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open » youth is wasted on the young

Who: Peggy Carter + OPEN
Where: Various spots
When: From July 3rd to mid-month.
Rating: PG, most likely.
Summary: Peggy digests some unexpected developments, fires away her disappointments, and throws herself into more productive endeavours. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.
The Story:

FIRING RANGE (backdated to july 4th)--

[ steve's confession, of sorts, scatters her emotions and sends peggy's fledgling optimism deep underground. perhaps it'd been the sort of thing she should never have nurtured: hope; expectation; excitement for the few decent possibilities wonderland might have offered to offset so much horror and disappointment. but she'd made a mistake when she'd allowed herself to put the cart in front of the horse. to put it mildly. it's a mistake she won't make again. of all those involved, she blames herself most -- for courting distraction when she ought to be focused on survival. just as it had been during the war, she should brook no time for love nor distractions. it only gets people hurt.

so the day after her conversation with steve sees her at the firing range. she's got one of those modern firearms, given to her by sharon, and she decides she'd better grow comfortable with it. and quick. now that her wound is feeling much better, there's no excuse to hang back and wait out disasters when she could wade into them instead. it's a cold comfort to squeeze out a few whole clips on a muggy 'independence day,' knowing that others might yet be celebrating elsewhere on the grounds.

afterwards, while field-stripping the gun and giving it a good cleaning, she sits well-back of the range itself. her expression is stony, and when she fumbles with the unfamiliar barrel and utters a sharp curse. it's said with far more vehemence than the error merits. ]

THE VENDORS (july 9th)--

[ curiousity (paired with an appetite for diversion) eventually gets the better of her and she ventures into the orchards. she'd like to tell herself she'd only been walking, without intention, and meandered in their direction. truth is, she wants to see these wares with her own eyes. touch them, perhaps, with her own fingertips. peggy goes from stall to stall with her notebook tucked protectively under one arm.

she'd heard about the prices the vendors might place on their goods. the concept intrigues her a little more than it ought to, especially considering she'd arrived with very little currency of her own, but she manages to resist the urge to make a purchase. after all, she'd never been one for ownership; it'd never meshed well with her chosen career.

but she does try to snag the attention of another resident as he or she walks by, asking: ] Pardon, but...have you bought anything from these fellows?

[ is it worth it? ]

AROUND THE GROUNDS (all month)--

[ the mansion was already beginning to feel oppressive. but now, understanding the true cost of opportunity the building might represent, peggy feels driven to spend as little time under its roof as possible. she begs a thermos from her bedroom closet and fills it to the brim with hot black tea -- making do with ordering cup after cup in the dining hall and pouring each one in succession into the vessel. this becomes a mid-morning ritual, with a square of toast smeared in jam taken for a quick breakfast. on any given day, she might be found sitting with her back against an outer wall at the stables, or on the edge of the fountain, or perhaps on a blanket by the lakeshore.

although the place changes, the scene is otherwise always the same: peggy, her gone-lukewarm thermos sitting open beside her, and a notebook canted against her knees while she writes slowly and deliberately. either because this is a new undertaking, or because she herself is so recently arrived, only a handful of pages have thus far been filled. some of the sentences appear legible (intended in english) but others, should anyone peer over her shoulder, are gibberish. coded, most likely.

when strangers or rare familiar faces walk by, she'll at least do the decent thing and give a cordial nod. despite her sour mood, it doesn't register all that much differently from her customary distance and chill. ]

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[ his ego has always been wrapped up in the reactions of others. ray's arrogance is where his trust in himself lies, and maybe that's why it never fully takes him over. why it's good that his ego responds to external stimuli so readily. ]

They're called nanites. Teeny tiny machines that can shrink the space between the very atoms that make up, well, everything.

[ the science itself is cool, and he'll never get bored of talking about it. ]

I developed the nanites before I had the suit, but it took me some time to think of combining them. When I got to Wonderland, I was stuck the miniaturized size for awhile.

[ nanites, he says. and the subject becomes infinitely more interesting than her own sorrows. more interesting, also, than the drama of his team. in effect, it's neutral territory: wonder, futurism, and progress.

there's a twitch in her hand; she wants to reach out and touch it. peggy holds her peace a moment longer. ]

That's -- that's remarkable. [ even the bit about being stuck miniaturized. ] It's not simply the suit that gets smaller? Good God.

[ the applications are dizzying to consider. ]

Go ahead. You can touch it, it's totally safe.

[ he holds back, confident in its safety just plopped here on the ground. there's not really anything she can set off without the neuromorphic interface, and it's nearly indestructible.

he waves her on in case his words aren't enough. ]

It took a lot of luck and sweat to get it built.

[ what peggy sees before here isn't just a machine. it was the start of a new life for ray. the means to become someone else.

some

thing

else ]

[ her fingers -- nails done in classic red -- draw an invisible line across one of the suit's shoulders. even its very construction (let alone the technology beneath it) reads as something so far beyond what she knows. what she's seen. ]

Luck? [ it's just about the only thing he might have said that could tear her attention away from the marvel 'standing' in front of her. ] Very few physicists -- very few inventors -- I know would ever deign to acknowledge luck in their successes.

[ a beat. ]

What was so lucky about it, then?

You must hang around some crappy physicists, then.

