open » youth is wasted on the young

[mucked]

Who: Peggy Carter + OPEN
Where: Various spots
When: From July 3rd to mid-month.
Rating: PG, most likely.
Summary: Peggy digests some unexpected developments, fires away her disappointments, and throws herself into more productive endeavours. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.
The Story:

FIRING RANGE (backdated to july 4th)--

[ steve's confession, of sorts, scatters her emotions and sends peggy's fledgling optimism deep underground. perhaps it'd been the sort of thing she should never have nurtured: hope; expectation; excitement for the few decent possibilities wonderland might have offered to offset so much horror and disappointment. but she'd made a mistake when she'd allowed herself to put the cart in front of the horse. to put it mildly. it's a mistake she won't make again. of all those involved, she blames herself most -- for courting distraction when she ought to be focused on survival. just as it had been during the war, she should brook no time for love nor distractions. it only gets people hurt.

so the day after her conversation with steve sees her at the firing range. she's got one of those modern firearms, given to her by sharon, and she decides she'd better grow comfortable with it. and quick. now that her wound is feeling much better, there's no excuse to hang back and wait out disasters when she could wade into them instead. it's a cold comfort to squeeze out a few whole clips on a muggy 'independence day,' knowing that others might yet be celebrating elsewhere on the grounds.

afterwards, while field-stripping the gun and giving it a good cleaning, she sits well-back of the range itself. her expression is stony, and when she fumbles with the unfamiliar barrel and utters a sharp curse. it's said with far more vehemence than the error merits. ]

THE VENDORS (july 9th)--

[ curiousity (paired with an appetite for diversion) eventually gets the better of her and she ventures into the orchards. she'd like to tell herself she'd only been walking, without intention, and meandered in their direction. truth is, she wants to see these wares with her own eyes. touch them, perhaps, with her own fingertips. peggy goes from stall to stall with her notebook tucked protectively under one arm.

she'd heard about the prices the vendors might place on their goods. the concept intrigues her a little more than it ought to, especially considering she'd arrived with very little currency of her own, but she manages to resist the urge to make a purchase. after all, she'd never been one for ownership; it'd never meshed well with her chosen career.

but she does try to snag the attention of another resident as he or she walks by, asking: ] Pardon, but...have you bought anything from these fellows?

[ is it worth it? ]

AROUND THE GROUNDS (all month)--

[ the mansion was already beginning to feel oppressive. but now, understanding the true cost of opportunity the building might represent, peggy feels driven to spend as little time under its roof as possible. she begs a thermos from her bedroom closet and fills it to the brim with hot black tea -- making do with ordering cup after cup in the dining hall and pouring each one in succession into the vessel. this becomes a mid-morning ritual, with a square of toast smeared in jam taken for a quick breakfast. on any given day, she might be found sitting with her back against an outer wall at the stables, or on the edge of the fountain, or perhaps on a blanket by the lakeshore.

although the place changes, the scene is otherwise always the same: peggy, her gone-lukewarm thermos sitting open beside her, and a notebook canted against her knees while she writes slowly and deliberately. either because this is a new undertaking, or because she herself is so recently arrived, only a handful of pages have thus far been filled. some of the sentences appear legible (intended in english) but others, should anyone peer over her shoulder, are gibberish. coded, most likely.

when strangers or rare familiar faces walk by, she'll at least do the decent thing and give a cordial nod. despite her sour mood, it doesn't register all that much differently from her customary distance and chill. ]

Comments

[mucked]

As quick as that? [ she asks with a hiss of concern. ] All that has to happen is that the item is picked up? No barter, no agreement, no nothing else?

[ that is alarming. ]

[saved]

There's no way to know for sure, because no one can ever tell when the memory leaves them. The memory's just gone.

But I like to operate with that kind of caution, y'know? ( if he's going to touch something, peter's going to take it in case it cost something ) No bartering or agreement. Vendors don't talk to you. The memory's just gone.

[mucked]

[ no bartering or agreement. the words sink in; peggy nods, worrying her bottom lip just briefly as she allows her attention to drift back to the vendors. ]

Best not to bother, then. [ she decides. a sigh puffing her cheeks. ] For me, I mean. I'd best not bother.

[ the uncertainty might as well give her hives. ]

[saved]

It's bullshit.

( peter huffs out a breath, shoving his hands into his pockets. he sounds apologetic, because he knows how much it sucks. it took him a long time before he took his first item, and then he'd been in such a dark place, he had a hard time not taking the next one. )

How they dangle it in front of us and then carve something right out of our heads for it. They're not a big fan of choices here.

