( OPEN ) if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

[enciphers]

Who: Ford Pines and YOU!
Where: Starting at the beach and then wherever you want.
When: 15/09
Rating: PG
Summary: Ford arrives in Wonderland and proceeds to run around to make sense of it, feel free to run into him literally or otherwise.
The Story:

It's almost like slipping into a dream, one moment in the waking world and then the next in a dreamscape. Stanford has had plenty of experiences with sleep deprivation and falling asleep in strange places in the blink of an eye that it wouldn't be strange to him if that's what happened. The scenery that greets him certainly is something that could be right out of a dream: beautiful blue waters, the sandy beach that stretches on and on, the peaceful dock he's standing on. Calm and soothing. But this isn't the mindscape. Stanford would know if it was, it lacks its usual tells.

For one, this isn't Glass Shard Beach. Whenever he dreams of a beach, it's always that of his childhood home. And secondly, it simply looks too real. Just to be sure that he hasn't been unwittingly drawn into the mindscape, he tries to imagine and conjure up a familiar boat among the few small ones bobbing about next to the docks.

Nothing happens.

He's not asleep and now he's left standing there, frowning, as realisation rapidly dawns on him. If it's not a dream, it can only be one other thing.

"No," the word slips past his lips unbidden, a quiet whisper of dread that grows louder as he goes on. "No, no, no, not again."

He whirls around, scanning his surroundings wildly. There's nothing he sees that he recognises and more importantly, there's a lack of a certain someone who had been right behind him only mere seconds ago. His brother is gone and he's no longer in Gravity Falls, the wrecked remains of his house nowhere in sight. He's in another dimension and he knows it. There may not have been the usual flashy shows of portals or anything, but Stanford knows.

Something went horribly, horribly wrong. Did the portal malfunction? Is this a consequence to fully opening it again, causing dimensions to bleed together so subtly one just slips into another without noticing? It's entirely possible and it makes Stanford's stomach sink. He's alone and stranded in another strange dimension yet again after only just getting home. It figures.

He won't let this get to him though, this is just more of the same and he's been doing this for years. He needs to figure out what dimension he's currently in and whether or not any of his family members were also drawn in. So, after quickly checking if he still has his gun and the first journal, he picks a direction where it seems the most likely to find civilisation in and he starts running, intent on stopping the nearest person or creature for answers.

Comments

LATER IN THE DAY~

[charlastan]

Stan, as usual, manages to miss most of the immediate commotion. It's not like he sits out at the docks like a nostalgic sad sack all day waiting for his missing brother to turn up out of nowhere. Nah, he's more proactive than that. He's got to get these kids home, where Ford is hopefully waiting for them.

This is why he's spent most of the day scoping out the vendors. He's not making any deals, not yet. He just wants to see what they've got, and if it's true they use memories for currency. The place is fascinating to look at - it reminds Stan of an upscale flea market, or some kind of bazaar in another country. There's stuff everywhere, shiny things that catch his eye, but every time he tries to palm something from a table it vanishes from his pocket - to the point where Stan actually stops and checks to make sure there isn't a hole there.

Goddamn magic mansion.

From what he gathers though, they do take money...kind of. To get anything good or useful from them though, he'd have to become a millionaire fast. Inflation in this world is bonkers and the forty bucks he stole from that FBI jerk would barely be able to buy a button for his suit. The creepy masked fellows have supply and demand figured out, and if he really wants anything here, he'll have to shell out a memory for it. Good to know, but not today.

He's there most of the day, but as he heads out to leave he spots a figure heading his way, one that makes him stop in his tracks. Stan squints to be absolutely sure, but there's no mistaking who it is. He'd know that nerd anywhere.

"...Ford?"

