[closed] heart old and testified

[walkingheroin]

Who: Lucifer Morningstar and Klaus Mikaelson
Where: Deux Lux
When: Sometime in August???
Rating: Pretty tame, for them.
Summary: Lucifer is really, really bad at feelings. Klaus ain't so great at it either. Girls are hard.
The Story:

[He hasn't seen his friend too often lately, and he's been keen to collect the thoughts and advice of those he considers in that category.

So on a particularly slow night at his club, he shoots Klaus a text, hoping for a quick reply.]

Come have a drink with me. Or several.

I'll break out the good stuff that I've been saving.

Comments

[poppycock]

[ the reply is quick and in the affirmative. it has been far too long since he's seen or spoken at length to his friend, the devil, and quite frankly he could use the distraction. all klaus has to spend his nights is an empty bed and a cawing raven pecking at caroline's pillow.

(he relates.) ]

You had me at drink.

[ klaus shows up already about half a bottle of scotch down. he spots and approaches lucifer over by bar. ] Any particular occasion?

[walkingheroin]

Do we really need one?

[It becomes clear that by 'the good stuff' he meant the stuff that might cause their literal deaths as he reaches high into a closed cupboard for a familiar bottle of green liquid.

He may have brought back a souvenir from space for just this very occasion.]

Might as well have a drink to celebrate my partner's new bedfellow. After all, it means I'll have quite a bit more time on my hands. Meanwhile, you can catch me up on all your fabulous adventures since you've practically been a ghost around here.

[Not that he's been much better.]

[poppycock]

[ no, they do not need one. particularly now when his own occasion is hardly up for discussion — not for the lack of feeling the effects but out of the imperative not to: klaus knows if he thinks too long and too hard about caroline and the empty spaces she left behind, something will snap inside of him, something inconsolable. something angry and pained and violent and helpless.

klaus' brows lift at the appearance of a familiar and quite effective drink. he may be somewhat sloshed himself, but there is obviously an occasion for this sacrificial indulgence, and lucifer's explanation goes a long way in illuminating the true answer.

of course it's chloe, exploring other pastures. of course it's the detective, for why wouldn't she do so with how disparagingly (and klaus would argue somewhat conveniently) she thinks of lucifer's feelings for her? why wouldn't it be, when lucifer reacts in such a bitter and (he'll guess from the tone) passive manner? (he's heard enough.)

he reaches to take the bottle from lucifer's hand before he can think to pour. it seems only right. he does so himself, filling them rocks glass each. ] Nonsense, [ he counters, setting them up, ] I've been here plenty. [ to watch caroline, mostly, but eh. ]

[walkingheroin]

[He reaches for the provided glass after allowing him to pour without argument. He drinks half the glass in one go, the ice clinking together in the glass as he sets it down on the bar.]

Perhaps I've been distracted.

[A small admission; he's definitely been distracted, not to mention upstairs more often than he ought to be. Thank goodness for MJ or the place wouldn't have anyone running it some nights.

At least he's done that small thing right.]

[poppycock]

[ distracted would cover it.

it's the sour mood he's been in, emerging from just beneath his depths. it's the cathartic comfort and amusement he enjoys from pointing out the faults and flaws in love lives other than his own. and it's because lucifer is his friend, and he does care about chloe.

klaus does not sit but simply leans against the bar next to lucifer, facing him, his emerald drink lifted and paused near his lips. ] Clearly; when someone else is with the woman you love and you just can't seem to get it right. [ a humorless, bitter smile is touching his lips. his eyes watch his friend's expression intently. ]

[walkingheroin]

[He stills at the word, as if not quite sure he heard him correctly before he immediately finishes the rest of that first glass and refills it.

I'm sure that's a great sign.]

I'm afraid you must be talking about someone else.

[Lucifer has come to accept that he's capable and has experienced a variety of emotions during his time in Wonderland. He's learned to even manage them and be able to identify them, to a point.

But he's still the Devil. Even if he was capable of....love, no one had ever been in love with him and no one ever would, so what was the point?]

[poppycock]

[ klaus watches how earnestly and easily lucifer swallows his drink down, only to reach to pour another. it's the reason he doesn't drink his — well that and his answer. perhaps if lucifer is to come to terms, it's better for both of them to have levels of disparity. ] Am I? [ he shoots back with unerring skepticism. ] You know what I believe? I believe you and your partner doth protest too much. [ he sits, and takes a modest sip of his drink. the alcohol is warm in his belly; he lets it sit. he lets his words sit too, to see if the bait is enough. ]

[walkingheroin]

[Now he's not entirely shocked to be called out like this, but Chloe?]

You've spoken to the Detective about this?

