burntvideocassette: (i screwed up)
Jay Merrick ([personal profile] burntvideocassette) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs 2018-05-26 06:07 am (UTC)

same cw

Is that how many you're supposed to take?

Jay hisses through his teeth, running his hands through his hair. He doesn't look up.

He remembers sifting through the half-ruined footage, watching Tim empty the bottle into his hand. He didn't understand what he was seeing at first. It didn't really sink in until the fourth or fifth time around.

The only choice that was ever really his.

For Jay, going to Benedict Hall was a choice, wasn't it?

Was it?

Jay presses the heel of his palm into his forehead, forces himself to breathe.

"Home, our--our world or whatever..."

Not just that thing, but all of it. The crumbling buildings, the cracked highways, the rotting motels, the callousness of the comments, the way he had to learn to talk the way they did, to keep it all locked down, to keep everything distant and professional and detached at all costs. Hospitals and schools, nurses and family, rules and regulations and consequences if they don't shrink to fit them. Normal and Unnatural. Good and Evil. Sin and sacrifice and superstition and skepticism, and the way the definitions change depending on who he's talking to.

"It's fucked, isn't it?"

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