Alex is stunned into similar silence for a long moment. Several moments. He raises his eyebrows skeptically. Is this for real?

Oh yeah. It's for real.

This day might not be such a waste after all.

"Well," says Alex lightly, after those several...minutes it takes to process. "It's certainly different."

It takes some concentrated effort to keep a straight face as he turns and looks at Stan with as much innocent curiosity as he can possibly bring to bear. "You glue that dong on yourself, or did it come preshrunk?"