entrancelogs | It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you!

Entry tags:

It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but the very nature of 'torture' tends to be accompanied by quite a bit of anger, in my case.

[So infurtation still stands, in his very important opinion.]

Feel free to take a look, if you wish. I'd rather you see it than nearly anyone else here.

Edited 2017-11-27 02:04 (UTC)

Well, I haven't quite hit that number. Though apparently I die back home. I got to watch that little incident thanks to the Detective's insightful future memories.

[He seems perturbed by all of that as well, though it certainly made a few other important things come out. Like the whole love thing.

Why else would he so eagerly die for this woman, then beg his Father to protect her? It made sense, really.]

Terrifying, actually. [He pauses, furrowing his brow.] But in an exciting way?

It's really fun how this Event's been terrible on every level, right? Not only are we forced to blab, but we've also got those worst memories running in the background.

( But that's one helluva way to learn about what happens in the future-

Elena found out that way. He should have told her himself before Wonderland forced him to. He's not sure he could get the words out.

He smirks. )

The devil's terrified? That says something about love... or about you. Both probably.

( Damon grimaces. He remembers when Regis told him about what had happened. It's not surprising that's what this world chose to show him.

It's not like they forget. )

It's like Hell Theater in Wonderland. Everyone gets a front row ticket to reliving the worst part of their own and everyone else's lives.

Why I'm told many end up with issues from such things.

[Not that he knows much about it. Just what he's heard, and seen in a few.]

Understandable I've been there once, but the truth is I'm not much of one to attend clubs and such.

"I might have to work on nailing down 'you' before I'm ready to establish the rest," they joke. What's even "their" imperfection, and what's just a narrative function that avatar had to fulfill? If they can be replicated down to the last memory and mannerism, then those imperfections... what's even yours at all?

"You've got a bit of a head start on me, Frisk, but that isn't something to feel bad about. It's the opposite, in fact." It's the warm moment of a sincere smile, it's the switch to toying with the hems of your sleeves instead of picking scabs open. It's a SOUL that's still whole and radiant and unblemished, despite everything. "You shouldn't have to feel like you can't be secure in something until everyone else is. You should be able to celebrate your successes without feeling guilty that you're celebrating yourself."

Why, after all, wouldn't Frisk be worth celebrating? The crowded red wagon that had been brought to a padded room months and months ago had been full of those wonderful, beloved things, hadn't it? Gifts from people who taught them that it was a mistake to hate humanity. A copy of a beloved DVD. A package of twizzlers. Soda (which isn't sickly liquid at all, it turns out) poured into a glass and garnished with a curly straw, because cans can have jagged metal edges. The supplies needed to draw and write, to produce more of the creative works that had been painted on the walls with dear friends, to bring home more things to make their side of the room uniquely theirs.

Bandages. The Rainbow Connection plucked out on ukulele strings. Rolling a human character for DD&MD. (Putting up with the least creative member of this wretched trio of determined kids drawing a stupid immature furry fancharacter for them, because it's no fun if they aren't represented too, and look, one of their ears has a heart-shaped mark.)

"I can't... necessarily promise that I know that, Frisk. I have a lot of catching up to do before I reach where you are." They were never quite the example who shows how it's supposed to be done. Not too surprising that the Shittier Knockoff of Frisk would be a bit behind them on the stairway to self-actualization, right? Maybe that's inescapable narrative function, too. Maybe they're just being bitter. They kind of do that a lot. "I haven't grasped any of these ideas about - that maybe loving can be a bad thing. I haven't made sense of what happened like everyone did. I'm starting at a bit of a lower bar, but... if you start at the bottom, at least it isn't hard to figure out which direction you need to go."

Can't stand still forever. A strange voice starts insisting you're the future of... the future of something if you try to lie in bed and ignore that box of assorted shoes.

Maybe they can't be better, but they can be... less worse. Maybe they can't understand themself, let alone accept themself, but... "No matter where I stand, I know, at least, that my life is less hollow with you in it."