[enciphers]

It's been a very hectic day for Stanford Pines to say the least. From one dimension to the next and then another in the span of a few hours is a bit of a wild ride even for him. That's not to speak of all the reunions he's had to go through. Worst of all, there's still one left. Ford is more tired than he would like to admit, but he still has a knucklehead of a brother to find. And frankly he'd prefer to scope the place out before he gets comfortable in any way (if he ever does, it'll be hard to do so knowing Bill Cipher is around), so that's exactly what he does. He explores while keeping an eye out for Stanley, taking the opportunity to get some equilibrium back.

Wonderland is an interesting place, he'll give it that. If he'd encountered this dimension earlier during his travels, he might have been able to be more appreciative of its unique nature. As it stands, he's mostly just frustrated to be ripped from his home so rudely after only just getting back to it. It's a frustration that sticks with him, on top of the turmoil of everything else he's learned, and it wears at him throughout the day.

Briefly it's a relief when he finally spots his brother in the area of the vendors before it brings a flare of tired annoyance and Stanford makes a beeline right for him without hesitance.

"Stanley," he says pointedly, drawing to a halt in front of his twin and looking the very picture of put-upon as he places his hands on his hips. "There you are. I've been looking all over for you, I had to explain everything to the kids myself."

Which was a very confusing ordeal for everyone involved and it's likely that Stanley is in a similar situation as the twins—whatever that is, alternate universe or weird time anomalies, whichever—but Stanford doesn't even care at the moment.

[charlastan]

For once, Stanley actually doesn't say anything. He just stares, awed. He hasn't seen his brother in thirty years, and now he's right there, without any kind of fanfare or any portals ripping the universe apart. Stanley's absolutely stunned.

"Ford. You're actually here!" he says, a smile growing on his face. "After all this time, we're in the same dimension again!"

Sure, it's not the dimension they came from or wanted, but it's a start! Except...Ford doesn't look happy to see him. That snatches any good cheer he had away, and his stomach sinks. Thirty years, and he can't even pretend to be happy to see Stan?

"Wait. The kids? How do you even..." know the kids, is how he was going to finish that sentence, but he's not a complete idiot. He groans, and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Ugh. Time shenanigans. Great."

He went through this with the kids when he first got here, and the whole thing is a headache. Can't things just line up easily for once instead of being all complicated by magic and science? Stan's so sick of it. Wonderland can't even let him enjoy reuniting with his brother without something screwing it up.

[enciphers]

The awed stare says enough, really. Stanley is just like the kids in that they weren't taken from the same point in time as him. It's one more frustration to add to the list. After the long day he's had, he's not up for a repeat of the reunion he had already been through back in Gravity Falls mere hours ago. He watches, his own expression impassive, as Stanley's smile grows and then falls away again as realization dawns on his brother.

The fact that Stanley already knows about the time anomalies comes as a relief, a small mercy after everything, and it saves Ford the painful effort of having to try and explain the complicated mess they've found themselves falling into. Stanley's already caught on, that saves time and energy.

"Yes, indeed," he agrees, his tone reflecting that he shares the sentiment behind Stanley's words. Just great. He almost mirrors his brother's gesture, but he thinks better of it and instead presses on. No point in griping about it when it can't be changed.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

[charlastan]

Before Stanley answers, he subtly glances around. The last thing he wants right now is to find out the kids were in earshot, or anyone else who would be put off by all of the lying he's been doing.

"...I activated the portal," he finally says. "There was this bright light, and a huge gravity anomaly. We all lifted up in the air, and fell...and I landed on grass, in this dump."

Of course, that's not the story the kids know. They've been assuming that he's from the same moment in time they are, and he hasn't bothered to correct them. As far as they're concerned, he just fought off a bunch of zombies with them through the power of song. But if Ford knows the kids, then that means something important, something Stanley's worried about ever since he got to Wonderland.

"So...it worked?" he asks, excited just by the possibility of it. "The portal worked? I got you back to our dimension?"

That means he didn't screw it up and send himself to Wonderland, but above all that means that dumb portal really works, and that thirty years of hard work actually paid off. It means that if they can do it again, they've got an easy ticket out this world, and back to Gravity Falls. And maybe if actually means he'll have a life with his brother again, for the first time in over forty years.

