[ open ] no light, no light in your bright blue eyes

[thevulnerability]

Who: Chloe Decker, Lucifer Morningstar, Seth Gecko, Richie Gecko + YOU
Where: Alexandria
When: Catch All for the event.
Rating: R // warnings: violence and character death
Summary: The idylic suburban dream life is shattered. Homes will burn, pillagers will pillage, zombies will... zomb.
The Story:

Comments

[screwedontight]

[Seth has no idea what they're talking about. None of what she is saying makes sense, but in the end whatever that means isn't the important part. Not right now in this minute.

Already, even as Lucifer is agreeing to whatever she's saying, saying he won't leave, he is shaking his head.]

Chloe, no. You probably still actually believe in religion and God. You have to live with what you do. Let me live with that.

[He turned midstep, coming over to where she was, close. He worried what Lucifer might do. Now and even after they helped her through this.]

Chloe, let me do this please? Let both of you blame me.

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe sucks in a breath, slowly turning her head to look at Lucifer. ]

I don't know what I believe in anymore. [ She hadn't believed in much before she met Lucifer. Now she has all of the proof she needed, sitting right next to the devil, waiting to die, and she can't muster the strength to accept what else is beyond. She doesn't even know if there is an afterlife in Wonderland, and even if there is, it might not be the same divine world that exists in her own. Chloe has no idea if she will go to Heaven or Hell, or if this decision will somehow damn her soul, or if she can live with herself if she did this.

There were only two things she does know. She doesn't want to die, and she has to. ]

Seth... [ She reaches for his hand, the first thought in her mind that she can grab his gun away. If she had been at full strength she might have stood a chance, but her shaking hand falters and she finds herself loosely gripping his hand. She can feel the metal of the gun, impossibly cold against her skin. The familiarity of a weapon in her hand is nearly ingrained into her, and while she's feared it before, it's never been like this. She doesn't want Seth to do this and she'd rather take the gun herself, do this herself.

She'd rather blame herself than risk blaming him.

And she's about to tell him as much as she tries to push the gun from his hand until she thinks of how scared she is, and then she's back in the hospital room, curled on her side with wires coming out every which way and Trixie in her arms. Chloe swears she can smell her hair, the soft scent of her baby shampoo and bubble gum bath soap and the slightest hint of chocolate cake in the air. She can almost feel her daughter breathe in her arms, rhythmic and slow as she sleeps with no understanding of how much it will hurt when her mother dies, because who can actually grasp that kind of heartbreak until your heart is already broken? Trixie was always so strong, so much stronger than Chloe ever was.

Chloe's grasp loosens and she slumps back into the chair, only then realizing how hard she is crying. She isn't scared of God or religion or Heaven or Hell. Chloe will take that when it comes. What she is scared of is losing who she is in this horrible place. As much as she hates to put that on Seth, Chloe doesn't have it in her heart to murder a little girl's mother.

Trixie might never know but Chloe will, and she has to figure out how to live with what happens next. Forgiving Seth is so much easier than forgiving herself. ]

No one is going to blame you. [ She whispers then, squeezing his hand before she pulls away. She looks at Lucifer again, wondering how she is supposed to say goodbye to him before something like this. It isn't really goodbye, but "See you later" sounds trite when your best friend is about to watch your other best friend put a bullet in your head. Chloe reaches out and takes his hand too, squeezing it gently. ] This isn't your fault, either, okay?

[walkingheroin]

[She's already starting to fade. He can see it clearly, the way her eyes start to unfocus, the intensity of her breath. And when it happens, she'll become one of those monsters, hurt the people around her, and Lucifer knows her well enough to know then she really would never forgive herself.

To think that not long ago she was trying to hide it. They should have noticed sooner.

He crouches down beside her, feet on the floor, and puts a hand over the one holding his, squeezing back.]

You'll wake up and this nightmare will be over, do you hear me?

[That's partially a lie. Wonderland will still exist, but this place of death and decay will be gone by then. That's the way it has to be or he'll tear the world down himself, no matter what he has to become in order to do it.]

You won't be alone.

[Not for a moment. He'll be there when she comes back. He refuses to be anywhere else.]

[screwedontight]

[He said he can do this, and he will but he knows this will be the hardest thing he's done since he left Kate with all the money and his car. Since he watched Richie chose that bitch over him. This was what making friends did to you. Becoming connected to others was hard, it was painful, and in this place especially it led to pain and loss.

Seth really is coming to hate lessons learned.]

I'm okay if he blames me. Figured the devil hated me for a few years now.

[It's a cheap attempt at a joke, and he knows it.

As quietly, as softly as he can, he pulls the gun from his waistband, thumb on the safety.]

Get comfortable, and I promise this won't hurt.

[He's staying close, wanting her to feel them there. They wouldn't let her die alone.]

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe almost wants to laugh at the idea of it not hurting, but she's also not sure it can hurt any more than it already does. But she's starting to feel tired, and confused, a little listless more than scared and she knows she's about to die either way at this point. At least now she won't have to worry about hurting anybody.

While, physically, anyway. At least for her, the pain will be over quick enough. Seth and Lucifer are left with whatever comes next. ]

I hope you're a good shot. [ Terrible last words, but she wants to make Seth laugh. The finality of it all feels too forced, especially with the knowledge that she will come back from this. Chloe lets out a long breath, and it's easier to close her eyes than she thought it would be. Maybe she'll fall asleep before it even happens. She lets go of Lucifer's hand but she can still feel them both there with her, and she's suddenly thankful they didn't let her do this on her own.

She's not exactly ready to die, but she's come to peace with it, for the time being. ]

[walkingheroin]

[She tries to let go of her hand, and he refuses, shifting closer instead, completely unworried about the idea of Seth somehow hitting him instead. The man is a good shot, he's pretty sure. It wouldn't matter either way.

He pulls her arm in, cradling it against his chest, with his side against the frame of the chair while he sits on the floor. His head tilts away, unable to watch, instead flicking his eyes up at Seth briefly and then down at the floor.

He shuts his eyes. He waits for the noise.]

[screwedontight]

No worries, Chloe. No worries.

[Trying to put humor into his tones that isn't there. Even as his thumb brushes off the safety. He's been prepared this entire time to kill any zombie that came near them, but he never thought he would have to do this.

Meeting Lucifer's gaze, giving the man a nod before he brings the muzzle up. Not looking away, not risking the movement of his gaze will move the muzzle. No chance that he won't finish her quickly and humanely. That he won't ever forget the image of the moment that Chloe died by his hand.

He pulled the trigger.]