( as it is accompanied in his. he certainly has a point: anger plays its part.

it can be useful. in this moment, however... he sees how heavily it, and the sorrow and anguish, weighs on lucifer's mind. he also feels a deep pang of warmth at the offer; to be so trusted and regarded.

klaus downs his drink. ) As much as I'm tempted, I don't believe I'll choose to witness any more than what you've chosen to confide. ( he trusts lucifer too. klaus turns towards him and reaches out to clap a hand on his shoulder. ) I also do not relish the notion of Wonderland being paid its tax in full.

What do you say we take our minds off it?

[Applied physics, huh? They think about blueprints in a secret lab, and a broken machine. They think about how Sans knew how to build a DT Extractor. They think about how Sans knew about the Amalgamates and DT even when Alphys thought she had to hide this from everyone.

...Determination. Is that chemistry? Biology? Physics? Engineering? They'd kind of thought that it was magic, not science. They think it would be kind of foolish to admit to being that clueless.]

You're a scientist, aren't you?

[You can't go admitting you don't know a thing to a genius. Scientists are, like... doctors. Dr. Alphys, Dr. ...Aster? Dr. Sans?? Oh my god, he's Dr. Sans and they've never thought about that at all.]

How come you weren't the royal scientist? You're more qualified than Alphys, right? You just... stopped building stuff.

Is science... not fun anymore?

[Maybe that's an unfair question to ask. They're - they're good at digging into the bones of the world. They know hidden monologues about someone else, and how they're supposed to be able to connect the dots between a drawing and illegible handwriting and filenames. If they focused a little harder, they could probably remember all the foggy parts, right?

Yes. Yes they can.

Frisk wanted to find Wonderland's core. Its CORE. Why? Because Chara taught them how to crack open the bones of the world. Because Chara's SPELL filled their head with those filenames and flags and Fun values, and lurking deep within those lines of text was...

The answer comes, and they can sort of see how it might be possible for science to suddenly not look so fun anymore.]

Is this another painful jag of someone else's expectations, foisted across their neck, a throat just parallel enough to be their own? Is this wanting them to be something they don't want to be? The future of humans and monsters, the demon that comes when people call its name, his best friend, the increase of a number, something that isn't really human and therefore just pretending to be one, someone who won't EVER be happy...a long, long list of things people keep telling Chara they are, and not enough asking who Chara wants to be.

Is wanting them to be okay, an acceptable version of okay that isn't just moldering in the dirt, another hurtful expectation they won't ever be able to separate themself from?

"Do you think someday you can get there?" To...wherever there is? To a point where they can be a little more okay with being here, and a little less guilty over the way the world has spun its tale around them?

Do things really get better?

They've been my heroes as long as I can remember. I wanted to be a part of it in some small way.

[pause]

In retrospect, I realize this makes me incredibly creepy.

I can't say I'd be upset about being rescued by your dad. It would be pretty awesome, actually. Maybe I'd get to see your world.

[Determination is like a basic element--it shows up in all fields, in different capacities. It affects every aspect of things. At least it can.]

heh, sorta. i was. i don't think you ever really stop...at least, you never stop thinking like one. which, heh, is a problem sometimes.

[It means he approaches things too analytically, too logically, finds himself working through problems and puzzles without even meaning to. His mind is the only thing fast about him. Too fast for his own good, half the time.]

[He slows in his knitting as Chara talks and finally stops outright for several long seconds. He stares at the two rows he's managed to finish. Not very impressive. Only one dropped stitch, though.]

[This is...pushing the bounds of this unspoken truce they've had, but it's...it's fine. This is okay. Maybe it's alright to talk about it. He'd really rather not, and it has much less to do with secrets this time, but well. He doesn't have a choice. But that's fine, it's not like they're digging for anything really bad, and he's trying to be more honest with them anyway, regardless of events.]

i-i, uh...

[It's fine. He starts on his current row again, dropping another stitch.]

well, for...for one thing, al is actually more qualified. way...way more qualified. she's an actual doctor. i'm pretty sure she's got more than one phd, probably. heh, i never even finished mine. she's a natural genius and a hard worker. she's multi-disciplinary. ridiculously skilled. she was a shoe-in for the position, way better for it than me, even if...