[ he doesn't press it as anything other than a joke, and nods in response to her doubt. ]

You can do everything right and still fail, you know? Luck is just noticing the opportunities and having the resources at your fingertips to capitalize on them. That's all I did. [ he shrugs and then adds as if it's an after-thought: ] I mean, it helped that I had already amassed an astounding amount of wealth and power and had some concerning views on the privacy and boundaries of other people...

[ good lord. peggy nearly laughs -- and had she laughed, it might even have been sincere. crappy physicists, hm? ]

You don't know the half of it.

[ howard stark is a great many things. but she will never, ever absolve him of his ego and his hubris. nor his mistakes, which have wrought so much awfulness despite the bits that have done so much good. forgive, yes, but never quite absolve.

only now does she withdraw her touch from the suit's shoulder. ]

But -- yes, I rather suppose the wealth does come in handy. [ a rich fellow. she should have known. a lush basket of cupcakes isn't that unlike a grand gesture easily afforded by someone with the means to impress at the click of a finger. ] As does the power. The degrees can't hurt, either.

[ she forces herself to ignore the suit, now, in favour of the man. it's not simple. ]

I'm sorry -- [ she really isn't ] -- but 'concerning views?'

[ he just looks a bit bashful and gestures to the cupcakes. ]

Old habits die hard? I knew you'd be out here, and I hoped dessert would be sufficient bribery.

[ everyone likes cupcakes. ]

And at home, I needed someone. Someone smarter and more creative than I am. Someone who wouldn't say yes because I was CEO Ray Palmer, but because she was up to the challenge. It's just-- well, I had to be persistent because of the smarter-than-me thing. Obnoxiously so.

[ obnoxiously persistent on his part or obnoxiously smarter on hers-- or maybe both. ]

[ it could have been worse, she supposes. he could have shown up on her doorstep -- but it's good to know this particular breach of privacy isn't unique to her. weirdly, it's a comfort.

(it shouldn't be, but it is.) ]

Persistence can be a virtue. At times.

[ -- and perhaps that's all she has to say on the matter. as much as she might admire the trait, she can't shake her dismay and her unease with the man who ultimately exemplifies it for her. her jaw shifts a moment; she tries not to let her expression slip.

except, in the eleventh hour: ] How did you convince her to say yes?

[ you know, for whatever persistent reason beyond him being ceo ray palmer. ]

Oh, I didn't. She determined that what I was offering was real and that it would contribute to something greater than herself.

[ he shrugs, and can't help the smile that follows. ]

I got lucky.

[ could such a determination ever be made in a vacuum? peggy scowls, but not for anything ray's done or said. only that her thoughts spiral away from her, for just a moment, and she needs a moment to centre herself before continuing. ]

It seems she may have found herself equally fortunate -- to gain such an opportunity. [ ... ] They don't always fall into our laps. Chances to be part of something...greater.

[ it seems like the sort of sentiment that needs to settle into the air. so ray gives it a moment, bending down to press his palm against the chest of the suit to return it to doll size. he plucks it from the ground gingerly despite its indestructibility and holds it outward to return it to the case in peggy's possession. ]

Fortune, luck... either way, she made the choice to leap. That's the hardest part sometimes.

[ especially in wonderland where things turn upside down overnight. ]

[ there's that word again. choice. it keeps cropping up at the most inconvenient times -- stealing frowns across her face and rattling her cages. but in this instance, she keeps just enough of her poise to only grimace when he commits into her care his precious (it seeems precious) suit.

she holds the case. and, once the thing is replaced, she snaps the lid shut most smartly. ]

Spoken like a true leaper, I suppose. [ it's polite more than anything else. ]

Who, me? Why ever would you assume that?

[ said as innocent as the day is long, but he's not entirely blind to his own tendencies. it just takes a lot to make him self-reflect. he smiles, and lets it simmer down a little before pressing a bit: ]

So. If it takes one to know one, what does that make you?

Oh, I assure you I'm nothing of the sort. [ because the lie befits the moment. she doesn't need to get into the grittier details of her life's work.

nor her own wide leaps. ]

I'm much more given to strolling. Promenading, maybe.

[ she says it with a smile intended to sell it as truth. ]

[ ray's brow furrow as he smiles -- the only indication that he feels the discrepancy between her words and tone. ]

Ambling, even?

[ he seems content to leave whatever persona peggy would like to wear in place. ]

Speaking of.

] ambling. she nods her head toward the path -- indicating, perhaps, that she's keen to move on. but not before claiming the basket of cupcakes. they're her spoils, after all. ]

I should probably amble onward.

Oh gosh, of course.

[ he only interrupts her by holding his hand out and smirks. ]

Trade you the treats for the ATOM?

[ now, that earns a smirk. ]

Is that what it's called?

[ she passes the case firmly into his hand. ]

Clever.

[ he beams, because he's literally that easy. ]

Those'll keep longer in the fridge. [ he nods toward the basket. ] And let me know if you want any more.

Oh, I couldn't. [ impose, that is. he's gone above and beyond with these. but she just might be the sort of person who'll court arguments just to win herself another batch. be careful with her. ]

I'm certain you've got better things to do than bake all day.

I don't relax very well.

[ he can admit that much, at least. he's a dangerous thumb-twiddler. ]

See you around?

Evidently.

[ huh. is she talking about his inability to relax, or their inevitable potential to cross paths once again? after all, he'd orchestrated this meeting. but with a staunch nod of her head she takes the cupcakes and takes her leave.

all with a very polite have a good day, doctor palmer. ]

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