[enciphers]

Stanford arches a brow at the way Stanley glances around, though he doesn't ask. He doesn't really care at this point, he just wants an answer to his question. The one he gets is something of a surprise. Well, at least they aren't too far apart on the time line, only an hour or so. That's good. Probably. It's still annoying that he essentially has to have the reunion all over again, but at least it's not like with the kids who were completely clueless. They didn't even know about the portal. The only problem here is that Stanley's oblivious to his anger.

Although he's not as angry as he was when freshly coming out of the portal, Stanley's excitement is still grating and seeing it makes him roll his eyes and cross his arms. He might have been tempted to deny that the portal ever worked if it wasn't already so obvious that it had. He can only reluctantly admit it.

"Yes, it worked," he sighs deeply, seeming anything but pleased about it. "Congratulations on nearly destroying the universe, don't ever do it again."

Because now that they're trapped in another dimension and Stanley knows that he succeeded in bringing him back, it's likely he'll want to try building the portal here to get home. Stanford will be having none of that and he's making that clear right now from the get go so that there can't be any misconceptions or false hopes.

[charlastan]

If they were at home, that would be simple enough and it might even get a chuckle out of Stanley - after all, why would he need to nearly destroy the universe again? He got Ford home, and that's what mattered. But of course, this is also a Stanley who hasn't immediately received a punch in the face, so for a fleeting second there's the assumption that their reunion went well, even if Ford's being stern now.

There's an obvious problem though, and it makes Stanley's face fall. They aren't at home. Ford's already anticipated Stanley's next move from here, and frankly Stanley's shocked Ford isn't on board.

"But--" He looks flustered, like he shouldn't have to explain this. "What's wrong with you? We have a way out of here, one that we know is gonna work because it already dragged you out of whatever dimension you've been stuck in, and you're saying no?"

He can't even fathom this. They have a perfectly good way out of Wonderland and Ford doesn't even want to try.

"No, really. What the hell is wrong with you?" Stanley aimlessly gestures around, full of pent-up anger but not really sure what to do with his hands at first, before he settles on pointing at Ford like this is all his fault. "We can't just stay here! This world is dangerous, and we need to get the kids back to Gravity Falls! Don't you want to go home?"

[enciphers]

Stanford can feel his temper rise again despite how drained he already is, it should go without saying why he doesn't want the portal recreated and activated when the warnings are right there in the journals. But no Stanley doesn't listen, he never does. Same old frustration has Ford balling his hands into fists, hunching his shoulders and gritting his teeth. Punching Stanley in the face again is the only part of their reunion that he would not mind repeating and it's quickly becoming a very tempting notion as Stanley goes on and on.

To his credit, he's trying really hard to keep a lid on his anger and stay mindful of the fact that they're standing around in public. Stanley's not making it easy when he's already fed up with just about everything though. He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose, half-turning away in a bid to keep his composure and remain some semblance of calm.

It doesn't really work that well.

"Of course I do!" He snaps back. There's nothing more frustrating than finally having been home after thirty years of being stuck between dimensions only to get snatched away to another dimension yet again after only half an hour. There hadn't even been a chance to enjoy being home and getting to know his niece and nephew. "But the portal isn't the answer, it's too dangerous. It's already been fully opened once and I wouldn't be surprised if it left a rift behind, who knows what will happen after a second time. There's no guarantee it would even work in this dimension!"

He throws up his hands for emphasis before lowering them to his side, belatedly realizing that his voice has been steadily rising. He sighs again in a vain attempt to release some tension. Trying to explain the intricacies of interdimensional travel to Stanley is an exercise in futility and not something he particularly wants to do.

"We'll find another way."

[charlastan]

Stanley has no such qualms about fighting in public. The only ones who might hear them at this point are the creepy masked vendors, and he doesn't particularly care what they think. Ford might be calming himself but he can only feel his own tension rising. To his credit though, he does tone it down just a little. There's no hiding his annoyance, but an appeal to reason might do the trick.

