Dead, the vital detail the angel didn’t have the balls to say out loud. Dead, because John Winchester had left them alone and exposed. Dead, because the people who should have been fighting for her had been too busy playing politics to save somebody who deserved to be saved more than any of them did.
Adam nodded, like he'd known all along, even as he took a deep breath and turned away, so Castiel wouldn't see the hot rush of tears to his eyes again, almost too much to reign in. The very last pure emotion he could feel without it being tainted by the rest.
He'd waited a long time to ask, and for an answer guaranteed to disappoint him. But the not knowing... The not knowing had been enough to get by on for a long while. He'd tried. Although Sam and Dean had stopped the angels' plan, he'd tried, and he'd gone to Hell, and wasn't that enough for him to earn what Zachariah had promised? Hadn't he done enough?
No.
He'd sacrificed everything, and she was still dead. He believed it. He'd gotten used to the taste of bitter pills. If he was alive and she was dead, it was Hell all over again, just in a different place and in a different way.
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Dead, the vital detail the angel didn’t have the balls to say out loud. Dead, because John Winchester had left them alone and exposed. Dead, because the people who should have been fighting for her had been too busy playing politics to save somebody who deserved to be saved more than any of them did.
Adam nodded, like he'd known all along, even as he took a deep breath and turned away, so Castiel wouldn't see the hot rush of tears to his eyes again, almost too much to reign in. The very last pure emotion he could feel without it being tainted by the rest.
He'd waited a long time to ask, and for an answer guaranteed to disappoint him. But the not knowing... The not knowing had been enough to get by on for a long while. He'd tried. Although Sam and Dean had stopped the angels' plan, he'd tried, and he'd gone to Hell, and wasn't that enough for him to earn what Zachariah had promised? Hadn't he done enough?
No.
He'd sacrificed everything, and she was still dead. He believed it. He'd gotten used to the taste of bitter pills. If he was alive and she was dead, it was Hell all over again, just in a different place and in a different way.