[It's not hard to figure out what his distress might be keyed from, why that realization might have been like some sort of subconscious blow. The creeping wirework of something outside of yourself, beyond your perception, beyond your control, becomes so inlaid and thorough and inescapable that you stop mapping out the boundaries of it, coming to assume that there simply aren't any.]
[Tim glances away.]
[There's not much he can do about that.]
You can't know. Not really.
[You can't know, for certain, that it's your fault, your doing. But it's easier. It's so, so much easier to assume as such. It boils it all down to one specific origin, that central fucking etiology, like the tumor that you'd need to excise.]
[He didn't need the benefit of hindsight. In the tracing of the steps he took, Tim understood with perfect clarity why Alex Kralie did any of it.]
no subject
[It's not hard to figure out what his distress might be keyed from, why that realization might have been like some sort of subconscious blow. The creeping wirework of something outside of yourself, beyond your perception, beyond your control, becomes so inlaid and thorough and inescapable that you stop mapping out the boundaries of it, coming to assume that there simply aren't any.]
[Tim glances away.]
[There's not much he can do about that.]
You can't know. Not really.
[You can't know, for certain, that it's your fault, your doing. But it's easier. It's so, so much easier to assume as such. It boils it all down to one specific origin, that central fucking etiology, like the tumor that you'd need to excise.]
[He didn't need the benefit of hindsight. In the tracing of the steps he took, Tim understood with perfect clarity why Alex Kralie did any of it.]
You can never really know.