everybody dies but not everybody lives

[thesamurai]

Who: Michonne and You
Where: The Gardens
When: Approximately nowish
Rating: PG, will rate higher if needed
Summary: Michonne wants to make a nice spot for people. Well, for her. But others are invited, too.
Notes: Will match brackets or prose!
The Story:

[ Michonne isn't and has never been the type to cling to things. She didn't keep anything from the ravaged camp that took her son away from her. She didn't take anything to keep at the prison after a few good months there. She didn't keep her room here in Wonderland decorated with the touches Andrea added before she disappeared. That's not who she is. She'd rather close her eyes and think about the memories, the moments she spent at places that were no longer, or of people who were gone. But there's something about right now that feels different.

In the gardens, she looks around, finding an area that seems like it's somewhat removed from the rest of the space while still obviously being a part of the well-manicured landscape. After a few brief trips back and forth between an empty first-floor closet and this pretty spot, she begins gardening. She learned a lot from Herschel when they made a good go of farming at the prison, and now she's planting a big cluster of different colored Dahlias. They're the kind of flower that needs to be free from others, that only thrive in their isolation. They'll die in the winter and come back in the spring and they represent, in a fact not lost on Michonne - instability.

They represent Wonderland and the people who've left perfectly.

She's out for hours gardening, working up a sweat, but she's used to being out in the heat for long stretches at a time. Though, if someone brought her water she'd be grateful because she forgot, and she's too stubborn to stop what she's doing to go back inside. ]

Comments

[thesamurai]

[ I mean who lets some sweat and heat stop people from talking? Weaklings, that's who. ]

Looks like, for better or worse. You hold up okay back in Alexandria?

[ That's really all that matters to Michonne, that she can actually count more people who made it out than died, and so far the numbers have weighed on the more positive side of things. ]

[angewiesen]

Yeah. It wasn't too hard for me. We have monsters a lot like those Walkers back in my world... And I've talked to Clementine a few times before, so I had an idea of what to expect already.

[And he was lucky enough to arrive with his gear. He was glad he kept it ready in his room at all times.]

You... Planting flowers here?

[thesamurai]

Oh yeah? Is your world as screwed as mine?

[ Looking back at the flowers, she wants to retort with something sarcastic but she's too tired. ]

Remembering some people who've left.

[angewiesen]

I think yours is a little more "screwed," but Walkers are easier to deal with than Titans. In a one-on-one kind of way.

[He sat on the edge of raised bed.]

Left Wonderland? [Or left her?]

[thesamurai]

Titans? Big things, they were uh...skinned? When I arrived here, the mansion was mid attack from those things. You say they're easier to deal with?

[ They didn't seem that way, but then maybe her perception was pretty far off since she was new and fresh off of cannibals trying to eat her. ]

Left here; people I lost back home, too. Doesn't look like I'll have much time to do this at home, and at least here, even when I leave, the flowers'll stay.

[angewiesen]

Wait, they were here?

[Jean had been alone since he got here several months back, so if there was an event involving Titans in the past... Were his friends here in the past too?]

Titans are, uh... They're usually around 10 meters tall, they go after people to eat them... They usually aren't skinned though.

[He'll get back to the flowers in a minute.]

[thesamurai]

All I know is they were ugly and angry. I'm pretty sure they were called Titans, but to be fair it was my first event. There are archives though, you go back far enough on your device. Was about...two years ago now.

[ Michonne's either been in Wonderland too long or not long enough. She's not sure what the right answer is. ]

lol this event was actually from me when i played armin 2 1/2 years ago...

[angewiesen]

[Jean immediately took out his device. Nobody's told him this before! Gosh, you live in a Mansion for 6 months and nobody tells you the important stuff...]

[After a few minutes of fiddling, he found the entry for January 2015, the 9th through the 12th. He turned his device around to show it to Michonne.]

This one? Here?

lmao amazing

[thesamurai]

[ Michonne looks, then nods. ]

That's it. First thing I saw the day I got here. Left a damn impression.

[ It took her about six months from that point to trust anything about Wonderland at all, and even now, it's only the people she's gotten to know that she really trusts.

I obviously have a problem

[angewiesen]

Shit. Shit.

[Jean pulled a hand back through his hair in amazement.]

I thought I was leaving them behind... But I'm the one that's late! Two whole fucking years late! Fucking typical!

[He didn't sound angry as much as he did... confounded. Perplexed. He'd never approached the problem from this angle before!]

There were here and gone ages ago...

a glorious problem, tho

[thesamurai]

Does it make it better or worse, knowing the event could always happen again? Some version of it, anyway.

[ But she does feel bad for him, knowing his people were here, that they were gone before he even showed up. ]

That happened to me, too. People talking to me about a friend who'd been here but was already gone by the time I showed up.

[angewiesen]

Not... Not really. [He slumped, and rested his forehead in his hand.] Damn. I wasn't here...

[...But he still wanted to find them here. He wanted to share this time with them. This place had really screwed him up.]

[thesamurai]

[ Michonne gives him more of her attention, a frown creasing her forehead. ]

Nothing here is on you. Wonderland does shit without caring about who it impacts. You can't carry that.

[ A lesson she's having to learn after her own event, and easier said than done, she knows. ]

[angewiesen]

I know, it's just... [He made a helpless, frustrated noise.] I know they managed without me. But we're supposed to fight together.

[thesamurai]

[ Michonne looks down at the flowers again, then nods. ]

Yeah. I get it. How I feel about being here. I know time isn't moving. But my friends, my family's still there, and I'm here. Planting flowers. Getting ready to go inside, take a shower in hot water, eat fresh food.

[ She's been here long enough that she's stopped feeling perpetually guilty about it, but still. She understands where he's coming from at least a little. ]

[angewiesen]

Exactly. [Jean hasn't gotten over that kind of guilt. Not yet.] They're... They're my life. They're what I chose for myself. It feels wrong to fall off that path.

[thesamurai]

You didn't fall. Wonderland fucked you up. There's a difference, you know.

[angewiesen]

Yeah, well. Whether you trip, or someone pushes you, a fall's still a fall.

[thesamurai]

Then I guess all that matters is what you do when you get back up.

[angewiesen]

Haven't really figured that part out yet.

[thesamurai]

My best advice is you can either live with it, or you can't. Make room for it if you there's no letting go, exists with it if you have to, but don't drown.

[ There are so many regrets Michonne has, people she wasn't there for who died (her own son, Andrea), choices she could have made. Even an event that was from her home that she wasn't here for, so she relates to that, too. But you have to make room for whatever pain that brings in order to keep surviving. ]

Not that you asked for my advice. Sorry.

[angewiesen]

...Nah, it's fine. My head needs screwing back onto my shoulders sometimes. [He rubbed the back of his neck wearily.] Advice helps. And we've got pretty similar problems on our hands.