open ; welcome to the inner workings of my mind

[persevere]

Who: Caroline Forbes + You + Closed Starters
Where: Everywhere
When: July 6th to the end of the month
Rating: This will get gory, most likely.
Summary: Caroline returns to Wonderland, but she's not quite herself these days...
The Story:

Deux Lux

[Caroline Forbes is here most nights, drinking the night away and dancing on any flat surface she can find no matter the height. She never drinks herself into oblivion because she wants to be at her best, on guard for any of her 'friends' that might feel the need to step in.

She doesn't want help. Anyone with half a brain could see she's just fine.

She's more than willing to dance with anyone who's willing, just don't let her pull you off to that dark corner or you might end up with a few puncture wounds and missing any recollection of the last couple of hours.]

Lake

[She actually carted an inflatable lounge chair out here, and anyone in her path would have seen a blonde blur as she doesn't even bother to hide the fact that she's different. The sun is out and she's in her bikini, hair tied into braided pigtails, sporting a pair of dark shades as she lazily kicks around in the water, catching some rays.

Sometimes you can catch her sunbathing on the edge of the water, too, laying casually out on a towel. Vampire or no, she still likes catching some rays.]

Mikaelson Rooms

[Those who are aware of her living arrangements or any of the others that live there as well can find her lounging in various common areas, usually with a drink in hand, and can be summoned to answer anyone who might knock at the door. She's almost always bored, biding her time with liquor and playing with her phone, stalking messages in search of juicy gossip and drama.

Or maybe she's looking for a snack. It's probably just fine, though.]

Choose Your Own Adventure

Feel free to set up anything anywhere. I'm very flexible.

Comments

[eyething]

No argument there. It's not like they can kill him anyway. Just string him up, torture him, set him on fire maybe, but then he's got his entire family behind him and they're all equally unkillable so. We should throw all the mobs their way. Saves us trouble.

( Damon shrugs as he walks along the outside of the lake and then tilts his head to the side again, raising his hand to gesture vaguely. )

I don't know. If I was dying to tell you, I would have found you as soon as Elena told me, because I was so worried about you going down the same road twice, but I figured you'd handle it. Control, right?

( That is what she was all about, and Damon has a feeling even without Stefan's- No, the Ripper's influence, she still would have ended up killing anyway eventually. It's hard not to when rational reasons not to kill leave the picture, when your friends are far away. )

[persevere]

[She's not biting at that. She refuses to. She may not have made Klaus off limits, but they both know that poking that bear is just going to make her angry. At the same time, she doesn't want him poking at it, so turning it around on him is easier.]

Sounds like what you did to Elena. Not that I blame you. She was a mess that you created, so, of course, you'd go to extremes to fix it.

[Lock her up, starve her, threaten her with the sun. Her own father had done that to her back when she was still alive. She'd cared then and she'd still survived.]

Or you waited so you could try and catch me off guard, thought maybe I'd be curious by now. Spoilers, I'm not. [But fine, she'll ask the obvious question.] If you're not here for that, why are you here, exactly?

[eyething]

( Damon has been intimately reminded of his guilt in what he did to Elena when she had her emotions off. He couldn't feel it before, couldn't feel it until now after a whole helluva lot of growth that came even after Caroline turned her emotions off. It came from Wonderland, having his heart torn out by Elena's mirror as she shoved it all in his face. It came from putting Elena in a coffin and having to wait for years for her.

It came from having to figure out how to do the right thing and keep the one he loves in his heart even when she was gone. It came from revisiting Augustine with Caroline in Wonderland, understanding why she was the worst possible person to be there with him, because she deserved to keep her hate. But she didn't. )

And I didn't even have my own emotions turned off at the time. As you're obviously aware of, I.. regret all of it.

( Capable of hurting the one he loves most with all his emotions in tact. He takes a long drink from the flask, swallowing it down. It makes him sick. )

I mean, that's why I'm here, but I didn't rush over, because I knew telling you wouldn't be an emergency and you're obviously not caught off guard. I mean, you can't be when you're trying to be in control all the time.

[persevere]

Damon Salvatore doing something he regrets? Must be a day that ends in 'y.'

[She shifts so that she can see him better; she might be cautious about this, knowing that there has to be some kind of reasoning behind it, but she's ready for it. It's not going to change her mind and if she listens, maybe he'll leave her alone.]

Fine, I'm listening. You're the one who's going to be wasting your breath, though.

[eyething]

People wasting their breath on someone without their humanity. Must also be a day that ends in 'y'.

( Just saying. Locking people up so they don't kill more never ends up working well. Neither does talking to them. It always takes something huge. Something painful. )

Your one big mistake? You convince someone to turn off their humanity with you.

