thneedifestdestiny: No One Knows I'm Gone - Tom Waits (All the trees are gone)
The Once-ler ([personal profile] thneedifestdestiny) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs 2015-02-20 03:38 am (UTC)

The Once-ler | Room 398, 10th floor | OTA

No matter what time of day it is in Wonderland, it is perpetually two in the afternoon in the Once-ler's room. The sun is shining bright, Swomee-Swans and Humming-Fish are singing, and there are trees as far as the eye can see. Only one tree has been chopped down so far, and around it rocks have been arranged into a circle as a sort of makeshift grave. His donkey Melvin is there. Even the Lorax himself is there, playing cards with some of the animals and talking to a tall space that isn't there.

The Once-ler's humble cottage-tent is there and that is where he wakes up in the morning. And when he opens his eyes and sees where he is, he bolts right out of his bed in his pajamas and out the door, where he stares in disbelief at everything around him. And then...then he sinks down to the ground so he can just sit and sob for a moment.

It's an odd place to be in. It's not a second chance - he figures that out very quickly when things start looping around over and over. Still, it's a chance to be in the valley the way it was meant to be, the way it should have stayed. He remembers this day well, and the strange period that followed it. He had just given up on actually trying to sell his Thneed to the people of...of whatever that town was called. They hadn't appreciated it, and the sign Melvin had worn was covered in tomato stains to prove it. But giving up left him in a weird place, with nowhere to go. Home was an option, but it wasn't a good one. He would have just been ridiculed for failing, and he couldn't take all the "I told you so"s. But...for a brief time, the Once-ler thought that maybe he could just live in the valley forever. Maybe he didn't have to go home. He had friends...kind of...? And living out there wasn't so bad really. Even the Lorax, who had been so against him being there at all, didn't try to kick him out (again) as soon as he failed. He told him he'd given it his best shot, which is more support than his family had ever shown him. That's even more clear, now that the Once-ler knows they abandoned him the second his money was gone.

He could have had this. He could have had all of this if hadn't gone and mucked everything up. He could have lived in this beautiful place and had hundreds, thousands of lazy peaceful days just like this one. But, he blew it. The Truffula Valley will never look like this again.

There's a door off in the distance, standing up in the middle of nowhere, but he ignores it. He has absolutely no intention of leaving this memory until he absolutely has to. His emotions are all over the place. He might be found taking a walk through the trees and just admiring the scenery, happy to see real, live Truffula trees. He plays that card game over and over (which is probably cheating), eager to spend any time with the Lorax even if he can only do the same thing on repeat. But sometimes that dissolves into more regret and anguish - there's only so many times he can hear he did the best he could when he knows that in the long run that isn't true at all. Sometimes he even shouts at the Lorax with anger bleeding in from somewhere he can't quite identify, demanding to know why he left him alone with some stupid word that he doesn't know the significance of. These episodes are brief though, and usually followed by more guilt. And sometimes he just lays on the ground, feeling the wind blow through the grass around him and the sun on his face, enjoying the ability to breathe. Eventually, he sits up and watches his piglet Boris run around and try to play with animals that don't seem to see he's there.

His memory is making him absolutely miserable, but he's sure that to some degree he deserves that. He deserves all of this, but he's missed this place so much that he can't make himself leave.

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