entrancelogs | [closed] if you must die, sweetheart,

I know.

( And all he wants is to stop it from happening again, to stop this endless cycle of Elena being broken and opened up for her blood or locked away in a coffin for years upon years.

It's why it's not worth it to do any more than this (and it's hardly worth it to do this either). Fitz already knows what he's done wrong, but Damon couldn't not do anything. He pulls back, letting his hands fall down again and then exiting the way he came. )

[As he leaves, Fitz at first doubles over, trembling. He feels nauseous from fright, guts churning unpleasantly. But he vocalizes a small sound, the last gasp of rapidly fleeing courage.]

Wait--

[He shouldn't do this. He shouldn't try to draw out this exchange any longer than necessary. But even now, he can't shut out the questions that have been driving him mad for months.]

I have to know -- Were you trying to help?

( Damon hesitates, stopping at the question, before he turns to look back at Fitz. He can't say he has any idea what Fitz is talking about. Maybe he should, but he's almost two hundred years old, and he's done plenty of terrible things. Trying to help doesn't generally sound like him. )

Was I trying to help when?

Last week -- when everything was.

[He shifts, pulling himself back upright.]

Well. the way it was.

Did you use your abilities to help people?

[Is there anything good in him?]

[ Damon doesn't know why it matters. He's not good. He never claims to be, and he always has trouble admitting to what he does right. Or good. To anyone. He healed Lucifer, and Lucifer would have died otherwise, but Damon doesn't mention that. ]

I tried to save my girl, and I failed.

I didn't do anything else after that.

[ Damon could not pull himself away from Elena to help anyone else, to do anything else, and he has no regrets when it comes to that. She was terrified. He was switched with his mirror once. ]

Your blood can heal.

[It seems gauche to suggest something so common to Klaus. But doesn't Damon know Peter? Why isn't Peter allowed to benefit in the same ways that Fitz did during the last event? Klaus kept him alive while Peter was scraping along half-dead.]

Have you ever considered its applications during emergencies?

Gee. No.

That has never occurred to me before at all, and I absolutely have never used it like that. [ Except where he has, but what is admitting that. and why the hell would he? ] My eyes have been open. Thank you, portal-creator who is responsible for letting all the mirrors come over and murder people on this side.

[ Can you hear the sarcasm in his voice, Fitz?

Cause it's dripping on every single word, and now he's done with this conversation, turning around and leaving the way he came. He can't say he gives a shit what Fitz thinks about him as long as he's still scared enough to not be a threat to someone he loves. ]

Iris can't help the faint smirk in reply.

Clementine is her own girl. Iris can't tell her what to do any more than Joe could tell Iris what to do. For the most part. She didn't become a cop because he wouldn't let her, but if this event has taught her anything, it's that her journalism has those kinds of instincts. She likes to think Joe taught her how to be a cop, regardless. Piecing together information, protecting those who need it... it's in her blood.

She glances toward Barry at the question, her demeanor sobering once more.

"Not much of a change," she admits. It worries her that his speedster healing hasn't kicked in. It's only made her realize how much they've counted on these things, as though Barry is infallible because he's the Flash. And he's not. "But I think there's less pain."

"He.. would not be inclined to help," Regis tells Damon with a smile that is slightly grim around the edges. His conversation with his mirror, as brief as it had been, would not be one that he would soon forget... and he has his own interests in getting back to the Real side as quickly as possible.

"In fact, I believe that he would not hesitate to utterly destroy my reputation on the other side, so trust me when I say that I am just as eager to return as you are."

Regis could do a lot of damage on his own, if he lost control. He shudders to think of what a version of him with a skewed moral compass would be capable of.

"He does not have the same regard for life as I do, and I don't think he would find anything wrong in taking it without remorse. Just as I once did."

"A lot of people think that, but really it's the red meat that'll kill you."

He returns the wave, already assessing his pajama buddy's body language. Are you sleeping okay, hero friend?

