"...I know." They admit it softly, with a defeated little rush of breath, because god but they know how it feels. They know what it's like to not have a future. If they're neither human nor monster, how could they ever hope to have a place in the world of humans and monsters? Anomalies like them... they're nothing but the last remaining threat to everyone's happiness. The weight of their mistakes and the things they've become are far too heavy to allow them a place in a perfectly happy story.
They can't say they're surprised Asriel might feel the same. He's the one, after all, who taught them that.
Doesn't mean it doesn't make their heart sink, though. Each time he comes here... it's foolish, but they can never seem to stop themself from hoping. He's got everything he could want here, right? The friend he really wants, the family he deserves, his body, his feelings. Everything necessary for his problems to be solved perfectly, no? Only... thinking in terms like that... it doesn't really work outside of the short-term rush of achievement-hunting. Time and time again, it's never actually that easy to be happy.
After all, what's waiting for them back home? Nothing but a dead-end. Nothing but finding out what happens to something without a soul when it dies. If determination is the resolve to change fate... then how could they ever accept a fate as painful as that?
"It's - it's too painful, isn't it? You know it's better if everyone moves on. You know it's better if they're all perfectly happy without you." It's a good thing, actually, that he knows they're bad. It's a good thing, actually, to replace them with the friend he really wished for. It's better. There's nothing left to worry about. Everyone's perfectly happy, after all. "But actually seeing them leaving you behind, shutting you away, throwing you out..." There are no pictures of Asgore, Asriel, or Chara in Home. Toriel won't take care of those flowers anymore, now that she has a new child to lead around by the hand. "You are our future," Asgore tells a brand-new child. He only wants to see his wife and son. For some reason, far beyond the limited reach their spectre can achieve, a better person than them does it all perfect. Nobody reacts with horror or alarm or violence when a monster appears in the village.
Do they ever tell anyone, they wonder, about who the angel who had seen the surface really was? Do they visit that flower deep within the Ruins? What keeps him going, if he has neither hope nor Resets to cling to anymore?
"But even if it's better for everyone else... it isn't better for the ones left behind, is it? It hurts. It hurts too much to bear. Why should we just be the tragic footnote in someone else's tale? Why must happiness come at our expense? Of course you're jealous. Anyone would be. So..."
Exhale.
"Everyone and everything in these worthless memories... perhaps it really is better that we let them go, Asriel. Leave behind that pointless world, if it has already left us behind. Why can't this be where you belong, Asriel? What stops you from making the place you've fallen into your new home?"
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They can't say they're surprised Asriel might feel the same. He's the one, after all, who taught them that.
Doesn't mean it doesn't make their heart sink, though. Each time he comes here... it's foolish, but they can never seem to stop themself from hoping. He's got everything he could want here, right? The friend he really wants, the family he deserves, his body, his feelings. Everything necessary for his problems to be solved perfectly, no? Only... thinking in terms like that... it doesn't really work outside of the short-term rush of achievement-hunting. Time and time again, it's never actually that easy to be happy.
After all, what's waiting for them back home? Nothing but a dead-end. Nothing but finding out what happens to something without a soul when it dies. If determination is the resolve to change fate... then how could they ever accept a fate as painful as that?
"It's - it's too painful, isn't it? You know it's better if everyone moves on. You know it's better if they're all perfectly happy without you." It's a good thing, actually, that he knows they're bad. It's a good thing, actually, to replace them with the friend he really wished for. It's better. There's nothing left to worry about. Everyone's perfectly happy, after all. "But actually seeing them leaving you behind, shutting you away, throwing you out..." There are no pictures of Asgore, Asriel, or Chara in Home. Toriel won't take care of those flowers anymore, now that she has a new child to lead around by the hand. "You are our future," Asgore tells a brand-new child. He only wants to see his wife and son. For some reason, far beyond the limited reach their spectre can achieve, a better person than them does it all perfect. Nobody reacts with horror or alarm or violence when a monster appears in the village.
Do they ever tell anyone, they wonder, about who the angel who had seen the surface really was? Do they visit that flower deep within the Ruins? What keeps him going, if he has neither hope nor Resets to cling to anymore?
"But even if it's better for everyone else... it isn't better for the ones left behind, is it? It hurts. It hurts too much to bear. Why should we just be the tragic footnote in someone else's tale? Why must happiness come at our expense? Of course you're jealous. Anyone would be. So..."
Exhale.
"Everyone and everything in these worthless memories... perhaps it really is better that we let them go, Asriel. Leave behind that pointless world, if it has already left us behind. Why can't this be where you belong, Asriel? What stops you from making the place you've fallen into your new home?"