[He may look far too interested in Klaus' answer then he should for someone who doesn't think it's possible.]

[poppycock]

[ klaus takes another drink, this time a more substantial one, and puts it down. ] No woman with that much resentment isn't in love in equal measure. [ the words are spoken with easy, level knowing. he doesn't have to speak to the detective about this: she does, in every word and tone and gesture she makes when lucifer is on her tongue or in her eyes or wringing her hands.

she's in love with him, and he has betrayed her.

he knows how that goes. (he has been in love with caroline, and he betrayed her too.)

he had someone who loved him. he had someone he loved. he had that chance, that piece of of happiness, to know what it was like to hold her, to protect her, to love her, to feel all that was in between, and to have it in return. it was a stolen love, he knows, through circumstance, but it was also real. it is still real, and he longs for it.

he also knows he does not have it now and he might not have it back.

the look in his eyes softens with that grief and that yearning clutching and weighing down at his heart. he leans over, places a hand on one of lucifer's shoulders, and looks him in the eyes. ] You are both wasting your time. She loves you and you love her, so my advice to you would be to strive to make it that simple.

[ he is bitter and angry thinking about what they have and what they shirk, but his feeling and words are fierce. they are sincere and full of heart. he pulls back, faces the bar, and takes his drink back in hand. ] Figure out what ails her and do everything in your power to make it right.

[ he did. he would do so again and again. he knows, swallowing hard, that he must now. when she lets him. ]

[walkingheroin]

[Lucifer looks almost distant at this revelation, as if his eyes have been opened and yet he doesn't know what to do with what he's been presented.]

I admit I don't have much experience with...love.

[As far as he's concerned, his parents never loved him, or no longer did even if they might have at one time. It's long enough ago that it doesn't matter much either way. The same went for his siblings, he supposed.]

She's already chosen someone else, I'm afraid, even if what you say is true.

[poppycock]

( whatever experience lucifer has with love, or the acceptance of it, klaus can relate. as with many of their confessions and conversations, lucifer's feelings strike true in the heart of klaus' — he also knows, like himself, love is the one thing lucifer truly craves. the one thing he's been denied.

klaus looks over at the pronouncement, but doesn't address it. instead, he continues with quiet, sure intensity. ) So go to her. Be certain that she understands where you stand. Let her make that choice. ( some might say that is selfish. perhaps it is.

but if chloe truly wants to be with lucifer, then it would be foolish not to. )

[walkingheroin]

I don't know if I can.

[He doesn't know how. The very idea of it terrifies him in a way he isn't sure he's ever felt. He knows that, for his part, Klaus is correct. He'd wondered what this feeling was for so long, had wondered if it were a figment of his imagination, if it could possibly be returned.

Her going to Seth made it seem like the latter wasn't true, however.]

What if she rejects me?

[The way everyone else has. He's not sure he could take it.]

[poppycock]

( lucifer is capable of this. that is doubt talking, and in klaus' experience, the want of those he desires has always outweighed his doubts. it has always propelled him forward. and when and where it has not, he has regretted it.

his heart squeezes in his chest. what if she rejects me? he knows that helplessness. he knows that anguish, from his father, his mother, his siblings, aurora, and others. he also knows the truth of this what if is hardly comforting, but it's what he would do. ) Then you tell her that you will love her regardless, ( he pauses, letting that pain sink in for them both, and finishes, ) and you move on.

( with a sharp breath, he looks away. ) Love isn't an easy thing. Nor is it anything short of terrifying. But take it from someone who has spent centuries denouncing every incarnation of it just as I craved its comforts and rarity: ( klaus' gaze returns. ) It's worth the fight. It's worth the chance, and the pain.

( even the pain. )

[walkingheroin]

[Lucifer has wanted a great many things in his life, but never quite like this.

Or perhaps this is the only thing he's ever truly wanted and the rest was a lie to himself so he could believe he had everything.

Either way, it's frightening.]

You make it sound simple, even if it isn't easy.

[He seems to hesitate a moment more before his pulls in a breath and straightens out his posture, exhaling with his chin lifted.]

Very well, I will fight for her. [A beat.] I assume you don't mean I should actual duel her boyfriend to the death or anything.

[poppycock]

( very few things worth doing are easy. klaus has spent so many centuries of his life doing what's easy, what's been cowardly, what's given him nothing but pain.

he pulls in a breath and lets it out, relieved at the very least that lucifer will try. he knows that way might lead to heartache. his own makes it impossible for him to spare much happiness, but he hopes — he does hope.

klaus takes a drink and lets it dull his senses. a smile, mustered and wry, follows. ) Only if you think it will help. ( he looks lucifer's way and shares that smile.

he suspects lucifer's considered it. he would've. )