circlejerked: (↯ flickering flame casting shadows)
Anders ([personal profile] circlejerked) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs 2016-04-29 06:31 am (UTC)

Yes, it was certainly an experience...

[Anders' hedges his answer. He's quick to talk about most things, but feelings--namely his feelings--don't make for the best conversation. Too thin and bitter, like a tasteless broth.]

If there was a way to push them to the back of my mind, I wasn't in a state to figure it out. [He laughs, a sheepish puff of breath, and smoothes his fingers over the cat's head.] And there's something about having the choice to deaden your emotions that gives me the creeps. We have something like that where I'm from. A means to separate someone from their emotions permanently. It's used as a punishment, and the end result isn't pretty.

[If his feelings aren't any prettier, they're still his. Doing a lesser version of the Rite of Tranquility to himself doesn't feel right--what if it hadn't gone back to normal? Being divorced from everything that makes him him is the worst thing he can imagine.]

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