[mucked]

[ hm. she can feel the ice thinning underneath this conversation's toes. peggy presses her red lips together in a firm and stoic line. and she watches the way he pockets his hands, listens to his tone, digests his words.

perhaps a bit of a shift is necessary. peggy glances back up the path towards the orchard's exit. and when she takes a step, it appears as though she expects him to join her. they ought to get the hell out of dodge, she decides. ]

Peggy, by the way. Peggy Carter. How remiss of me not to introduce myself.

[saved]

( peter blinks in slight confusion, glancing at the vendors and then heading forward after her because she seems to expect it, and she also seems like a woman people should listen to. )

I mean, I forgot too so I am equally responsible for remissing. ( he bites down on his lower lip with a wince as if acknowledging his own failure to use that word correctly. ) Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.

[mucked]

[ her nose does crinkle at the butchery done to the poor word. but peggy makes no remark upon it beyond that brief expression. ]

And how long have you been residing here, Mister Parker?

[saved]

You can just call me Peter! I'm not a Mister. ( wait, does this mean he should call her miss. miss carter? maybe he'll avoid using her name so he doesn't have to wonder and potentially screw that up, but will that be obvious? how often do people use each other's name in conversation? he wonders if there's research about that.

...he realizes he's been quiet too long and clears his throat. )

A year and a half.

[mucked]

You look like a mister from where I'm standing.

[ -- said with a bit of a huff. she doesn't much care for the informality. but, alright, if he insists... ]

A year and a half is nothing to sneeze at, Peter. [ see? she can play nice. probably. either way, she ducks beneath a low-hanging branch as they walk out of the area 'housing' the brunt of the vendors. the mansion comes back into view. ]

[saved]

( peter clears his throat as if he thinks he's in trouble for some reason. he slides a hand into his hair before letting it drop down again awkwardly. )

Right, yeah. No. It's not. It's a lot of time to be in Wonderland. ( and he's been far removed from his own life there for so long- it's hard to connect to it. he shoves his hands into his pockets with a shrug, swallowing thickly. he has plenty to avoid in new york city too, doesn't he? ) I haven't been home at all during that time either. Sometimes it feels like- like I won't.

[mucked]

Won't go home?

[ she leaps upon the ambiguity. she can't help it -- it's a bad habit of hers, and although she knows it can come across as aggressive and unfriendly she nevertheless indulges the curiousity. ]

Or do you mean that it sometimes feels like you won't go home and come back?

[saved]

Mostly, it feels like I just won't go home at all.

( And that's a complicated mixed bag of feelings. Usually, he's preferred Wonderland to home, but that was for entirely selfish reasons. He's still trying to avoid the mess he left behind, but he misses his aunt just the same. )

Are you trying to ask if I'd want to come back? If I like it here?

[mucked]

I can't imagine anyone liking it here. [ peggy's clear enough on that front. ] But I've heard that not everyone's got something to go back to -- and, in those instances, I can only imagine that Wonderland presents something of an opportunity.

[saved]

I mean, some people like it here. They come from shitty places or they just like who they meet here. ( it's not unheard of. his hands sink deeper into his pockets. ) I have- I mean, I have my aunt to go back to. I've made more friends here than I ever did back home. I don't know why really. There's a lot of people who have powers and who have a lot going on here.

[mucked]

[ is it really so difficult to imagine? peggy's lips purse. ]

Some varieties of adversity bring out the best in people. I presume that also means their best attempts at friendship -- even here. [ although she herself is in no rush to make friends. ]

Have you got anyone from home here, Mister Park?

[saved]

No. I mean, I've got people here who've told me they know other versions of me, but- but no one that knows this specific version of me.

( peter frowns slightly then, shoving his hands into his pockets. ) Alternate universes make that complicated. What about you?

PARKER* whoops.

[mucked]

I'm afraid that's a trickier question to answer than it should be. [ a beat. ] It seems there are a great many people from 'home' -- but very few I've met or ever known.

LOL omg i didn't even notice

[saved]

So they're from your future? That sounds both complicated and unsettling. ( if someone showed up from his future, would he want to know any of it? would he want to have to face the consequences of choices he hasn't even made yet? )

[mucked]

Both, yes. Exceptionally so.

[ but she's slowly slowly slowly coming to terms with the difference, although she suspects peace will never be made. the concept chafes too much; those who come after, who hail from the future, know too much about her. ]

Merely yet another complication of this place, I'm afraid.

[saved]

( peter nods a few times, shaking his head as he tries to think of all the difficulties which come with living in wonderland. )

If we made a list of the complications, it'd be- it'd be a really long list, and there's no guidebook for how to deal with any of it. Not alternate universes, not people from your future.

[mucked]

And if there was, I doubt it would apply equally across the board. [ a huff as they near the mansion doors. ] No, I'm afraid we likely have to feel our way as we go.