"I've never been very good at visualizing the long-term." Is that being morbid, considering their life story? Even with no choice but to tell the truth, they can't seem to just deliver an answer that isn't dark or sharpened into that self-deprecating, jaded edge. "I don't know what I'll end up being at all."
It'd been daunting enough to think time might start moving again. It's daunting enough to try and find a definite answer for who Chara is now, let alone someday.
"But I don't think anyone can say where I'll end up, can they? You can't define that for certain. I tried to force you to supply an answer for me, and that was... it was pretty unfair of me, actually. I'm not surprised that "I don't know" was the only answer you could give, too." It's a pretty elusive concept, existence and the role you're meant to play in the universe, so it's not exactly a light burden to just drop on a person's shoulders. Can't expect folks to just be carrying the meaning of life up their sleeve or something!
"I... went this long without gaining more LOVE, though." The EXP they've gathered won't be going away. There's no easy out from those consequences. You wear the lives you've taken for the rest of your days. But they're not... they're not LV19 yet. "I think I care about you, so I know that I do care about something other than... you know. Senseless mass murder. Sans told me the lesson I was supposed to take from it. How I was so busy only thinking of myself, that I didn't care that I was hurting everyone else. I let that be more important than caring about you, and it just... I... I don't want any of that to ever happen again. So, I know that I've learned from this."
Those are good things. Right? That's some evidence of somewhere to start. There's a foundation to build from, right there. This isn't all self-pity and tragedy and flagellation.
"I won't get worse. I have not forgotten I promised you that I would try."
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It'd been daunting enough to think time might start moving again. It's daunting enough to try and find a definite answer for who Chara is now, let alone someday.
"But I don't think anyone can say where I'll end up, can they? You can't define that for certain. I tried to force you to supply an answer for me, and that was... it was pretty unfair of me, actually. I'm not surprised that "I don't know" was the only answer you could give, too." It's a pretty elusive concept, existence and the role you're meant to play in the universe, so it's not exactly a light burden to just drop on a person's shoulders. Can't expect folks to just be carrying the meaning of life up their sleeve or something!
"I... went this long without gaining more LOVE, though." The EXP they've gathered won't be going away. There's no easy out from those consequences. You wear the lives you've taken for the rest of your days. But they're not... they're not LV19 yet. "I think I care about you, so I know that I do care about something other than... you know. Senseless mass murder. Sans told me the lesson I was supposed to take from it. How I was so busy only thinking of myself, that I didn't care that I was hurting everyone else. I let that be more important than caring about you, and it just... I... I don't want any of that to ever happen again. So, I know that I've learned from this."
Those are good things. Right? That's some evidence of somewhere to start. There's a foundation to build from, right there. This isn't all self-pity and tragedy and flagellation.
"I won't get worse. I have not forgotten I promised you that I would try."