Nearly dying will do that to a person. Scrambles the brains. I'd know. I've died... five times.

( Technically, the Phoenix Stone counts as dying even if he was able to come back from that, but there sure was a sword through his chest, and his body was just a body for months. Then he sends a finger-gun Lucifer's way, because yes, Lucifer definitely owes him.

Though Damon would have saved him regardless, but details. )

That's a start. I don't know that anyone ever has it fully figured out even years after feeling it and embracing and acknowledging and not worrying about deserving or ruining it- ( He grimaces at that particular level of honesty. )

So how's it feel?