righteously: ([Neutral] Empathy)
ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛᴇᴏᴜs ᴍᴀɴ ( ᴊᴇɴɴɪғᴇʀ ᴀɴᴋʟᴇs ) ([personal profile] righteously) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs 2013-12-20 04:10 pm (UTC)

[Those eyes are every bit the same as John remembers because, like it or not, he is that same person he was so many years ago. He's exactly the same, just as John is exactly the same, just as Wonderland is every bid the same Wonderland. A tomorrow can make all the difference, and Dean's just Dean several thousand tomorrows from now. He spends so much of his time forcing down who he was, forcing down those familial relationships- when in reality, that's what he used to define himself. Keeping people alive, keeping people safe, that's what made him who he was, and when he failed to do that on such a massive scale... when that slipped through his fingers...

Well, he lost touch with the man he's tried so hard to be.

He's become this, and a small part of him, a small piece floating at the back of his mind? Hates himself for it. Hates what he's become. Hates everything about this. It's that small part that reaches out, now, to guarantee that promise from a friend he still loves desperately despite all of it. Despite everything that went down.

It's that part that nods slowly, sincerely, one intense dip of the chin in acceptance and approval.]


Good.

[He responds softly, seriously, and then his eyes drop away. Go back to ogling that whiskey in his hands, gripped tight as he breathes a slow in and out, trying to wrap his head around it all.

Good.

Then it's done. Then half of the shit he's been carrying is relieved. Or, at least, a good portion of it. It's a step taken that he might not have accomplished on his own, not without Blake's tenacity, a step he wouldn't even admit to himself he wanted to take because of his own douchey pride and his own wounded spirit.

There's a reason John meant so much to him, and meeting him like this to fix it rather than being permanently disuaded by the things he'd said and the man he'd become? It's a shining example of that.

But that's for a younger man to benefit from. His time has come and past, and his friend died years ago.

So, quietly, he drinks for the man he lost. Whiskey is the drink men drink to punish themselves.]

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