[Lapis grits her teeth as her hands come up to clutch at her elbows. There's no getting around answering a direct question, but when it's so broad she can at least focus on some parts over others. She can. She doesn't want to do any of this, but she can manage that much.]

Because I hate this place. [She begins with full vehemence; she certainly has no problem saying that.] I hate it so much. I hate being here, and I would -- I wouldn't do anything to get out, but I'd do a lot. So of course there's no point getting attached. It would just make things more complicated. And...

[You wouldn't even think it was possible for her to get even more tense, but here she goes.] And a lot of me still doesn't want to do anything that's going to make it more bearable, or make me less miserable here, because I still feel like that would be giving up.