Clementine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
waitin) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2018-10-07 03:26 pm
waitin) wrote in entrancelogs2018-10-07 03:26 pm
[ota] it's easier than just waitin around to die
Who: Clementine + ota
Where: throughout Wonderland
When: October, outside of events, past Oct 9th
Summary: Clementine returns to Wonderland after years at home.
Warnings: PG-13. cursing, mentions of violence.
The story::
The Event ends, and Clementine feels the ramifications of it like a wave crashing over her. She admitted what she hadn't before. It is her fault- What AJ did. He's too young, but she taught him, and she taught him wrong. She taught him too plainly. She didn't teach him the details and differences, and that blood is on her hands. And she never blamed Louis for being so angry at her because she was always angrier at herself. She still feels guilty about it even if Louis forgave her, forgave her enough for the both of them to have their moment at the piano- the kiss. That she still remembers despite the fact the whole night went to hell after that.
When the Event ends, she purposefully seeks out all her friends- all the people that she met here who she loves- who she cares about. She seeks them out. It's been years, and some part of her needs to know they're okay. She needs to find them so they know she's okay in turn- as okay as she can be.
Of course, a search only results in her finding people who are missing. Tim. Jay. It's heartbreaking. It's terrible. They all said they were family, and they're gone. Maybe that's why she can be find destroying every last fucking inch of the Destruction Room. She's tired of losing people. She's tired of not being able to say goodbye. She destroys so much she ends up with a cut.
And she sits outside in the hallway with a first aid kit at hand, trying to wrap a bandage around a bloody hand as she thinks of Tim (someone who knew her better than anyone else, someone who she told all that shit that she could never manage to speak out loud to anyone else), as she thinks of Jay (he died. he's dead back there). She shudders, and blood spurts up from the cut on her hand, and she does her best to clean it with the antiseptic inside, letting out a low noise. And then she pulls the bandage out to cover it too.
Later she ends up in the kitchen. Whenever she comes back from her own world, she tries to figure out how to start eating food again without eating too much. She doesn't create a feast like before- like the first time, but she does stand at the closet, frowning, trying to decide.
A cookie? A cheeseburger?
What one food does she want to try to remind her of what food can taste like? Her stomach audibly growls. It's been awhile since she ate, but that doesn't make this decision any easier nor does it have her making her choice now- AJ will be hungry still. She can't bring this food back to the school house. Her hand slides over her face with a huff of a sound, shutting the closet behind her and pressing her back there.
Shit.
Where: throughout Wonderland
When: October, outside of events, past Oct 9th
Summary: Clementine returns to Wonderland after years at home.
Warnings: PG-13. cursing, mentions of violence.
The story::
The Event ends, and Clementine feels the ramifications of it like a wave crashing over her. She admitted what she hadn't before. It is her fault- What AJ did. He's too young, but she taught him, and she taught him wrong. She taught him too plainly. She didn't teach him the details and differences, and that blood is on her hands. And she never blamed Louis for being so angry at her because she was always angrier at herself. She still feels guilty about it even if Louis forgave her, forgave her enough for the both of them to have their moment at the piano- the kiss. That she still remembers despite the fact the whole night went to hell after that.
When the Event ends, she purposefully seeks out all her friends- all the people that she met here who she loves- who she cares about. She seeks them out. It's been years, and some part of her needs to know they're okay. She needs to find them so they know she's okay in turn- as okay as she can be.
Of course, a search only results in her finding people who are missing. Tim. Jay. It's heartbreaking. It's terrible. They all said they were family, and they're gone. Maybe that's why she can be find destroying every last fucking inch of the Destruction Room. She's tired of losing people. She's tired of not being able to say goodbye. She destroys so much she ends up with a cut.
And she sits outside in the hallway with a first aid kit at hand, trying to wrap a bandage around a bloody hand as she thinks of Tim (someone who knew her better than anyone else, someone who she told all that shit that she could never manage to speak out loud to anyone else), as she thinks of Jay (he died. he's dead back there). She shudders, and blood spurts up from the cut on her hand, and she does her best to clean it with the antiseptic inside, letting out a low noise. And then she pulls the bandage out to cover it too.
Later she ends up in the kitchen. Whenever she comes back from her own world, she tries to figure out how to start eating food again without eating too much. She doesn't create a feast like before- like the first time, but she does stand at the closet, frowning, trying to decide.
A cookie? A cheeseburger?
What one food does she want to try to remind her of what food can taste like? Her stomach audibly growls. It's been awhile since she ate, but that doesn't make this decision any easier nor does it have her making her choice now- AJ will be hungry still. She can't bring this food back to the school house. Her hand slides over her face with a huff of a sound, shutting the closet behind her and pressing her back there.
Shit.