catchacold: :( (overcome)
Leonard Snart | Captain Cold ([personal profile] catchacold) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs2017-01-23 08:45 pm

[closed] Is there any just cause for feeling like this?

Who: Leonard Snart & Mick Rory
Where: Outside, near burned trees.
When: Right after this.
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight

I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don't see an easy way to get out of this
The Story:

Finding Mick isn't exactly a difficult task. Not only does Leonard have hints, he also has a nose and he has long since trained the instinct of walking towards the smell of something burning instead of the other way. By the time he is among burned trees, he has his hands in his pocket and his face doesn't give much away, at least to the untrained eye.

The snow crunches under his boots and the memories associated with that come unbidden. His chest hurts, from nothing other than emotions. Pain that he's kept bottled up for months now, today forced to the surface. It's no wonder that when he actually speaks, his voice breaks.

boilover: (heh get it?)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)

Mick pressed the trigger again and unleash a torrent of fire on a poor little oak tree not far from him because it's easier to focus all that hurt and pain on something easy. Something that doesn't feel. He's hurting and he's angry, he hates himself so much right now for caving and saying any of that. What was he thinking?

It was clear that he'd been out here for a while, several trees were just burn husks now and there were many empty bottles laying around... which might account for all this sudden honesty on a public game of word association. He can't deal with Leonard right now, can't even look at him. It's too much. He lowered his gun instead and watched the tree burn slowly.
boilover: (anyway back to it)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
It takes a while for Mick to even be able to turn around because it's a lot, he didn't want to have this confrontation, not until he had more details but Rip was terrible and Ray was... Ray but more helpful admittedly. He still didn't have all the pieces, it still didn't make sense to him. It was like reading a summary to an episode, it was brief and yet probably didn't come close to see it, experiencing it, understanding it. He pulled his goggles up so he could see clearly and watched the tree still, focusing on it.

"I ain't gonna ask why you didn't tell me." Communication. It was a failing between them. Besides, given the way they are? He didn't expect it. He was so mad at Snart, why would he have told him? "But I am gonna ask that what I ask you next, you're honest with me. Cause if you ain't gonna be honest with me, we ain't gonna do this. Got it?"

The stakes were there. Set out plainly for once.
boilover: (people always hurt my feels)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
"Were we friends by the end?"

He turned to look at him and it was hard but he met his eyes and felt an unpleasant deep burn in his chest. Was he friends or at least close to friends or did Leonard -- his friend for decades, the person he had been with the longest and meant the most to him, someone he loved more than anyone -- did he die with Mick hating him? Did they never make up in that short gap of time?

Was that all that remained from all those years? One stupid bitter fight that just escalated and escalated until one of them died and neither had anything? He didn't want that. He hated it.

"Did you die with me hating you?"
boilover: (i prefer action personally - like ninjas)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Mick was silent for a while before he looked down, away from Leonard.

"Dunno if that makes it worse or better." Means it's gonna hurt more. It means that the moment he leaves here, he gets brainwashed, he almost kills Leonard, goes 'almost' back to normal and then loses his only friend. Was there any point leaving? Was there anything good to come from this?

"You idiot." Mick huffed and didn't look at him again because it hurt and he was a fucking sissy wussy or anything but his eyes kept burning and he wasn't gonna actually shed a fucking tear over this. Not because he was 'too manly', he just wasn't a crier. He didn't do that. He didn't cry. He didn't even cry when he lost his parents. He got angry. He sucked in a deep, sharp breath and spun around swiftly, launching a solid punch at the tree. The sound was not pretty because the tree was very solid and Mick put a lot of force into it. God, it hurt like hell. "You fucking idiot! Why the hell would you do that? Are you insane?! If anyone was supposed to die -- just. No, that wasn't how it should be. Not. You."
boilover: (they hurt)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
He let Leonard take his hand and look at it without flinching or snapping, he just growled lightly, like an injured dog, unsure who to trust, teeth barred just in case. He felt Leonard feel his hand and winced, it hurt like a bitch but it felt good. It kept him grounded. Pain always did. He was so tense, uneasy, he had no idea what to do about any of this. It wasn't a future he ever wanted and he knew he couldn't change it.