"It's going as well as can be expected. This one's a lot harder. How the hell are you figuring out who to even go after?"

The urge to back further away is strong, but something much stronger has taken hold of her. It keeps her in place, the sound of his voice a rope that moors her as she threatens to drift away. Her eyes fill and her throat tightens, and she finds that she can't answer him.

Not at first.

Not right away.

When she does find her voice, she only has one question. It's nothing she would've asked before today, but now she must know.

"Did you know?"

Did he know what Freya's mirror planned to do?

"Good. Pain's the worst part, especially when it's someone you care about feeling it and you can't do shit about it," Clementine says quietly and then she shakes her head, moving to set the sandwiches and drinks up on the coffee table in front of the couch. She has a feeling Iris needs sleep more than she needs coffee.

Sleep's just not likely to come to her when Barry's over there in pain and injured.

She tugs Iris' arm lightly and then sinks on to the couch.

"How are you?"

Damon can't help but think back to when Klaus in werewolf form was unleashed upon the mansion only days ago. Regis is incredibly old and incredibly powerful, and the mansion would really be fucked if it's what his mirror wants to do. He's got enough responsibility lying on the people around him as it is so Damon nods and then slides a hand behind his neck with a grimace because Elena's still over there

"Fuck. Yeah, we need to get over there."

He releases a low breath, licking his lips.

"We could try my brother..."

Damon thinks Stefan might have the best chance of forcing his mirror to look in a mirror if that's the case. He's not sure he knows anyone who could try to take out Regis' mirror though except Regis himself which is not really doable.

"You eat a lot of red meat?"

Pfft, Peter is totally find all the time! Especially when he's Spider-man, it's part of why he likes being Spider-man so much, because he doesn't have to be Peter even though they're sort of the same.

"Mostly I'm listening for people yelling or fighting... or sneaking around with something big. I don't think all mirrors need to be fought, but definitely the ones causing trouble."

It's not easy figuring out which is which though at all.

She doesn't have to back further away. Damon stands up, pulls back like- like something's struck him deep within past all the- past all of it.

"What?"

She is right to ask it, is't she? After everything that has happened with the mirrors, after everything said about mirrors, after all of the terrible things she has gone through because of them, and he still can't stop it. He would have come over when his real was taken out of the equation. He would have come over and had his neck snapped again if he wasn't already down for the count. It doesn't matter his emotions are off. He's torn up from the inside out by a siren.

He would have.

"No. No. Elena, no. I would never-"

He steps back. Searches for something that never comes.

"I would have told you. I would have been here." If he knew, if he only knew.

Her jaw trembles, but Elena forces herself to not look away. Like she'll be able to tell if he's lying if she just looks hard enough, searches thoroughly enough. She wants to be able to study him with only her mind at the forefront. It would give her a logical conclusion, not an emotional one. Just because he feels like Damon doesn't mean that he is. Does it?

She's taken it for truth that the Queen creates the mirrors, but how could she create something this real?

"Why?"

It's a simple question that carries such heavy context. Why would he have come? Why would she believe him? Why does he care if he can't?

"You've turned it all off." Can Mirrors do that? Elena's shoulders tense, even as his vehemency reaches her. She can be so weak; she hates that sometimes. "You don't remember. So why?"

The mansion would indeed be in trouble, but Regis got the impression from his mirror that he didn't want to draw too much attention to himself. At least, not yet. It worries him, but that concern is for the future, and he has dealt with such poor reputations before now.

"Your brother?" Despite knowing them both, and in a peculiar twist of dramatic irony, Regis has no awareness of the relation between Damon and Stefan Salvatore. He had come close to the knowledge, recently, though Stefan had declined to speak about his brother after thinking about it.

"Where might we find him?"

Damon shakes his head as he watches her, and there's an apology in his own gaze deep down, deep down where there's some part of him still capable of- still capable of something that the siren tried to tear out of him. He hates seeing her so afraid, and he cannot blame her for it regardless. Logic, logic says she should be afraid of him, and isn't he capable of terrible things?

