grahamalytical: (I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead)
Will Graham ([personal profile] grahamalytical) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs2016-06-27 02:55 am

[ open ] green gardens are not what's growing in my psyche

Who: Will Graham & YOU!
Where: gardens, various hallways, the bar
When: 6/27
Rating: PG-13 probably?
Summary: When he wakes in the garden dressed like a hospital in-patient, Will believes that he's trapped in one of his own dreams or hallucinations. Even after gaining information about Wonderland, he doesn't entirely believe that this is reality but makes the most of his lucid state to do a bit of exploring and, naturally, stop off at the bar to take the edge off his nerves.
The Story:

arrival; gardens;
[ Awake for maybe two whole minutes, and he's already wondering if he's still asleep. Not that this is necessarily an uncommon state for him to be in, but it's never a comfortable one. That uncertainty, that feeling like you're absolutely awake but the world around you isn't right... It's horrible. It's even frightening, on some level. Everything feels and looks utterly real, but none of it can possibly be. None of it makes any sense. None of it fits in any way. In these circumstances, everything is even more surreal than it usually is when he 'wakes up' feeling this way.

Will knows for a fact that he didn't fall asleep or pass out on a bench in a garden. He knows that it wasn't the middle of summer, that things around him hadn't been green, much less so perfectly planted and pruned. There had absolutely not been any massive mansion in the distance, and he hadn't been in a hospital gown. This definitely feels like a dream. Why else would he be in a hospital gown in the middle of the garden of an unfamiliar mansion? It wouldn't be the first time he woke up somewhere unfamiliar, but it would be the first time it happened while looking like he'd escaped from some doctors.

It's a dream. It's a dream. It has to be a dream. It can't even be a hallucination--...Probably. He hasn't had one this expansive before, at least. Whatever the case, either one, none of it can be real. It just can't.

Sucking in a deep breath, he pushes himself up and off of the bench, noting that he can feel the wood grain just before his hands leave it. The grass under bare feet feels all too real--soft and cool, even a little damp with morning dew. Just the sensations alone, these few sensations make the whole thing seem too detailed for a dream, or anything that his mind could come up with. He may have a vivid imagination, but Will doesn't think even he could manage all of this. Yet he has no other explanation.

He starts walking. If he moves, maybe he'll finally hit the end of...whatever it is that this is, exactly. ...Usually he doesn't dream or see things quite so...cheerful. Wandering through the garden, no doubt looking the opposite of perfectly sane, dressed the way he is, he glances around at the plants without really seeing them. Is this it? Is he finally just trapped inside his own head? No escaping back to reality? That's simultaneously terrifying and relieving. He's not quite sure which feeling to react on.

It's the helplessness. The helplessness of the situation is what tips him over into terrified. There's nothing that he can do. If he's stuck, if he's trapped, all there is to do is to wait and see what happens. He can't actively do anything and get himself out. That's how it's been this whole time. As he's slowly been sinking deeper and deeper, his state of mind getting worse and worse, he's been entirely helpless in all of it. Nothing actively made a difference beyond making things worse.

All he can do is wait.

By now, it looks even less like Will has a destination in mind. He appears very much lost and incredibly shaken. He's actually shaking, physically, though he's trying to get a grip on it--but then, does it really matter how panicked you look when you're in your own mind? Maybe he doesn't bother putting that much effort in to it, since he doesn't expect there to be other people around to see him in this state. ]



various hallways;
[ He's got the gist of things now. Mostly. That's not to say he really believes them to be reality, because he is absolutely remaining skeptical of that fact, but it does mean that he has the basis of what this place, presumably within a dream is like. The rules that it runs on. That's enough to have him calmed down from the panic he'd been in on arrival. He's not calm, but he's calmer and, as far as Will's concerned, that's what matters.

On the first four floors, he'll still be dressed in nothing more than the pale green hospital gown he arrived in. He's heard of the fabled 'magic' closets, but has yet to actually try one. He's less worried about selecting a room right now than he is about poking around inside the mansion. The level of detail inside is just as high as that outside, and it continues to baffle him--his dreams are really never this detailed or...big. Yet he's been wandering this long and has still yet to be pulled back to wakefulness. On these floors, Will can be found peeking his head in open doors, looking around the halls cautiously, and still looking like an escaped patient. Have fun with that, if you want.

From the fifth floor and on, he'll be properly clothed. Finally. On the fifth floor he relents and picks the first available room to be his. It's not as though he thinks it matters all that much. Not while he's of the opinion that he's either dreaming or completely lost his mind and none of this is real. But, with a room picked, he has access to a closet and thus has been able to try the closets and, surprise, they work. He's definitely not anywhere real.

Like the fourth floor and below, the fifth floor and on will essentially see him exploring the mansion. Now it's more for the sake of getting a layout of the building in mind, just in case he is trapped here longer than he expects to be, but the exploration is equally as cautious as it was downstairs. ]



bar;
[ By the time he makes it back down to the bar, a basic layout of the mansion in mind, Will looks little more than tired. And he is tired. This has been a lot to handle in one day. ...Dream. Dream-day. He's honestly not even sure what he's considering this place anymore. It can easily be a dream, his spreading insanity, or... Who knows? Maybe it really is real. At this point, he's too tired to care all that much about labels.

Getting a drink, something strong, he takes a seat at a table near a wall, somewhere toward the back of the bar, and rubs at his face with his hands. He's at a loss. He really is. It feels like he really can't be certain of anything anymore, be it one of his own thoughts or something he sees right in front of himself. It all feels so...up in the air. What's possible? What's impossible? One day here, and he's already struggling to be sure he can label anything as either.

A breath, and Will lowers his hands, taking a quick swig from his glass. He notes the taste is the same as it's ever been, and the faint burning sensation of the alcohol feels as real as ever. But he doesn't fuss over it. Not for now. For now...he's mentally drained and just wants to take some of the edge off. ]

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