[And this is the part he doesn't want to talk about, because every single time he's talked about it, everything has gone wrong. Every single time. Give them nothing, he'd said, a year ago. Shouldn't talk about it. Should just keep it to himself. It's all gone and buried and never existed anyway, so he shouldn't...]

[Doesn't have a choice, though.]

when g--when, uh, the last royal scientist disappeared, a lot of stuff went with him. uh, it's sorta...complicated. if you remove one integer--sorry, one, uh, factor, of an equation, it affects the entire equation. everything. see, i--he was one of my inspirations for getting into science at all. the idea of working with him was a sorta motivator. he hired me personally. so...with him not existing, the rest of that never existed. my--career never existed. so, as far as the world is concerned, i was never a scientist at all. i never, heh, i never held down a job at all until i became a sentry. someone as lazy as sans would never be able to hold down a real job, right? heh.

[He tries to focus on his knitting, but he misses another stitch and almost drops his entire work off the needle. He manages to catch it before it slides off.]

al was at the top of a very short list of candidates for the position of royal scientist. i wasn't even on it. and that was fine by me. too much responsibility, yanno? and after everything that happened--all the...we did horrible stuff. we abused science. i, heh, damn, i'd really rather not get this uh, this in-depth about it, but it felt like i couldn't touch science without, uh, ruining something. and everything afterward, for the last ten years, every time i went anywhere near science, it was just...bad. or pointless. or someone got hurt. so...

[He takes a breath, forcing a grin, forcing himself to finish the row and start a new one.]

so i guess, no. science isn't fun anymore.

What about this, just answer yes or no. This is probably gonna be static too but I gotta try. When we left Refuge, June gave me a paper with the original design for the statue in front of the town. It was her and her dad standing with a Red Robe. One of the pictures the face was covered, but the other one had my face.

I...I can't even say the words cause it fucks up my brain to even think about it, but does this mean what I think it means?

[That he's supposed to be one of these irredeemable and evil Red Robes?]

[The part about her office post-Wonderland catches him off guard. He was supposed to get some bad luck, but he hadn't gotten that far yet in their Wonderland. What this part of the bad luck or was there another reason for faking his death?]

[Unfortunately no one here could answer that. Taako was from a room or two before the last in Wonderland and Merle was still back home.]

They pretended I was dead? Did something happen when we fought the liches?

Yeah. I don't recommend it.

[There's a bit of a bite to George's tone. She isn't exactly aiming it at Shaun, but she isn't really holding it back either. Being trapped in the CDC was worse than dying. Being back for even a few hours has her on edge.

She tugs him back towards the door and places her hand over his on the trigger.]

Now, Shaun.

"At least she tried. I will give her that, though I don't think there's anything we could do to brace against what all happened." Which also is something that Newt can't stop thinking about. No matter how much others might try and warn them, they can brace but it doesn't look like there is much they can do to prepare. Not against the things that can hurt them ways deeper than wounds. At least for Newt, and many others he's talked to.

He falls silent then, considering that. "The thing it showed me is apparently what my mind thinks is worst, but it isn't what haunts me. It just put me on the path to the rest," he says. "I get why its what Wonderland used against me because changing it would change everything, but if I changed it all, I wouldn't have the chances I've had."

It's what he has reminded himself since that day.

"I didn't mean to be insulting in saying that, just that they're going to hurt us and I know they're hurting others worse than me." Which didn't make it better but was how he was trying to stay sane about it all, and not curl up and wallow in his own pain.

"Thank you for that. I means a lot to me to know others might think that. I promise, in this, I'm not risking that. My pain over that loss will always be with me, but I can't accept it would be better if I could change that. She could not accept my life as I need it to be, and I was just a pawn in many ways. Knowing that isn't easier, but it's better for me."

[Being forced to blab resulted in Lucifer and Chloe finally being honest with each other, so it wasn't all bad for him.

That said, he naturally doesn't think about that aspect at all.]

I do miss the ability to omit certain things, yes.

[He scoffs at that, as if he's offended.]

Well, of course, I am. I barely know what to do with things like friendship, let alone actual romance. She doesn't find me naturally enticing which means I could screw it up.

[He clamps his mouth shut, irritation clearly in his eyes.]

Bloody Hell I hate this.

