open; i got issues, but you got 'em too

[operation]

Who: grant ward + you
Where: all over wonderland
When: 3/22-3/26
Rating: pg for now
Summary: ward's done hiding. it's time to make some connections.
The Story:

[ It's a good thing Ward's always been highly adaptable. Waking up in Wonderland? No problem. Realizing this is his afterlife because there is no way he could have survived getting his chest crushed? Well, he's learning to deal with it. It's not like he wasn't ready for it all to be over anyways. He just wasn't going to go down without a fight.

What's it been now? A week since he arrived to this ridiculous place? Ward hasn't seen a lot of Wonderland just yet as he's been cooped up in his room mostly; licking his wounds, biding his time, doing some research. But hey, what a room. Four walls. Literally. He probably could have come up with something better, but it's not like he needs much anyways. It could have been worse. He could have woken up in a coffin. Yikes.

All dressed up in a leather jacket, comfortable jeans and a crisp white shirt, Grant Ward takes a good look at himself in the mirror and asks himself who he wants to be today. Because walking out that door is a big deal. He's about to start a brand new chapter in his life. He can do anything. Be anyone. And what does a dead man want?

Well, freedom's out of the question. So -- how about a walk around Wonderland? And maybe some company? Come on. Is that really too much to ask for? ]

Comments

[hypoxic]

You wouldn't plant bombs around people you don't want to kill.

[ It's come out harsher than he wanted it to. He's rubbish at hiding his anxiety around Ward, and it's all so much worse right now. He should just do it. Just blow a hole in his torso and get help to take care of the body. As Ward lowers his own gun, it would be easier still.

His finger is already on the trigger. All he'd have to do is squeeze down. He could help so many people by putting Ward down early. He could...

His hands tremble harder, rattling the pistol in his hands, until he lets it drop, unfired. ]

.... I'm not like you.

[operation]

[ He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until Fitz decides to drop the gun. Ward leans back, relaxing his stance somewhat, grateful he doesn't have to experience getting shot again so soon. Coulson had fired two shots at him on Maveth and that had hurt like hell. ]

You're not. It's a good thing, Fitz. [ He means it. The first time he ever killed someone -- hell, that kind of shit leaves a mark. Kind of like a bad stain that can't ever be removed. It darkens the soul. ] Why do you think as specialists we're thought to keep our emotions in check? To have everything compartmentalized? It's not an easy thing to do.

It's why I couldn't just put a bullet in you or Simmons. [ He'd gone against Garrett's orders in order to give them that fighting chance. ] You know Simmons tried to kill me too? Did she tell you that? [ Back when Coulson recruited him to help locate Skye. He'd been surprised by her actions. ] I could have shot her then too. But I didn't. I didn't lay a finger on her.

[hypoxic]

[ Ward is talking, but Fitz doesn't pay much attention to it. He had his chance to take the shot and he couldn't do it. He'd failed. He'd failed and now Ward is free to do whatever he wants. He'll kill everyone. Or something worse. It's all Fitz's fault. ]

... so what now?

[ more murder. More terror. More sleepless nights clutching Jemma close to him without being able to tell her why he won't go back to his own bed. ]

[operation]

What now? [ He's tired of constantly having to watch his back, but it's something he's going to have to do even while he's here in this afterlife of his thanks to Fitz being here. And Skye. And whoever else. He can't wait to meet them. /sarcasm ]

I told you. I'm not going to hurt you. Or your friends. Unless you give me a reason to. So. Don't. [ It's a friendly warning. ] Those bombs I planted? They're just a... safety precaution. Can't exactly blame me for that, right? A minute ago, you almost wanted to shoot me. [ He can't help that he has this automatic instinct to survive despite feeling like he has absolutely nothing to live for right now. ]

[hypoxic]

It wasn't just a minute ago.

[He doesn't have the nerve. He doesn't want to be a killer. And now if Ward goes out and hurts someone, that'll be on him.]