Doesn't he know they're there without limits? Except there were.

There were limits.

"I had no control. My memories were carved out. The meaning behind them was severed from me. I was not allowed to understand."

All of it.

His head is a mess. She doesn't have to know the reasons why to understand. He does not want her to have to carry it on top of what has already happened this week. Carry knowing what occurs after Damon steps through the armory. He's the proof of it. He's the evidence of the question his real has been asking.

"When I held on to this, I felt these flickers of warmth and light. I could- I could fight. I don't go anywhere without it." He keeps it on him still like it will save him from the Queen's influence as well. "When I look through the mirror, when I talk to you, I feel it too. This- this is stronger than the Queen. It's stronger than Wonderland and Mirrors. It's stronger than anything, Elena. I would sooner die than hurt you."

And he knows Hell waits for him if he does.

Damon hasn't talked much about his brother, because his brother doesn't have his memories and his brother is definitely (absolutely) better without Damon in his life. It's one thing that got honed in on him over and over again through his last year in Mystic Falls. Stefan was happier, healthier, and more stable when Damon wasn't around to drag him down.

"I know where Stefan's room is, but with the whole mansion gone to hell, there's no telling if he's even in there."

He still makes a direct line in that direction. It's not far from Damon's own room.

"Stefan--?"

The faint tone of surprise is clear, and goes far beyond a simple reaction to the name itself. How could he have been so dense to not realise before now that the two of them were related.

"I.. believe I might know him," he continues, falling into quick step beside Damon. "But the only time he mentioned a brother, he was entirely reluctant to speak of him."

To the point of not mentioning his name at all.

Damon turns to look back at Regis when he speaks with familiarity. He swallows then abruptly, glancing ahead. Entirely reluctant to speak about Damon. Well, maybe he finally made the right decision for his brother. Not just heading into an armory so Stefan wouldn't have to, so Stefan could have the life he wanted, but just- just staying out of his life all together now.

He'd tried for a long time to help him, to accept whoever he ended up being in Wonderland without those memories, but-

"Sounds like Stefan," he says quietly, "and he doesn't even have all his memories to remember all the reasons why he wouldn't want to claim me."

Regis is quite easily as perceptive as Damon believes himself to be, and the young man's delicate current state makes him easier to read than usual. He wonders, briefly, if he should not have said anything at all, but the words had tripped out of his mouth before he had been able to have second thoughts about it.

He can't take it back, but he puts one arm gently around Damon's shoulders while they walk.

"If you care about him, Damon, do not give up on him."

There's not much that would pull Iris away from Barry's side, but Clementine's tiny hand is one of the few exceptions. She follows its tug and sinks down onto the couch beside her. After a moment of contemplation, she answers with honesty.

"Keeping my head above water."

Sometimes that's all you can really do. There's no denying things are really crappy right now from all sides, and the best that Iris can achieve on a given day is just grit your teeth and bear through it.

"How about you?"

Damon breathes in sharp at the sudden touch despite how gentle it is. His mouth parts and then shuts again as he walks forward.

"I haven't, but his memories were stolen back in our world, and there's not much I can do to change that. Hell, he doesn't want to change it, and I can't blame him. I've tried helping him in Wonderland anyway. He's still my little brother, but-" He shrugs slightly. His shoulders are tense. "Believe me, his life's better without all the baggage that comes with being a Salvatore."

His life's better without Damon in it.

He stops abruptly in front of the door to the right room, but one quick look inside, shows the mirrors in here have been shattered too.

Clementine tightens her hold on her and then nods, appreciating the honesty. It's not always easy. Not everyone can give it, and she gets it, but she wouldn't have believed her if she said she was good or fine. It's impossible to be when someone she loves so much is so hurt.

"I'm okay."

There's a pause.

"Mirrors are just really shitty. Every time they come around, Wonderland ends up messy."

[closed] if you must die, sweetheart,

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hopefully special enough that tags this late are all right? :O

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OF COURSE the most special .-.

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