"Alright," he blurts out, and there's a manic edge to it. "Alright, I'm not. I'm not normal. I'm paranoid. I'm obsessive." There's something oddly freeing about it, and he keeps going. "And I black out and I see things that aren't there and I write cryptic bullshit, and I run around with a mask on at night, and I want to hurt people, and when I don't want to hurt people I want to know everything, and that thing's been fucking with my head for four years, and I don't know how much of it's it and how much of it's me, but that's just--just how I am now, and it's fine!"
He starts to pace, and there's pain shooting across his chest, but it's not important right now. "I'm not--I'm not neutral. I'm not a third party. I'm not unbiased. I'm part of it, and I have been even before I took those tapes from Alex."
Is he crying? He thinks he's crying, just barely. There's constriction in his throat, water at the corners of his eyes.
"I'm not normal, alright? There. I said it."
There's nothing but the rush of faucets and the crackling of burning timber.
Then, a quiet voice from the pool. "...You actually did it."
"Yep." Jay doesn't know what else to say.
The burnt body lifts itself up again, with a great effort, looks over at Jay. This time, at least, it doesn't force the eye contact. A crooked smile tugs at one side of its cracked mouth. "Now, what're you going to do about it?"
no subject
Big.
Fucking.
Deal.
"Alright," he blurts out, and there's a manic edge to it. "Alright, I'm not. I'm not normal. I'm paranoid. I'm obsessive." There's something oddly freeing about it, and he keeps going. "And I black out and I see things that aren't there and I write cryptic bullshit, and I run around with a mask on at night, and I want to hurt people, and when I don't want to hurt people I want to know everything, and that thing's been fucking with my head for four years, and I don't know how much of it's it and how much of it's me, but that's just--just how I am now, and it's fine!"
He starts to pace, and there's pain shooting across his chest, but it's not important right now. "I'm not--I'm not neutral. I'm not a third party. I'm not unbiased. I'm part of it, and I have been even before I took those tapes from Alex."
Is he crying? He thinks he's crying, just barely. There's constriction in his throat, water at the corners of his eyes.
"I'm not normal, alright? There. I said it."
There's nothing but the rush of faucets and the crackling of burning timber.
Then, a quiet voice from the pool. "...You actually did it."
"Yep." Jay doesn't know what else to say.
The burnt body lifts itself up again, with a great effort, looks over at Jay. This time, at least, it doesn't force the eye contact. A crooked smile tugs at one side of its cracked mouth. "Now, what're you going to do about it?"
And with that, it crumbles to dust.