[ All the thinking Bucky’s been doing lately, mostly about Steve, always leads him back to how they are together – what he’d bring to the table if they had a relationship. He still can’t shake the feeling that he’ll never be good enough for Steve, and all the guilt that he carries is nothing to what he’s pressed onto Steve’s shoulders on his behalf. He knows it’s Steve’s choice as much as it is his own. These reminders of the mistakes he’d made, soldier or not, and how Steve still wants him, show him that if he puts effort into it, they could make a go of it. It might not always be great, but it could be good. He’d give it his all. The only problem is that he has to work up the nerve to tell Steve.
Maybe after they talk about what's keeping Steve up at night. Maybe after they have that drink.
Bucky feels Steve move, spreads his fingers and curls them around his best friend’s hand. If the conversation wasn’t so heavy, nightmares and the real life experiences that had inspired them weren’t a part of it, Bucky could probably fall back asleep like this. Steve pressed up against his side and half sitting up, but Sibera isn’t a relaxing topic. His eyes open, flick to the man beside him.]
Stark?
[It was a guess. It was what Bucky thinks of when he hears Siberia. The man's stillness while he'd watched that video, the expressions that flit across his face as he’d turned to look at Bucky, and how he’d reacted when he’d realized that Steve had known. It’s the reason the Bucky has kept his distance here. Tony deserved time to grieve and decide what he wanted to do about it all.
He hates how something HYDRA did years ago is still effecting the people around him, how it’ll continue to do so for a long time.]
no subject
Maybe after they talk about what's keeping Steve up at night. Maybe after they have that drink.
Bucky feels Steve move, spreads his fingers and curls them around his best friend’s hand. If the conversation wasn’t so heavy, nightmares and the real life experiences that had inspired them weren’t a part of it, Bucky could probably fall back asleep like this. Steve pressed up against his side and half sitting up, but Sibera isn’t a relaxing topic. His eyes open, flick to the man beside him.]
Stark?
[It was a guess. It was what Bucky thinks of when he hears Siberia. The man's stillness while he'd watched that video, the expressions that flit across his face as he’d turned to look at Bucky, and how he’d reacted when he’d realized that Steve had known. It’s the reason the Bucky has kept his distance here. Tony deserved time to grieve and decide what he wanted to do about it all.
He hates how something HYDRA did years ago is still effecting the people around him, how it’ll continue to do so for a long time.]
Have you talked about it?