"I've never expected for a second that I can SAVE anyone," they answer, with the sort of smiling self-deprecation that even this forced honesty can't peel away from them, "but god, I don't know if I've ever wished for a human to have anything like I've wished for your happiness." They're always wanting things they don't have the power to do, aren't they? "I want it to go better for you." That fierce, lionhearted protectiveness, right? Let it end with them. Don't allow another kid to get swallowed up by it. "I want you to be absolutely surrounded by people you can trust. No conditions or expectations or demands. I want you to be content and never once have to question the fact you're content. I want you to have stability that you don't have to feel guilty or ashamed about, Frisk."
It's embarrassing, the way it pours out of them. Downright cringy, isn't it? Get a load of this delusional dramatic loser, ha ha. Who do they think they are, some kind of anime protagonist?
"And I... already know that I can't make that happen for you. That I can't be enough all on my own. I'm not even one whole person, let alone - let alone a dozen of them! I know I can't be all that. All I can be is Chara, and I - ha ha, I struggle with even that much, don't I?"
But they promised they would try.
"I'm just... I care about you so much, Frisk," they say, because Wonderland won't let them get away with dodging it. "I care about you so much, and I want that happiness for you so bad I can't... I don't know how to QUIT, ha. I'd do just about anything to keep any trace of those Surface things from your life, and yet... every time I try it, I just end up perpetuating those things instead. I don't stop the cycle. I keep it from ending."
Are we just doomed? They'd asked Frisk that once. They'd confessed that they... they're just like their parents, aren't they? Corrupted, tainted, ruined beyond repair. And so, as nothing more than a vector for that vile rot, they just pass it onto anyone who comes close enough. Fill their head with filenames, rip the warm brown eyes from their sockets, and leave nothing behind but a sharp edge cutting into arteries. Better to die than keep living like this. Better to slit your own throat than continue for one second longer in a world where this is what love is supposed to feel like.
Maybe... maybe there is such a thing as loving too intensely...? I'd give up everything for you, Asriel. I'd give up anything for you, Frisk. But... what good is that, if you only ever learned how to offer skewed, crooked things?
"Funny, is it not? It just boils down to the fact I'm afraid that I'm a bad influence. That getting all full of myself on those pompous ideas about protecting someone just... the universe will right itself eventually. A rubber band stretched too far will snap back into place. I will end up doing harm, and attempting to help instead will only make karma push things back into place all the more viciously."
There it is. The most hilarious truth of them all.
Asriel knew. Chara wouldn't let go. They've probably heard this a hundred times already. They'll never escape the pull of a True Reset.
Chara knew, too. Strode unflinchingly down the dustiest road of all, laid their quiet plans to make these endless loops stop for good so they could finally, finally ERASE this pointless world and move on to the next.
LOVE, EXP, death. They're just symptoms. It's the cycle that has more power over them than anything. It's the inability to find a path beyond an infinite, endless circling, over and over, down the same worn ruts. It had been a rhetorical question when they'd been asked if anyone can change, because people like them won't EVER be happy. Despite their best efforts, they'll continue to be themself. No matter what, they'll still be judged not exactly the greatest person. After all... time stopped for them a long time ago, didn't it?
All these tiring, vainglorious words... ha. What good are words? That's Chara, always so verbose. Overflowing with words as soon as they think there's a chance they might be heard. Why not just get to the point, instead?
"I'm scared I'm already doomed, and that's taken away my power to do anything but doom others in turn."
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It's embarrassing, the way it pours out of them. Downright cringy, isn't it? Get a load of this delusional dramatic loser, ha ha. Who do they think they are, some kind of anime protagonist?
"And I... already know that I can't make that happen for you. That I can't be enough all on my own. I'm not even one whole person, let alone - let alone a dozen of them! I know I can't be all that. All I can be is Chara, and I - ha ha, I struggle with even that much, don't I?"
But they promised they would try.
"I'm just... I care about you so much, Frisk," they say, because Wonderland won't let them get away with dodging it. "I care about you so much, and I want that happiness for you so bad I can't... I don't know how to QUIT, ha. I'd do just about anything to keep any trace of those Surface things from your life, and yet... every time I try it, I just end up perpetuating those things instead. I don't stop the cycle. I keep it from ending."
Are we just doomed? They'd asked Frisk that once. They'd confessed that they... they're just like their parents, aren't they? Corrupted, tainted, ruined beyond repair. And so, as nothing more than a vector for that vile rot, they just pass it onto anyone who comes close enough. Fill their head with filenames, rip the warm brown eyes from their sockets, and leave nothing behind but a sharp edge cutting into arteries. Better to die than keep living like this. Better to slit your own throat than continue for one second longer in a world where this is what love is supposed to feel like.
Maybe... maybe there is such a thing as loving too intensely...? I'd give up everything for you, Asriel. I'd give up anything for you, Frisk. But... what good is that, if you only ever learned how to offer skewed, crooked things?
"Funny, is it not? It just boils down to the fact I'm afraid that I'm a bad influence. That getting all full of myself on those pompous ideas about protecting someone just... the universe will right itself eventually. A rubber band stretched too far will snap back into place. I will end up doing harm, and attempting to help instead will only make karma push things back into place all the more viciously."
There it is. The most hilarious truth of them all.
Asriel knew. Chara wouldn't let go. They've probably heard this a hundred times already. They'll never escape the pull of a True Reset.
Chara knew, too. Strode unflinchingly down the dustiest road of all, laid their quiet plans to make these endless loops stop for good so they could finally, finally ERASE this pointless world and move on to the next.
LOVE, EXP, death. They're just symptoms. It's the cycle that has more power over them than anything. It's the inability to find a path beyond an infinite, endless circling, over and over, down the same worn ruts. It had been a rhetorical question when they'd been asked if anyone can change, because people like them won't EVER be happy. Despite their best efforts, they'll continue to be themself. No matter what, they'll still be judged not exactly the greatest person. After all... time stopped for them a long time ago, didn't it?
All these tiring, vainglorious words... ha. What good are words? That's Chara, always so verbose. Overflowing with words as soon as they think there's a chance they might be heard. Why not just get to the point, instead?
"I'm scared I'm already doomed, and that's taken away my power to do anything but doom others in turn."