[He wishes he could just shut the hell up, and he wishes she would do the same. But that's the whole point. This event won't let them. Every time he takes a step for the door, he has to stop, because one of them has said something. He could teleport, but that would be dodging.]
if you'd wanted to give me an out, you would have done like your friend mahir and asked me something completely innocuous. besides, these events don't really like outs. wonderland can tell when we're trying to cheat. and trying to resist just gave me a raging headache, worse than this time. and it's not...
[Stop, god, why won't this event just let him stop?]
it's not whether you tried to give me an out or not. it's not what i ended up telling you. most of that stuff was...you probably would have figured a lot of it out eventually, just by knowing me. it's--that you asked. that you--you saw a chance to force me to tell you something and you just--took it. you didn't even hesitate. you were smug about it. and it's--dammit, i can't--i hate this, i hate how pathetic this is going to sound, but you made me feel powerless, george, like you were just--just another person with control over me who decided to use it in the worst way. the same as it always is. and i don't think that's what you intended, but it's how i felt.
[Fuck this. Fuck all of this. He sets down what's left of his fries, goes to the nearest cupboard, and pulls out a bottle of whiskey.]
i only ever trick myself into thinking i have any control over my life. i do it by knowing things, and by trying to control what people know about me. so. there that is. and now i think wonderland might let me walk out of here and go get hammered so i can forget i just made myself vulnerable in front of yet another person i can't trust.
no subject
if you'd wanted to give me an out, you would have done like your friend mahir and asked me something completely innocuous. besides, these events don't really like outs. wonderland can tell when we're trying to cheat. and trying to resist just gave me a raging headache, worse than this time. and it's not...
[Stop, god, why won't this event just let him stop?]
it's not whether you tried to give me an out or not. it's not what i ended up telling you. most of that stuff was...you probably would have figured a lot of it out eventually, just by knowing me. it's--that you asked. that you--you saw a chance to force me to tell you something and you just--took it. you didn't even hesitate. you were smug about it. and it's--dammit, i can't--i hate this, i hate how pathetic this is going to sound, but you made me feel powerless, george, like you were just--just another person with control over me who decided to use it in the worst way. the same as it always is. and i don't think that's what you intended, but it's how i felt.
[Fuck this. Fuck all of this. He sets down what's left of his fries, goes to the nearest cupboard, and pulls out a bottle of whiskey.]
i only ever trick myself into thinking i have any control over my life. i do it by knowing things, and by trying to control what people know about me. so. there that is. and now i think wonderland might let me walk out of here and go get hammered so i can forget i just made myself vulnerable in front of yet another person i can't trust.