He turned his hand suddenly and held Leonard's in his own tight grip, his hands warm and rough, calloused and burn slightly. "So." He met his eyes, no matter how hard it was. "What do I do without you?"
boilover: (except me)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
"Can't." Mick says it almost right away with an unsettling amount of certainty. He knows he's being stupid, he's been alone before. That year they were apart, he survived just fine. He wasn't stupid, he was just emotional. He knew his friend was going to die and what the hell was he supposed to do? "I need you. Why can't you ever get that through your head?"

He let go of Leonard's hand and shook his head, moving away from Leonard to give them both the space they needed. "This is the thing though, isn't it? Like 2046. No, hold up, don't get pissy." He holds his hand up just to prevent that. "You could have just said you didn't like it. I was waiting for you to say it but you didn't and it became like a dumb contest. I wasn't gonna say anything until you said something and I started making it worse and worse like I do. Then you said the wrong something." And no, he wasn't looking to rehash this old fight, he just wanted to use it as an example because it was a pretty important thing, no matter how it went. He turned to Leonard and met his eyes, the hurt obvious still. "And I should have just said from the start 'if you hate it this much, let's go' because I was never going to stay somewhere without you. Never."

And he knew he got petty and stupid, he waited for Leonard to just be honest because he was done with being manipulated in that subtle way and he shouldn't have baited it. Leonard struggled with this shit and Mick made it a thousand times worse. Of course it was going to blow up in his face. "You didn't have to be my boss, you could have just been my friend and been honest. Straight up. Cause I don't have anything without you, I never did and you know that. Why would I want a criminal paradise if I didn't have you."

Rubbing at his eyes, he huffed a little. "I wasted the last God damn months of your life in this stupid argument. And it is a stupid argument and if we'd just fucking talked, you'd never have left me! But we were too fucking stubborn."
boilover: (sends me to sleep)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
"It still hurts."

Mick is going to lie, of course it hurts. His friend left him to die, he caused him to get fucking brainwashed and he knew that it was doomed to happen, it wouldn't go away. Leonard screwed him over but he didn't do much better either, he had no moral high ground but he was still wounded by it. He wasn't just going to get over it but -- well, same page.

Truth be told, he missed it. When it was easier, when it made sense, just him and Leonard. No team, no heroes, no grand destiny. He just wanted this for however long he could have it. "But it hurts all the same doing this shit all the time." He walked over to where he'd been sitting before and he dropped down, picking up his discarded bottle and holding it with his least damaged hand. He wished he could just say 'I miss you' but the words just don't come out.
boilover: (fortunately I'm kinky)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
"Free booze is pretty heavenly but we both know we're gong to hell." Mick smiled playfully but that joke? It wasn't quite as funny now. It hit him where it hurt. Mick slipped his hand into his pocket and gently pulled out the ring he got at Christmas. Yep, he had it and yeah, he carried it around on his person all the time. He looked at it, rolling it between his fingers, a small look of ease on his face. "So, tell me the truth, that beating you took when we first met here? It wasn't the first time I kicked your ass over that, huh?"
boilover: (Default)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
"I wasn't gonna break your precious face until I was sure it was you, princess. I'm not wasting my strength on a fake or a lie. I didn't know what this shit was." Mick defended, pulling a face as he look over at Leonard, a slight smile there. Well, that was the closest they got to enjoying being around each other these days. It was almost close to normal. Almost.

It wasn't like everything else would go away but was it so much to ask that they just shoved it aside for once?

"I think two beatings should cover it." Mick nodded his head a little. Whatever. If it got over it, it got over it. And for what he suffered? Seemed fair. The Chronos stuff was just a big future question mark. "We gonna call it even or what? You got any objections? Input?"
boilover: (it's okay though because i forgave them)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
"Yeah. Ditto."

