There's just no hope for any of it? Is that how they choose to interpret things? Is that how they believe it all to be? If this is how every fear has sat in silence, screaming to be heard, what hope does anyone have to try and twist that away from what they truly believe? What hope does anyone have to shout out into that void and hope that things will change?
"So I taught you that." Or, even if they didn't - they were complicit in it. They bought into the narrative. Maybe they can call that one human nature too.
"I'm supposed to be filled with determination. I'm always supposed to find something that fills me with determination. Something like...crinkling leaves, or howling wind, or the smell of ozone." The stiff autumn breeze wicking through the treetops, or the thought of a mouse gnawing through the hard patina of crystal to reach the nugget of cheese buried within. It's something, anything - no matter how small it might be, no matter how inconsequential. It's a reason to get up. A reason to Continue. It's a reason to stop wondering about why the fall didn't break you, and start trying to move on in spite of it.
Was that wrong of them too?
"I can't tell you why you were so determined you lasted. I can't tell you what happened on Halloween, because I didn't really understand it. I still don't. Maybe that's my fault too, because I don't like to think about it. Something like...an exaggeration. A what-could-have-been. I don't know. I just don't like to think about the times I lost you."
This much speaking puts a rasp to their already soft words. They almost sound as tired as they feel.
"Ever since I landed on your grave, there's always been...something. Something that fills me with determination. And at some point, I...I don't know when - that stopped being stuff like mice in holes, or thinking about SAVE points."
It stopped being the number of steps until every monster was gone. It stopped being the shadow of the ruins, or the cold of a new land, or the convenience of a lamp. It stopped being the vision of a house nestled in the fallen leaves. It stopped being something as simple as bandaged fingertips running over ukulele strings.
"It started to be you, instead. You filled me with determination. You were the reason I could keep...going."
Or is that just sappy of them?
"I didn't realize that wasn't fair to you. To make you the only person that matters. To make you the person who I can't live without. And I know you hate apologies. But - I'm sorry, for that."
no subject
There's just no hope for any of it? Is that how they choose to interpret things? Is that how they believe it all to be? If this is how every fear has sat in silence, screaming to be heard, what hope does anyone have to try and twist that away from what they truly believe? What hope does anyone have to shout out into that void and hope that things will change?
"So I taught you that." Or, even if they didn't - they were complicit in it. They bought into the narrative. Maybe they can call that one human nature too.
"I'm supposed to be filled with determination. I'm always supposed to find something that fills me with determination. Something like...crinkling leaves, or howling wind, or the smell of ozone." The stiff autumn breeze wicking through the treetops, or the thought of a mouse gnawing through the hard patina of crystal to reach the nugget of cheese buried within. It's something, anything - no matter how small it might be, no matter how inconsequential. It's a reason to get up. A reason to Continue. It's a reason to stop wondering about why the fall didn't break you, and start trying to move on in spite of it.
Was that wrong of them too?
"I can't tell you why you were so determined you lasted. I can't tell you what happened on Halloween, because I didn't really understand it. I still don't. Maybe that's my fault too, because I don't like to think about it. Something like...an exaggeration. A what-could-have-been. I don't know. I just don't like to think about the times I lost you."
This much speaking puts a rasp to their already soft words. They almost sound as tired as they feel.
"Ever since I landed on your grave, there's always been...something. Something that fills me with determination. And at some point, I...I don't know when - that stopped being stuff like mice in holes, or thinking about SAVE points."
It stopped being the number of steps until every monster was gone. It stopped being the shadow of the ruins, or the cold of a new land, or the convenience of a lamp. It stopped being the vision of a house nestled in the fallen leaves. It stopped being something as simple as bandaged fingertips running over ukulele strings.
"It started to be you, instead. You filled me with determination. You were the reason I could keep...going."
Or is that just sappy of them?
"I didn't realize that wasn't fair to you. To make you the only person that matters. To make you the person who I can't live without. And I know you hate apologies. But - I'm sorry, for that."