"It's the closest chance we've got. We won't know what it does or if it'll work unless we try the stupid thing," he says. Then he gestures at the air, at this seemingly harmless world around them. "I dunno what a rift is supposed to do, but those are your quote-unquote 'universe destroying consequences' right? Lemme tell you - this place sucks. It's not even its own dimension really? It just freakin' kidnaps people from all over. Every person here's from somewhere else."

If any universe could use a little destroying, it's this one - as long as the portal gets them all out first.

"Besides, that's crap and you know it," he says. "There isn't another way. If there was, you wouldn't've been gone for thirty years."

If anybody could figure out another way to travel through dimensions and get home, it would be Ford. He's a genius. The fact that he hadn't been able to do it, the fact that he still needed Stanley to activate the portal in order for him to get back home, was only proof that there simply wasn't another way. If they do it Ford's way and don't try and build the stupid portal, they're not getting home at all - not unless Wonderland just happens to let them go.

[enciphers]

The urge to grab Stanley and just shake him until he somehow miraculously understands grows stronger by the second. No amount of talking seems to make his brother understand the dangers and consequences of using the portal. Sure, Stanley might not have gotten a PhD in physics and he won't understand all the complicated theories behind interdimensional travel, but Fords knows his brother isn't stupid.

He's just being stubborn. And that's the most frustrating thing about this situation.

"I'm talking about our home dimension, Stanley. It would destroy ours and then we won't have a home to return to."

He's too tired for another fight, his patience worn thin after a very, very long day. Trying to explain anything when Stanley is being stubborn is about as effective as talking to a wall (although the wall would be a lot less infuriating), but still Ford tries one more time to appeal to him.

"Will you please just listen to me? For once? I was stuck between dimensions for thirty years, I know what I'm talking about. Do you really want to risk that? Make it so that we— the kids—don't have a home to return to?"

His voice is subdued, but it's the kind of strained subdued that implies he's already at the end of his rope and he might as well be yelling.

[charlastan]

Stanley can feel the strain in his brother, because Ford's right. He's not dumb. He can see how tired his brother is and it's enough to make him let go of some of the tension in his shoulders. Still, he doesn't get it, and it shows all over his face. It feels like being back in school, and struggling to understand something Ford knew instantaneously.

"...That doesn't make any sense," he finally says. "I mean, you got home! And I'm pretty sure if our world got destroyed in the process, you'd've said so by now."

He still sounds frustrated, but with a little less of the snapping rage to go with it. It just doesn't add up, because if he really did destroy the universe, Ford probably wouldn't be here ragging on him for it.

"Look, if we got you back, then we know it works," he says. "It'd be a snap to just do it all over again. Of course I want a home to go back to, and there's gonna be one. C'mon, there was one when you got there! It was worth the risk for you, and it's worth the risk for the kids."

And there lies the inherent problem - Stanley doesn't care about the possible consequences because there were no consequences.

[enciphers]

"It's not that simple."

Of course Stanley still doesn't get it, it figures. As kids he never minded this as much, he was patient with his brother and they always at least understood each other on a fundamental level. With the rift between them that understanding is no longer there and it makes their intellectual differences all the more prominent and frustrating. It's hard to explain something that feels like common sense to him.

"It's like—" Ford cuts himself off with a huff off frustration, taking a moment to rub his eyes while his mind races to think of something that Stanley will understand. That's when it hits him and he perks up a little. "It's like a ship."

If there's one thing they both understand it's ships. They built one out of a wreckage after all and that took many hours of studying ships and their structures together. This is an analogy that might actually work in finally making Stanley understand the risks.

