[Blake hadn't come expecting to change anything. The implications attached to his actions in the future are heavy enough, so there's no lying to himself about the severity, or the fact that it rings strong and true as every bit the betrayal Dean says it is.
He doesn't know what it is that drives him and Crowley together, but he does know what drives him and Dean apart.
Blake swallows down a bitterness that has nothing to do with the drink. It's been so long since he's felt so lost and alone, he almost forgets what it feels like. But that's not the whole picture, and he knows it. He's not alone here. He's not loveless. He has family and he's wanted.
It all serves as a very good reminder.
He has to dip forward and carefully lift his glass to sip off the top. He neatens it up in order to keep that whiskey from spilling all over him, and then lets it hover in front of his lips for the time being.]
Wasn't a story for him. [But maybe he'll share anyway when his Dean comes back. And Blake's confident he will.] Was a story for you.
[He tips back the over-poured shot and it doesn't burn nearly as hot this time around. His empty stomach burbles in protest, but it's bound to do him favors if he's looking to get drunk fast.]
Night I cried — night Dad walked out — knew I'd made a mistake. Wished so many times I could take it back, that I could go back, 'cause fixin' that woulda meant fixin' somethin'. Not even everythin', but somethin'.
Woulda gave anythin' to go back. For a second chance.
[Lo and behold...]
Want you to know, I'd do anythin' for you. Die for you, go to bat for you. Was anyone else, and I mean anyone else, I'd've thrown 'em out on their ass or somethin'.
[This time, he reaches for the bottle, hands out the refills. He can't look at Dean. He can't look at anything but that drink. But he uses Dean's words, and does so with the utmost sincerity.]
But you know. Know now.
Know you know.
[It's almost a request, some hope that Dean can harbor enough trust to believe this one thing for the future. It might not fix anything, but if it prevents the walls from crumbling, then Blake will take it.
no subject
He doesn't know what it is that drives him and Crowley together, but he does know what drives him and Dean apart.
Blake swallows down a bitterness that has nothing to do with the drink. It's been so long since he's felt so lost and alone, he almost forgets what it feels like. But that's not the whole picture, and he knows it. He's not alone here. He's not loveless. He has family and he's wanted.
It all serves as a very good reminder.
He has to dip forward and carefully lift his glass to sip off the top. He neatens it up in order to keep that whiskey from spilling all over him, and then lets it hover in front of his lips for the time being.]
Wasn't a story for him. [But maybe he'll share anyway when his Dean comes back. And Blake's confident he will.] Was a story for you.
[He tips back the over-poured shot and it doesn't burn nearly as hot this time around. His empty stomach burbles in protest, but it's bound to do him favors if he's looking to get drunk fast.]
Night I cried — night Dad walked out — knew I'd made a mistake. Wished so many times I could take it back, that I could go back, 'cause fixin' that woulda meant fixin' somethin'. Not even everythin', but somethin'.
Woulda gave anythin' to go back. For a second chance.
[Lo and behold...]
Want you to know, I'd do anythin' for you. Die for you, go to bat for you. Was anyone else, and I mean anyone else, I'd've thrown 'em out on their ass or somethin'.
[This time, he reaches for the bottle, hands out the refills. He can't look at Dean. He can't look at anything but that drink. But he uses Dean's words, and does so with the utmost sincerity.]
But you know. Know now.
Know you know.
[It's almost a request, some hope that Dean can harbor enough trust to believe this one thing for the future. It might not fix anything, but if it prevents the walls from crumbling, then Blake will take it.
For this, he'll take it.]