Alex is fine. His nose is throbbing with the impact against the ground, sure, and he's disgruntled by the fact that he has the Gravity Falls equivalent of stars dancing around his head as he lies here, but sometimes you just have to take a minute to examine the bleak empty pit of despair your life has become. And hence, the lifeless lying on the ground.

But eventually someone has to come along, and Alex realizes he'll have to try to move again, so he wearily drags himself to his feet. There's a sluggish ooze of blood trailing from his nose to his upper lip. Is it broken? He doesn't care.

"Buddy, they've been doing this all day," he says with the world-weary dullness that comes with being pursued by these fuckers for literal hours, then stops. Hang on a second, it's That Guy. "Wait, uh - do I know you?"