"Now imagine that you're out on sea and there's a hole in the hull. That's what the portal is. A punched hole through a weak spot on the ship. Water will start flooding it and that will add pressure, right? Which means the hole will only get bigger and bigger and it might even tear the whole ship apart. The portal functions the same way, it doesn't matter which side we're on, when you use it there's still going to be pressure and it's going to make the hole bigger. I'm certain that by bringing me back it's already been made worse, using it again will mean tearing the ship—our universe—apart."

If that doesn't help Stanley understand then Stanford doesn't know anymore, he's about ready to give up.

"There are consequences to your actions, Stanley. You of all people should know that."

[charlastan]

At the mention of a ship, Stanley tenses and looks at Ford Warily. The last time he mentioned anything along those lines, it was immediately followed up by telling him to get on a boat and sail as far away as he possibly could. That isn't where this is going, and it actually is something he can follow. He gets how boats work, and knows exactly how bad it is to have a hole in the hull. They repaired countless holes in the Stan O'War back in the day.

"Right," he says. "But hole in the hull is still an emergency - you can't just sit there and go 'Well, it's too dangerous to touch that! Better just do nothing and sink with the ship!'. You've still gotta do something, try and plug the thing up or--"

Stanley's words skid to a halt though, as he realizes mid thought that it proves Ford's point better than his own. Plug the hole so nothing goes through it. He shakes his head and puts up his hands.

"Okay, so the metaphor don't stretch that well," he admits. "But the point still stands. We can't just stay here and wait ages for you to come up with something. Sure, time don't move and that's great for us old geezers, but the kids are twelve, Ford. They just had their thirteenth birthday here, but I'm not dumb - they're still twelve, and as long as we're stuck here they're always gonna be twelve."

Alone with Ford, he can say this freely. The kids were so excited about their birthday that he decided it was better to just not say anything, maybe tease them a little for trying to con an extra birthday out of him. But he didn't have the heart to look them in their faces and tell them it was all a pointless sham. ...Of course, he has no idea if anyone's told Ford this much, but hey, he knows now if he didn't before.

"And yeah, that sounds great--" It does. Stan can't say he wouldn't want to be twelve forever if he could. "--except that this place is dangerous and if it does take another thirty years to get home they're gonna wind up traumatized adults stuck in little kid bodies. Things've been bad enough as it is, and it's only been a few months."

Stan sighs before throwing in one last point. "Besides, it'd only be one more time. The kids wanna find a way to go back to this place because they're young and dumb and take after their other Grunkle." He stares pointedly at Ford, because for once the label of dumb Grunkle applies to him for messing with inter-dimensional travel in the first place. "But it's not happenin'. We only need it to work one more time, Ford. It'll hold. It has to hold, because we don't have any other options here."

[enciphers]

Try and plug the thing up indeed. Ford gives his brother a very pointed look as Stanley pretty much makes his case for him. At least it shows that the analogy worked and that Stanley understands the portal a little better now. It's not a perfect analogy, there's so much more to the portal, but it's literally a hole and so the comparison is adequate enough.

"I think it works perfectly fine," he comments. Pointedly. But although he would like to scream at Stanley to drop it already, he stays quiet as Stan continues and he takes the information in. It's not like he doesn't get it, in those thirty years of being stuck between dimensions there were more moments than he could count where he would have given anything to go home.

Stranded in another dimension is not something he wants for his family.

But rebuilding the portal is simply not an option.

"One more time is all it could take, Stanley. There's no guarantee it will hold. That's not a risk we can afford to take!" It's becoming increasingly clear that Stanley won't listen to reason, just wanting to take the fate of the universe on a gamble. It's stupid blind faith. If hope is the only thing that Stan will respond to then fine, Ford changes tack.

"We do have other options. Dimensions don't generally pull people in like this. If I can find out what's causing it then I can reverse it. I have something to work with here."

[charlastan]

Stan rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. Ford can say that all he wants, but the truth is there's no guarantee the portal won't hold either. Sure it's a gamble, but sometimes you have to gamble the fate of the universe if it's going to save your family. Granted, he hasn't actually lived through getting the portal fully operational yet, but he already knows he has no regrets about it. He'd do it again in a heart beat, and he wants to in order to get out of Wonderland.

