Jay's not used to this. It goes against what he's picked up, over the years; admitting you're wrong--like, fully, sincerely--just gives them a new place to drive the knife in. It gives the viewers--gives the internet a new way to mock you. If you can justify it, you're just as right as the next guy, so you're not stupid. If you apologize, you're just admitting it. You're giving up.
But they're not on camera--not in the old way. This conversation isn't getting broadcast to an audience of thousands.
(And didn't he apologize? That day he forgot, that day that Tim played back in his own voice. He was sorry. He understood.)
Tim's sorry. He wishes he didn't do it.
Honestly, the only thing Jay wanted to hear more than that was that he'd never do it again.
"Wish you hadn't either, so..." His field of view twitches away from Tim, toward the corner of the table.
No. It's wrong. Incomplete. He can't let Tim take full responsibility for this. He can't let Tim 'What if it's all my fault?' Wright take another thing wholly onto his shoulders, just because it's simpler.
"I--I mean, I shouldn't...I shouldn't've tried...shouldn't've gone in there. I'm the one--I got too close, and they got in, so it's--I mean, I get why you..."
Fuck.
"Sorry."
He should leave it there. He should stop.
But he keeps going.
"Feels like it's...like, when something happens, you have to do something. You have to keep--keep moving, keep making progress, or you're--or you're just dead, and you don't even know why. Like people are gonna say...you let it happen. But then this shit happens, and it's--like, just trying to do something almost got...it didn't accomplish anything. Just made things worse. Made you think you had to...y'know."
no subject
Jay's not used to this. It goes against what he's picked up, over the years; admitting you're wrong--like, fully, sincerely--just gives them a new place to drive the knife in. It gives the viewers--gives the internet a new way to mock you. If you can justify it, you're just as right as the next guy, so you're not stupid. If you apologize, you're just admitting it. You're giving up.
But they're not on camera--not in the old way. This conversation isn't getting broadcast to an audience of thousands.
(And didn't he apologize? That day he forgot, that day that Tim played back in his own voice. He was sorry. He understood.)
Tim's sorry. He wishes he didn't do it.
Honestly, the only thing Jay wanted to hear more than that was that he'd never do it again.
"Wish you hadn't either, so..." His field of view twitches away from Tim, toward the corner of the table.
No. It's wrong. Incomplete. He can't let Tim take full responsibility for this. He can't let Tim 'What if it's all my fault?' Wright take another thing wholly onto his shoulders, just because it's simpler.
"I--I mean, I shouldn't...I shouldn't've tried...shouldn't've gone in there. I'm the one--I got too close, and they got in, so it's--I mean, I get why you..."
Fuck.
"Sorry."
He should leave it there. He should stop.
But he keeps going.
"Feels like it's...like, when something happens, you have to do something. You have to keep--keep moving, keep making progress, or you're--or you're just dead, and you don't even know why. Like people are gonna say...you let it happen. But then this shit happens, and it's--like, just trying to do something almost got...it didn't accomplish anything. Just made things worse. Made you think you had to...y'know."