"Look. TV told me that he would love it, and I figured 'hey TV has never lied to me before' so I went for it," he shakes his head in faux sorry. "I learned a valuable lesson that day. Cartoons? They're not always true. A shocker, I know. I was shocked."

He loves his ugly ass turtle no matter what. He's absolutely picking it up and making cooing noises at it. He misses Geoff, okay. He looks up at her, grin wide.

"You bet! I have simple needs and today those simple needs have been met."