Mick grabbed one of his beers and rolled it along the ground until it hit Leonard's foot. Well, they were out here, they may as well be drinking to get through this shit. "Though in future? Any more shock reveals or surprises? Tell. Me. Now. Cause seriously, if I have to hear another piece of my future from a kid, I will beat your ass so hard, you won't be walking." Mick warned with an edge of playfulness to just try and keep some harmony in there. He didn't want to set them off again. He tilted his beer in Leonard's direction. "Have a kid holding onto my arm crying and telling me you died? Not my idea of a picnic."
boilover: (i hate feelings)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
"Of course." Mick took a long gulp of his drink as he tried to get himself back up to his earlier state, feelings had made him feel awful and he didn't like it. He wanted them all to just go away already. He took a few moments, fingers playing around with the ring in his palm as he looked down at the scorched ground and tried to muster up the ... courage? He guessed.

"Look, I know we don't do touchy feely and you probably don't care about this whole emotional thing but we had a lot of fun together, you and me. And if you gotta go out, I hope you went out with me there. In some way or another. Cause you and me? We're partners. And we fucked up, yeah but ... you're--you're, you know, you're... important to me." He got it out finally, spitting the words out. Feelings. Fuck them. "So. Yeah. Partners."
boilover: (or I'd be very heartbroken)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
"You shouldn't have, you dumb punk." Mick shook his head slowly, not feeling great about that but the gesture was touching. The idea of that little, scrawny kid he defended saving a guy like him? It still proved to be an entertaining thought in it's own unique way. "You didn't need to die for me to know you'd save my ass. I always knew. You saved my ass more than that. Constantly. You know what a fuck up I am."

He idly picked at the label of his beer bottle. "You've always been my hero, dumbass."
boilover: (sends me to sleep)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-23 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
"Very but you knew that." Mick laughed a little because yeah, he was pretty drunk. No wonder he was all gross and emotional, he had way too many beers. He watched Leonard get closer and he tilts his head back a little, curious what he was going to do. He didn't what to expect. The closer he got, the more he found himself felling into this old, stupid, fond spell of theirs.

He missed this. He missed his partner.

"Forgiven." Mick leaned forward and placed a hand on the back of Leonard's head and part of his neck, careful with his movements, reading Leonard's expressions because touch was a dodgy subject but Mick knew his signs well. He knew what he was doing. He leaned in and rested their foreheads together, taking a moment to get properly close. "You forgive me?"
boilover: (fortunately I'm kinky)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-25 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
"Oh yeah, could be worse." Mick stayed like he was for a moment before letting go of Leonard and slumping back against the tree, to lazy to get back up. to be fair, he had a lot of beers and he was so chill at this point, his legs would probably never want to work. He picked up his drink and downed what remained of it before reaching out, snagging Leonard's shirt before he could properly retreat and looking him in the eyes.

This was his best friend. His soon to be dead best friend. He didn't want to not say anything he'd wished he'd said, especially when he wasn't sober.

"I love you, man."
boilover: (sends me to sleep)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-25 02:11 pm (UTC)(link)
"But then I'd have to move." Mick hummed a little and slowly finished his beer, looking over at the mansion. He was freezing his ass off earlier, hence the fires but now, he was mostly pretty drunk. That left him warm and tingly. Though his ass was getting wet from the snow. Hmm. Mick groaned and forced himself upright... it took a few tries, no shock there, given the sheer amount of empty bottles lying around here. "I'm not sentimental. I don't do feelings." And, in the very same breath, he added. "I just want you to know how I feel cause I may not get many chances and we're friends. Friends share."
boilover: (but sometimes just leave things to burn)

[personal profile] boilover 2017-01-25 02:56 pm (UTC)(link)
"I always remember. Name me one time the next day I didn't remember. I even remember that night I sang." Ah that night they hit up a karaoke bar and Mick got too drunk and too confident. He gripped onto Leonard and, together with a lot of stumbling, they managed to get to the mansion. It wasn't a long trek, just not easy when one of the parties is pretty drunk like this.

"You should know me by now. No matter how bad it gets, I remember. Like an -- what's the animal that doesn't forget? It is a elephant or a snake?" He can't quite remember. "I'm one of those."