[Jay catches Tim's look, just for a moment, before he silently resumes picking at the velcro strips holding the camera grip together.]
[It's not the worst thing in the world. That's the bar.]
[Rrrrip.]
Guess you're right.
[He rubs his thumb against the strip of fabric, letting the hooks dig and scrape at his skin.]
I mean. [A quiet huff of breath--not quite a laugh, but an attempt at irony. An attempt to undercut the way his shoulders tense and his temples ache just trying to piece together the scraps of coherent thought that place allowed him.]
We've both seen what's worse.
[And that's it, isn't it? They both know how it feels to have it burrow its roots into your skull, to feel them wind around each nerve. They both know how it feels to be torn apart so utterly you can't describe it after--not because it's too painful to remember, but because you can't keep the thoughts stitched in order long enough to remember how painful it was. Tim got out (in a sense), and Jay didn't (in a sense), but they still know. To the best of their ability, they still remember.]
[Softly, mumbled towards the table, Jay says something else. With his nails dug into the camera grip, he says something else.]
no subject
[It's not the worst thing in the world. That's the bar.]
[Rrrrip.]
Guess you're right.
[He rubs his thumb against the strip of fabric, letting the hooks dig and scrape at his skin.]
I mean. [A quiet huff of breath--not quite a laugh, but an attempt at irony. An attempt to undercut the way his shoulders tense and his temples ache just trying to piece together the scraps of coherent thought that place allowed him.]
We've both seen what's worse.
[And that's it, isn't it? They both know how it feels to have it burrow its roots into your skull, to feel them wind around each nerve. They both know how it feels to be torn apart so utterly you can't describe it after--not because it's too painful to remember, but because you can't keep the thoughts stitched in order long enough to remember how painful it was. Tim got out (in a sense), and Jay didn't (in a sense), but they still know. To the best of their ability, they still remember.]
[Softly, mumbled towards the table, Jay says something else. With his nails dug into the camera grip, he says something else.]
I missed you.