[Closed]

[eatsyourscience]

Who: Kanji [cuteshit] & Souji [eatsyourscience]
Where: Souji's room (for once, not the diner)
When: June 30
Rating: PG? Because Kanji cusses sometimes
Summary: Souji needs some assistance with research
The Story:
Awhile back, Souji had talked to Princess Bubblegum about the memories Wonderland has stolen from him. There seem to be so many--and in most cases, he has no idea what he's lost. After thinking about what his events actually were, he knows he's going to need help figuring out which words he can't remember.

Luckily, there's a Kanji for that. It's not that Souji wasn't happy to have Kanji in Wonderland--he was pretty ecstatic, actually, though it would have been hard to tell. But this really makes him appreciate having someone from home, especially someone from the investigation team.

He'd asked Kanji to come by his room sometime soon to help him with a project. He hadn't been too specific about what the project would entail--it would be easier to explain when they actually met up--but did mention it was about the events from their world. Souji thought that, if they managed to get through what he was hoping to accomplish, they might brainstorm about what other events might come from their world. It would be helpful to have some ideas about what might be coming.

After figuring out when to meet up, Souji makes sure he's actually there when the time comes. The room is almost identical to his room at his uncle's house, with the exception of the small, but fat gray dragon that's napping on his couch. He's sitting on the floor in front of the couch, folding some paper into origami butterflies--he's trying to branch out from cranes--with his back against the front of the couch and the dragon's sleeping breath occasionally ruffling his hair. On the table in front of him is a notebook and pen, along with a few snacks, just in case.

Comments

[cuteshit]

His eyes widen as the realization of just how terrible that would be fully dawns on him. Real shadows. The fate Ameno-Sagiri thought mankind was best suited for.

"Shit," he says eloquently, grimacing. "That's-- what happened then?"

[eatsyourscience]

"It didn't really have a conclusion. Things got worse over a few days, and then went back to normal suddenly."

It was just like so many events. They start out seemingly innocent, if not irritating, and then get much worse one way or another, and then, usually, they're just over.

"The last one had the other kind of Shadows. They just followed us around and let people know what we were really thinking all the time."

[cuteshit]

"Just-- talked?"

It almost sounds too good to be true. Annoying as hell, sure, especially considering some of the thoughts most people kept to themselves, but at least nobody wound up dead-- at least, not from the sounds of it.

"Alright. So we gotta figure out what memories went missing for those two. Obviously it ain't the word 'Shadow,' you remember that just fine."

[eatsyourscience]

"That's all they did, but it was a little more complicated for the people who had to listen to it."

Who wants to be confronted with the worst parts of themselves? Perhaps even worse, who wants to be confronted with the worst parts of someone close to them? Or what those people really think of them deep down.

"Right. With the others, there was usually some gap when I tried to explain it." That clearly isn't the case with these two.

[cuteshit]

His frown pulls deeper as he leans forward to hunch against the table, folding his arms in front of them and resting his weight against the surface. "If they ain't leavin' any gaps, then how are we supposed to figure it out?" he thinks aloud, although the question is rhetorical at best. If Souji knew, he wouldn't need Kanji's help in the first place.

He grunts softly, staring down at the notebook in front of him as though it might offer answers. "What about-- places? Like where things happened back home? You remember 'Inaba' and 'TV,' so the fog thing didn't take those away, but maybe something else?"

[eatsyourscience]

Perhaps surprisingly, Souji hadn't thought of that. He gives Kanji a small smile that's both praise and gratitude, then holds up a hand and uses his fingers to tick off places in Inaba first. He'll move on to the TV world after that.

Starting with his right thumb, he puts fingers down as he starts his list.

"There's Yasogami high school, Yasogami shrine, Okina City, the Samegawa, Junes..."

He's run out of fingers and looks up at Kanji, expectant. It's not that he has no more places to name, but that he doesn't want to leave Kanji out of the process.

[cuteshit]

Kanji mimics Souji's own behavior, ticking locations off his own fingers after scribbling the list Souji had already offered at the bottom corner of the page in front of him.

"Uh, the train station," Kanji supplies, looking upwards for a brief moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. "Then the stuff in the TV world! Like, uh, the castle, or that weird video game, and that messed-up Inaba."

He'll just avoid mentioning the bathhouse for now.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji nods, trying to think of what those places had actually been called. The castle was easy, and the game was the Void Quest, and the messed-up Inaba was ▓░▒░▓▒▒

It was ▓░▓▒▒░▒

"Do you remember the name of that last place?"

[cuteshit]

That's a red flag if he ever-- heard one? Was that even the right way to put it?

"Uh," Kanji starts again, stalling out a little as he echoes himself. "Lemme think. Not like, bizarro-Inaba, or Shadow Inaba, it was something like... Mugatsu? Magatsu Inaba?"

[eatsyourscience]

Damn it.

"That has to be it."

Still, he's a little proud they got that one. Kanji's got great intuition about this kind of thing.

