[ His breathing hitches at the sudden gesture, arms raising in surprise. A hug... definitely isn't what he expects to get, either. Jon always gives really good hugs, but also at the timing he needs it the most, even when he didn't notice how much he needed it initially. Still, he doesn't feel like he can return it this time round. Jon has yet to know what he's actually like ー not before he hears about what Mondo's done after. Bitterly fighting his urge, he lets his arms fall to his sides. He can't reject Jon's hugs, but he mustn't return it either. ]
It was still my fault. If I didn't get reckless, he'd still be there, he'd have some great future ahead. I took that chance from him.
[ His hands ball into fists, gripping tight that his veins are popping. ]
If I think about it now, I should've just settled it by proving them wrong and leading them properly. Facing the problems heads on, the manly way to go, y'know? And yet... I just kept going the loser way, even after that.
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It was still my fault. If I didn't get reckless, he'd still be there, he'd have some great future ahead. I took that chance from him.
[ His hands ball into fists, gripping tight that his veins are popping. ]
If I think about it now, I should've just settled it by proving them wrong and leading them properly. Facing the problems heads on, the manly way to go, y'know? And yet... I just kept going the loser way, even after that.