To his credit though, he does listen when Ford actually starts explaining where other options could come from. He still looks pretty skeptical, but he doesn't cut his brother off. Ford obviously knows more about how different dimensions work than he does; even Stanley can't argue that. And it sure sounds a lot better than just saying they'll find a way in an effort to pacify him.

"Makes about as much sense as anything else here, I guess." Stanley looks like he'd rather eat his fez than admit Ford might be right. "There've been some people around here sayin' it doesn't work like this, and that their usual ways of jumpin' from place to place don't work here."

He's heard a few interesting things by now - spells, magic beans - but they'd be a hell of a lot more interesting if any of them worked. But despite the odds, and despite all of the bad blood between them, Stanley's certain that anything Ford comes up with will do the trick, whether it's the portal or something else. And now that it sounds like he might actually be able to...

"...Fine," he finally says. "Knock yourself out. And if you can't reverse it, then we've got a solid back-up plan."

It's not a back-up plan Ford will be happy with, but it's the best they've got and Stanley's not going to give it up entirely. If he had his way it would be Plan A, but deep down he still has faith in Ford. It's the only reason he can budge at all.

[enciphers]

It might not be saying that he's right, but Stanley is conceding even if it's only a little bit and that's enough for Ford. Of course it's still frustrating that Stanley continues to disregard his warnings despite having had the danger explained to him in layman's terms. But that's his brother, forever bullheaded and selfish. He'd remain more irked if something that Stanley said didn't pique his interest so much. It actually eases his mind because it confirms a suspicion he's had.

If other people's methods of interdimensional travel won't work, then it's extremely likely that his design for the trans-universal gateway will also not work. Either because this dimension is locked in some way (and that is rather worrying) or because the very composition of this dimension is vastly different from their own. Both are a distinct possibility from what he's heard of Wonderland so far.

"Different dimensions mean different rules, the very laws of physics could be different here. If their ways don't work, the portal won't either."

So it's not actually a feasible back-up plan. But Stanford has had more than enough of all this portal talk and he makes a dismissive motion with his hand as he shakes his head to disregard the subject. Time to move on and then maybe he can go find somewhere to just sit down and rest for a little while. (Not sleep though. Not when he knows Bill is around. He'll stay awake as long as he can.)

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm here and that you should really talk to the kids." A pause before he remembers to add something. "Also, don't use my name again. Especially when you're in a different dimension."

[charlastan]

"You don't know that," Stanley counters. "You don't even know what their ways are. Or uh, were."

But he's mostly saying it to be contrary at this point, just for the sake of disagreeing. He doesn't know how any of this inter-dimensional crap works aside from the little he's learned about that dumb portal. They could go in circles for days that way though, so it's a little half-hearted at this point.

The kids are another problem entirely.

"Gonna have to now, since you ran into them first." Stanley sounds really put off by the fact that he's going to have to have this conversation at all. He can see it now, how annoyed they'll be that he lied to them. That part, he's unfortunately been through before.

He shrugs though, unconcerned about the identity mix-up - it's not like Ford's name is the first one he's stolen. "Yeah, yeah. Been here for a few months already though and I needed to keep up appearances with the kids, so pretty much the whole mansion knows me as you," he says, a little bit of amusement in his voice. "I won't keep introducing myself that way, but have fun clearin' that one up, Poindexter."

Stanley doesn't really care if any of the other Wonderland refugees think he's a liar or a horrible person - it's not like he's gonna see them again once he's out of this place. But he's also not dumb enough to advertise his crooked ways directly by openly telling everyone that he lied to them all and gave them the wrong name - that's basically painting a target on himself.

Maybe if things had gone a little better he'd be more willing to do it just for Ford's sake, but after Ford's been such a stubborn jerk about the portal, he can figure that one out himself. Sure, it's petty, but he likes to think he's entitled to a little bit of pettiness by now.