"Then there's only one more. The one with our own Shadows following us."

[cuteshit]

If nothing else, Kanji is good about following his gut. He exhales, settling into another frown. That one is going to be tough.

"Alright. Shadows. ... not even sure to start with that one."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji considers that. The last one was locations so...

"Personas?" He has so many that could take forever, but he never had a Shadow at home, so maybe it would be someone else's Persona.

[cuteshit]

"You mean like one of their names or somethin'?"

Kanji looks like he's actually considering that angle for a moment, although his face falls again immediately afterwards, discouraged.

"You had like a million of those, I don't think I'd remember even half of 'em even without an event takin' the memory away."

[eatsyourscience]

"...I have a deck of cards."

He'd need to get up and find it, but he does, somewhere in his room, have an entire deck of cards, each of which features one of his Personas on one side.

He shakes his head though, dismissing that thought. That's something that would be cool to show to Kanji--it's a real possibility he hasn't actually seen all of Souji's Personas--but it wouldn't be all that helpful right now.

"What about everyone else's? Your Personas came from your Shadows."

[cuteshit]

"That's useful," Kanji remarks, rubbing at the back of his neck again as he shifts his weight. He'd have to get a look at that sometime. "But yeah, ours were different from yours, huh? Happened the same way for all of us, but you-- you didn't have to face your Shadow. What happened when yours woke up?" Maybe the answer was somewhere inside that memory?

[eatsyourscience]

"Izanagi?" Souji doesn't really have to think about it--he remembers clearly. "When Yousuke and I went into the TV world the first time, a couple of shadows attacked us. I reacted instinctively, I guess, and summoned him."

'Instinct' is the only word he can think of for it in retrospect. He can't remember how he knew the Persona was there in the first place. Except...

He glances to one side, drawing together the threads of memory he has about the beginning of that year. His voice comes out sounding vague, like there's something important he can't quite grasp.

"...The night before that, I heard his voice in my head."

[cuteshit]

The shift in his voice is enough to make Kanji think that whatever it is Souji can't quite grab hold of in that memory must be important, and he leans forward against the table as he reaches for his pen again.

"His voice," he echoes, a frown pulling at either corner of his lips. "You remember anything he said?"

[eatsyourscience]

Souji shakes his head. "Not all of it. I remember something like...'I am thou,' in really archaic speech. But there was something that came before it."

[cuteshit]

"I am thou," Kanji murmurs under his breath, thoughtful as he repeats Souji yet again. He vaguely remembers an echo of something similar when he'd accepted his own Shadow, awakened his own Persona. "... thou art I?"

[eatsyourscience]

"...Whatever you just said must be it."

Somehow, that one hurts in a way the others didn't. If his connection to Izanagi was threatened by this place, then nothing about him--his memories, his physical body, his sanity--was safe.

[cuteshit]

He frowns again, seeing the shift in Souji and knowing that this one was different from all the rest. He leans forward, starting to reach across the table before he thinks better of it, retracting his hand.

"Hey, senpai... you okay?"

[eatsyourscience]

Souji's quiet for what feels to him like just a moment, but it's a long enough moment to be telling. He wishes Kanji hadn't pulled his hand back because, for once, he could have used it. It's rare for him to be on the receiving side of comforting gestures, and he's not sure what he would have done, but it might have helped somehow.

"Izanagi is me. I don't want to lose that."

Of course, all of his Personas are parts of him, fragments of something he used to think was empty. Izanagi is different, though.

[cuteshit]

"Hey."

Kanji shifts his weight, sitting on his knees so he can lean forward across the table, both hands laid flat against the surface. Comfort might not have been his strong suit, but he was nothing if not blunt. He could offer something.

"He's still in there, ain't he? You're not losing him. So you lost some words. And I know they seem important, but-- if you look inside, you still feel him, right?"

[eatsyourscience]

Souji blinks up at Kanji once and then smiles. It's the tiniest of smiles. There's some relief and some chagrin in it. Of course, he should have expected this from the beginning. Kanji's brand of handling things isn't always the best choice, but right now... Right now it was exactly what Souji needed.

"You're right."

He'd let things get the better of him. It was hard not to after five years. But five years hadn't taken Izanagi away from him, even if, like Kanji said, it had take some words. His worries aren't illegitimate, but they aren't something he needs to dwell on as much as he has been.

"Thank you."

[cuteshit]

"Hey, no prob."

Kanji's tendency to oversimplify things wasn't always the best way to handle a given situation, but he smiles in turn when he sees that it seems to have done the trick-- hesitant but genuine, glad to know that he was able to help Souji even a fraction of the amount Souji had helped him over time.

"You've been here awhile, right?" Five years definitely qualified as 'awhile.' "Seems like after all that time, it'd be easy to think about things a little too much. Missin' home, and not knowing what this place might've taken away from you. But you ain't alone here, senpai. Whatever happens, I'm gonna make sure you don't forget the stuff that's real important."