man that wears his heart on his sleeve cannot hide the way his face falls. but he can reassert his can-do attitude with a deep breath and a nod. nobody ever said ray palmer wasn't a team player!

(somebody probably did. because he's really not.) ]

Sounds good. Ooh, this is soft.

[ time to strip again! ]

[catchacold]

I'd be thinking about selling tickets to this, if this place had an economy.

[Hard to scam people when money is worth nothing. He's not about to offer up Ray Palmer's strip show if there's nothing in it for him.]

[demonstrate]

[ right. about the stripping. iris looks up at the ceiling and bites back a smile every time. ray and social cues, man.

it's not until ray is fully clothed that she steps forward again, hands smoothing down the front of his blazer.

to len: ] You'd be doing a lot more if this place had an economy.

[ to ray: ] You're miserable, aren't you? [ the suit looks good, but a happy ray is best. ]

[shrinkage]

What?

[ ray your voice is starting to sound like a chipmunk, buddy. ]

No-- of course not. This is great!

probably some time after they decided on an outfit?

[catchacold]

[Leaning back against the wall, Leonard is actually sitting on the floor, even though his bed, desk and chair are right there. He's working on his gun, half-empty bottle next to him, only just looking up when he hears tiny Ray come in.]

You didn't tell me you're dating.

[Not that there's any obligation, but still. Worth pointing out.]

i will always follow your lead tbh (also hello again would you prefer to handwave this one?)

[shrinkage]

I wasn't!

[ for the first time, ray's voice doesn't project from a device despite his miniature stature. seems like his new project's working just fine. his little feet carry him slowly across the floor in the direction of len and his tinkering -- sometimes it just feels nicer to stay small. ]

I mean, not really. I was still with Kendra, and-- hang on. Why would you care?

[ does not compute! ]