readytocomply: buckybear @ lj (92)
Bucky Barnes ([personal profile] readytocomply) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs 2016-12-16 02:56 am (UTC)

[Bucky would ask, he wants to know, but he doesn't think he has any right to. Mettaton has a history, they both do, and as much as he wants to be a part of everything, he can't. He's already ruined things and Bucky's not good anymore at fixing what he breaks.

He lets himself be pulled through the room, tense and on edge, sure feet carrying him away from all these strangers he might hurt and putting him in a quiet, private place with someone that he cares about and has already treated like shit.]


No.

[It was better, they weren't around all those innocent people anymore, but they were alone again and Bucky didn't want that either.]

We should've never done any of this.

[The tension slowly starts to seep out, replaced instead by pain and a longing to have normal relationships with other people. He'd told himself that he'd only be trouble for Mettaton in the end, and because he'd started to truly care about him, he'd made that trouble all on his own. Hydra hadn't ruined it, he had. He didn't need any help to be cruel. There was nobody he could blame this time.]

Can't you see how messed up I am? [He swallows roughly, dragging his hand across the back of his neck.] I start to care about someone and I push them away. I tell myself, and you, that it's better if we aren't friends, if we hate each other, and how goddamn messed up is that?

You're the first person I let in and now I'm shovin' you right back out.

[His eyes are glassy, dull.]

I know it's wrong, what I'm doing, but I don't want to stop. I can't.

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