He spreads his hands, though it's more of an exhausted shrug than anything placating. He doesn't know what to do. He never knows how to do this.
"then...have some uninvolved third party. someone to keep the two of you separate until this is over. hell, i'll do it, if you want."
Tim sounds so goddamn tired. Completely lost, completely at the end of his rope.
"yes you can."
He winces and hisses a breath through his teeth.
god, that's. not what i meant to say. i--you can, though, that's the...worst thing. you can lose someone again and again and again. and you keep surviving, and you wonder how. it stops meaning anything. everything stops meaning anything."
He scrubs at his face with one hand, bone rasping against bone.
"i'm sorry, i'm. this is the fourth...maybe fifth time i've tried to talk someone out of this and you'd think...you'd think i'd...know what to do by now. that there's some...s-some combination of words that works like a magic spell. that fixes it. but there isn't. doesn't help when i can't even fucking--lie.
He sinks back against a tree.
"i don't...want to lose you either. jay probably doesn't. clem probably doesn't. lotta people here that don't. thing is, i know i...can. i know i can. i just don't want to. it's goddamn selfish. it's not about me. but i don't know what to do. i never do."
:(
"then...have some uninvolved third party. someone to keep the two of you separate until this is over. hell, i'll do it, if you want."
Tim sounds so goddamn tired. Completely lost, completely at the end of his rope.
"yes you can."
He winces and hisses a breath through his teeth.
god, that's. not what i meant to say. i--you can, though, that's the...worst thing. you can lose someone again and again and again. and you keep surviving, and you wonder how. it stops meaning anything. everything stops meaning anything."
He scrubs at his face with one hand, bone rasping against bone.
"i'm sorry, i'm. this is the fourth...maybe fifth time i've tried to talk someone out of this and you'd think...you'd think i'd...know what to do by now. that there's some...s-some combination of words that works like a magic spell. that fixes it. but there isn't. doesn't help when i can't even fucking--lie.
He sinks back against a tree.
"i don't...want to lose you either. jay probably doesn't. clem probably doesn't. lotta people here that don't. thing is, i know i...can. i know i can. i just don't want to. it's goddamn selfish. it's not about me. but i don't know what to do. i never do."