Turns out having a no-humanity partner doesn't make for a fun buddy cop movie, but y'know, a whole lot of death and maiming and lack of control.

[persevere]

Let me guess...your brother?

[He's the only one who would probably be stupid enough to try and make her flip her switch back. He probably felt guilty and responsible and fed her some bullshit about his feelings.

It doesn't matter now. Everything's different and, well...]

Then I guess you're lucky he's not here.

[eyething]

( Damon's smirk gives confirmation to the question. )

The ripper's a real pain in the ass.

( He lets a breath escape him, because Stefan disappeared at the same time as Elena and Caroline, and it's all too coincidental, isn't it? It all came so shortly after what happened with the mirrors. It honestly feels like Wonderland's conspiring against them and throwing Caroline back in her current state is one more reason to believe it. )

The big lesson? Control is impossible, because other people are always going to get in the way. They get desperate. You, in turn, get desperate.

Control slips through your fingers, and before you know it, you're ruining your life.

[persevere]

Not much worse than you.

[He's the one being a pain in her ass right now.

She doesn't know if it's coincidental. It sure seems like it; the timing is all suspect, but what does it matter? Wonderland does what it wants to do, and she'll do what she wants to do.]

Nothing is impossible, Damon. I'm not weak and I don't lose control. If someone messes things up, it's not going to be me.

[She laughs, giving him a look.]

Seriously? I didn't turn off my humanity because everything was so great. What am I ruining that wasn't already a disaster or a mistake?

[eyething]

But the difference is I'm always a pain in the ass.

( Damon lifts an eyebrow at her with a shake of his head. )

I'm telling you what you claimed to be so concerned about. You hated when the Ripper came along, because you had to deal with him ruining the life you were trying to protect, and then the two of you preceded to make a big, giant mess together.

( There were a lot of dead bodies. There was calling his mother back from the abyss to force feed her words to give over to Stefan. There was locking the both of them up. There was so much pain and suffering. He went decades with his emotions shut off. Maybe that's why he'd been so desperate to turn Elena's emotions back on, because he didn't want her to live with the hundreds of terrible things he did with his own off and no one to stop him. No one around at all because he'd left his only friend to burn.

And instead those desperate attempts ended up hurting Elena more. And now they're back again with Caroline in that same position, and they still don't have a good way to stop it, to change it, to make things different, but it's impossible. )

When you have your emotions off, eventually, control ceases to matter. Eventually, you feel like being strong means not being ruled by emotion, and that's not true, Caroline.

( Damon uses her name this time, meeting her gaze though he knows it won't matter now. Nothing does now. That's the appeal. Nothing has to matter. )

[persevere]

Finally, something we can agree on.

[The life she had been trying to protect had gotten thrown out the window the moment she'd come here. This was Wonderland, where nothing went the way anyone wanted and anything could happen. Her plan had been uprooted before she'd even been able to put it into action.

And she hadn't cared enough to come up with a new one after things got complicated. Stefan leaving, not hating Damon, Elena's understanding, Klaus.

Her eyes flick over to meet his at the sound of her name. He doesn't use it often. Apparently, he thinks it's going to help his words sink in.]

I don't need to be strong, Damon. Not unless someone forces my hand. [She looks away again.] I never thought I'd miss the day when you didn't give a shit, even if now it's only for Elena's sake.

[eyething]

I get it. You don't need anything right now. That's the beauty of it.

( Don't want, don't need, don't care.

Damon shakes his head at the words. He's lived more than Caroline has. Damon knows now- Elena made him a better person, but he lived for years, caring even without her there to remind him to do so- He doesn't want to talk about it ever. He finally told Regis the truth when Elena and Caroline were gone. The words left him so abruptly, and it's terrifying to think they're out there.

Elena and Damon talked about it. They talked about maybe getting the letter Caroline's mother wrote to her from the vendors, but giving it to her in a way that she wouldn't burn it up. Damon has all of the memories of her mother's last moments conscious, because he was there for them, and he would give those to her too to help shift the balance back (to show her that her mother thought of her in those last, final moments). And he fucked up his own final moments with his mother even if his mother was a piece of shit and Caroline mother was an amazing, wonderful woman. It still hurt like hell so he can't even imagine.

It's not time for any of that yet, but when it is- Damon told Elena he wanted to help for a reason, to help get her back. It's important, and he cares. )

There's so much you don't know. There's a moment that was stolen from you, and I know how you can get parts of it back.

( She'll never get that moment, but her mother left her a letter. Her mother's final words were to him. It's all he says before he leaves. )