[operation]

Okay... [ He's never entirely sure how to respond to Fitz because he's such a special little character. ]

So how are you trapped in Wonderland? I mean, if anyone has a shot at figuring out a way to escape this place, I thought it'd be you. [ Not that Ward has any intention of leaving just yet considering he has no idea what's in store for him now that he's dead back home. Besides -- he's starting to think he might be able to have some fun here. ]

[hypoxic]

Your vote of confidence is noted.

[ His his eyes settle on a spot on the floor, head bent. He has a dozen theories about the state of this prison dimension amd what could be done to free everyone, but silence is his last remaining protest. He's died once to protect this research. He'll do it again if he to. ]

[operation]

Aw, come on, Fitz. Lighten up. [ He takes a step forward to pick up the gun Fitz had dropped and checks to see if it's loaded. ] What do you know? [ He points it right at the guy and presses the trigger. ] It's empty. [ Good thing Fitz here didn't try to take that shot. It would have been all for nothing. ]

Hey, you know what I kind of miss? The night-night gun.

[hypoxic]

[ when Ward retrieves the gun, Fitz swallows hard, teeth grinding together as he raised his palms in more formal surrender. What is Ward going to do now? Will he have the chance to earn Jemma before something happens there?

Would it be inhumane to look into adapting the TAHITI protocols here? What would ve the ethical means of dealing with someone like Ward?

He flinches when the barrel is turned against me, and that tension doesn't recede after the full, empty click. ]

... you want me to build you weapons? Is that what this is about?

[operation]

Well, that's an interesting idea. [ He puts the gun away and takes a step back again. ] But you've got me completely wrong. My HYDRA days are over. [ Just how many times did he have to quit that only to go back to it again after some goddamn tragedy? Not this time. ] If you haven't heard, I died. Kind of a bummer, but you were there.

[hypoxic]

[ This is the first anyone's thought to tell him about that. His eyes raise abruptly. Is this the things that Daisy doesn't want to talk to him about? The event that breaks their friendship and makes her think that he hates her? ]

I was there?

[ he shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be latching on to anything Grant Ward says. ]

[operation]

Don't look so worried. You weren't the one to hammer the nail in my coffin. [ Ward points a finger to his chest. ] Coulson did. After he shot me -- twice, he crushed my chest in. And poof. I'm in Wonderland. [ Despite his casual tone, the whole thing has affected him deeply. He's been having trouble sleeping at night. It's going to take more than a few weeks or months for him to get over that nightmare. ]

[hypoxic]

[It's a lot of information at once. Something is going to happen, and it's going to be a big something. Is this what it takes to bring Jemma home?

It's all worth it, if this is how they manage to bring Jemma home.]

Sounds like you've done something to deserve it.

[His eyes narrow.]

Can't imagine what it must've been.

[operation]

Call it a pissing contest. [ Two sides of the same coin. Neither one of them was going to give up. ] Coulson came after me. I went after someone he cared deeply about. Seemed fair. [ He gets that Fitz is fishing for answers and likely has zero idea about Maveth and what HYDRA's after. Not that any of that matters here. Besides -- it wasn't like he purposely went after Rosalind. It had been a kill order from Malick after she'd found out about his connections to HYDRA. He did however take some personal satisfaction out of seeing Coulson suffer. The man deserved it. ]

Are you alone here? Or is Simmons with you? [ The two hardly ever separated. ]

[hypoxic]

You're missing the part that came before. The one where you've deserved every inch of whatever Coulson's done to you. What happened to Agent 33 was regrettable, but you would have done far worse to her.

[That's how he reconciles it. He was with Bobbi for every step of her recovery. They've talked through her lingering guilt, even as she supported him through his grief.

He doesn't answer the other lingering question.. He might have brought up Kara as a distraction away from Jemma.]

[operation]

[ The signs of anger aren't always so obvious. It's subtle in fact. There's usually enough of a warning for someone to stop whatever it is they're doing or saying if they pay close enough attention. A slight hardening of the jawline. A twitch of the eyebrow. ]

Her name was Kara. [ They knew nothing about what he'd tried to do for her. Kara had been someone he cared deeply about. She had believed in him and that had meant something. If Garrett had been right about one thing though it's that emotions get in the way of things and makes a person weak. If he hadn't been possessed by the desire for revenge, if he hadn't allowed his emotions to get in the way of things, Kara would likely still be alive today. Then again, it was Coulson who had come looking for trouble when he'd decided to ask them for a favor. ]

So you're not alone. [ It's a wild guess at best. But Fitz had avoided answering his question which means -- he's hiding something. Or someone. ] Whatever would you do without good ol' Simmons, right? Have you finally told her about how you feel? [ Ward manages a smile just then. His anger? It's gone. Compartmentalized. He's not going to let Fitz be the one to steer the conversation. He's not going to be manipulated. He's in complete control here. ]

[hypoxic]

[Fitz might have been more conscious of it if he weren't fighting so hard to keep his own composure. He's fighting to keep his hands steady, to hold himself upright, to keep from making any sudden movements. He tries to go still, to disconnect. If he reacts, then Ward will know he's making progress.

He's terrible when being interrogated. Everyone knows that. Ward knows it most of all.]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[operation]

Simmons. Gorgeous hazel eyes, dirty brown hair, adorable smile. You know, if she hadn't already been crushing on me back then, I likely would have given her a little more of my attention. [ He knows what he's doing is just a little petty on his part, but Fitz had brought up Kara so -- payback's a bitch. He'd so wanted this to be a friendly conversation, but it's unfortunate Fitz here is still hanging onto past hurts. ]

But hey, I knew you were into her. So don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. [ He'd even gone out of his way to give Fitz some advice back then despite the fact everything around him had gone to hell. Because he cared. Stupidly enough. ]

It's okay. You can have your secrets.

[hypoxic]

[Her hair isn't dirty brown. It's a beautiful chestnut. An ochre, if he was feeling particularly artistic about it.

But Ward is doing it again. Ward knows all the right ways to dig into all of Fitz's pressure points. It brings the heat flushing back into his face despite all of his attempts to keep it squashed down.

Ward wins his silence; Fitz doesn't trust that his voice will stay steady if he tries to speak.]

[operation]

[ Ward clamps his hands down on Fitz's shoulder because he needs him to pay attention to what he has to say. It's important. Maybe he's just lost his patience a little. Maybe Fitz here has just annoyed him enough. Maybe in the end all that matters is his own survival. Whatever he thought he could salvage from this broken friendship is clearly gone. He sees that now. ]

You really need to understand that I am not the enemy. If you tell anyone who I am, if you mention anything about what I did, if your friends make the mistake of coming after me, if you try anything, let's just say it won't take me long to find five ways to be rid of anyone who gets in my way. [ Five lives, right? That doesn't seem like much. ] Tread carefully, Fitz.

Now go. [ He lifts his hands up and gives Fitz a bit of a smile, a little reassurance that everything's okay now. Just as he'd done with his brother, Thomas, all those years ago when he had been forced to hurt him. ]

[hypoxic]

[the hand on his shoulder has him flinching. He squeezes his eyes shut and waits, expecting pain. He doesn't know how the pain will happen or where it'll come from, but he knows it's coming. He knows it'll be soon.

Will it be like the last time? Will he have time to think about it before it happens?

The threats rain down, and that makes everything feel more final. It's going to be soon. He's being given a message to relay after he revives. Will he be alone here while he's dead? Will he be alone when he wakes? What does a second death feel like?

...And then the pressure lifts, and he bolts as quickly as he can manage. It's cowardace. He's ashamed of it. But they'll need time to prepare.

when Ward makes his move, they'll have to be ready.]