Well, I appreciate it.

[He does so hate to have his past on display. It's rather humiliating, honestly.

He can't even admit to himself how else he feels about it.]

I say that might just be one of the best things I've heard thus far.

"I've never been very good at visualizing the long-term." Is that being morbid, considering their life story? Even with no choice but to tell the truth, they can't seem to just deliver an answer that isn't dark or sharpened into that self-deprecating, jaded edge. "I don't know what I'll end up being at all."

It'd been daunting enough to think time might start moving again. It's daunting enough to try and find a definite answer for who Chara is now, let alone someday.

"But I don't think anyone can say where I'll end up, can they? You can't define that for certain. I tried to force you to supply an answer for me, and that was... it was pretty unfair of me, actually. I'm not surprised that "I don't know" was the only answer you could give, too." It's a pretty elusive concept, existence and the role you're meant to play in the universe, so it's not exactly a light burden to just drop on a person's shoulders. Can't expect folks to just be carrying the meaning of life up their sleeve or something!

"I... went this long without gaining more LOVE, though." The EXP they've gathered won't be going away. There's no easy out from those consequences. You wear the lives you've taken for the rest of your days. But they're not... they're not LV19 yet. "I think I care about you, so I know that I do care about something other than... you know. Senseless mass murder. Sans told me the lesson I was supposed to take from it. How I was so busy only thinking of myself, that I didn't care that I was hurting everyone else. I let that be more important than caring about you, and it just... I... I don't want any of that to ever happen again. So, I know that I've learned from this."

Those are good things. Right? That's some evidence of somewhere to start. There's a foundation to build from, right there. This isn't all self-pity and tragedy and flagellation.

"I won't get worse. I have not forgotten I promised you that I would try."

[Jay nods, lips pulling into something that isn't quite a smile.]

I think I should...I'm gonna go to my room and, and think.

[And then, against his will, the event pulls a little more out of him.]

I haven't felt like this since, since home. And I did some stuff back home that I don't...I want to do again, and that's...I don't think that's...consistent.

[Yeah, that definitely didn't make sense. He rubs at his eyes.]

If you're gonna be alright, I'm...gonna go.

( It's happening again, she realizes. Whatever happened the first time. He started to seem more like himself for a little while, and then- She's not sure, but it makes her guarded. )

Yeah, I'm fine.

Do whatever you have to do so you don't do that shit again.

( Clementine takes a step back and opens the door for him so he can leave. She keeps her front to him the whole time, watching until he's gone. )

[His memory immediately, painfully winds back--]

["For whatever reason, this really set off Rocky, and, uh, h-he got really scared. He wouldn't move and kept pulling on his leash to go home. There was something about this guy that was just...it was strange."]

[...He said that out loud, didn't he? He did. It was muttered, but he did.]

Uh. Yeah, dogs are...dogs are good at that stuff. Picking up on things we don't.

What--?

[Do what shit? She's clearly seeing something he's not, and he wants to ask, but--]

[But he wants even more to get out of there.]

I'll...I'll go to my room. See you...see you later.

... How can you be so optimistic in the face of such things? Does anyone ever call you naive for thinkin' that way?

[He's not accusing exactly, mostly curious here.]

Is it patronizing to say something like...like I'm proud of you? Is it fair? They've learned from this and taken things away, and taken lessons away from Sans no less. They've not advanced any further than they have, and the advancements they have made - those were made in self-defense, or for Frisk's protection, weren't they?

"I wish I did have an answer." That, too, is just as true as everything else they've been made to say. "I wish I could tell you that...this is how things should be, or that you're someone who's too special to be copied and made into something else. I don't really know for sure."

But if they could begin to be even half of what you think of them...

"But I do know that I'm glad that you're here. I didn't treat you fairly, when you first came here. I treated you like something to be afraid of, like you were my responsibility. I didn't understand what you meant to me then."

They didn't understand a lot of things, it turned out. It took time. And it wasn't easy.

"But I don't ever want to forget what you mean to me now."

Maybe then they could learn how to love
like you.

Yeah! You're so invited to come back with me and Damian. I'm sure you'd like it.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 158 of 201

It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject