entrancelogs | [closed] Something always brings me back to you.

Who: Cullen Rutherford & Garrett Hawke
Where: Their Room (1/003)
When: (backdated to) October 1st
Rating: PG/PG-13
Summary: It has been years. Or days, depending on your view. Cullen is returning from home.
The Story:

Will he ever get used to returning here? Cullen doubts it. He does not swing his sword at nothing, this time. Only a stack of books drops to the floor at his feet, when the scenery changes, and his desk is left in Thedas. A second of tense alarm, followed by comprehension, which turns the expression into a weary frown.

"This blighted place again," he mutters under his breath, as the memories come washing back.

He picks up the last book when it hits him. And there, all of a sudden, two years of absence condense themselves into a single moment, as it dawns on him that something was missing all this time. Someone. Garrett. He remembers the room number as he walks, quickly down the corridor. It wasn't- isn't long, from the entrance hall to there, he remembers too.

He puts his hand flat on the door. How long-- Cullen pulls the communication device from his pocket. Where he knew it would be again. His scowl is fleeting. He reads back, until the transmissions sound familiar again. Difficult to remember, after... so long for him, but what? A mere week here? Cullen shakes his head. No matter. There will be far too much of that strangeness later. He opens the door, finally.

...Steps into the room, quietly, and thinks it half a miracle the dogs did not wake from the intrusion all the same. He looks around, and finds it all much the same as he left it. Finds Garrett asleep in their bed. He puts the books down on his desk quietly. Through the window the sun is slowly beginning to rise.

Cullen sits down on the bed, and puts his hand on Garrett's shoulder.

"Maker, I've missed you so much."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He always worries when Cullen goes home. Sure, it's only happened twice but Thedas is Thedas. There's every chance he'll come back with horrible, gut wrenching news about the state of the world, or even worse, himself. The week passes slowly, the worst case scenarios hanging over his head like a cloud and all he can do is keep the dogs company.

Or rather, let them lay on top of him as he tries and fails to distract himself.

Even with Cullen gone -- and his personal effects are still here, he checks every day -- he sticks to their routine. In bed by midnight at the latest, though without the comfortable warmth of Cullen against him, he finds it harder to sleep. Garrett shifts in his sleep when the bed dips suddenly, only waking when he hears a familiar voice.

"-- You're," his eyes open, blearily and he can barely see in the low light of the morning but he can make out Cullen. "You're back."

His tired eyes are enough for a small twinge of guilt. You could have waited for him to wake on his own. Cullen runs his hand down Garrett's arm, until their fingers entwine. His face looks impossibly young, compared to the man who stepped out of the Fade at Adamant Fortress... over two years ago at that.

(News since then have been scarce. His absence made for a passing thought in Thedas, lingering only every so often. Here it grows to a lump in Cullen's throat immediately, and he swallows for breath.)

He squeezes Garrett's hand harder, leans down closer.

"I've-- Maker!"

And disappears underneath a moving mountain of fur, as two mabari suddenly insist on their greetings as well. Not so fast asleep after all.

Garrett squeezes Cullen's hand the instant their fingers are entwined together. As the fog of sleep clears, he takes Cullen in and Maker, he looks so much healthier. He'd been improving here in Wonderland but there's a marked difference now, after his time back in Thedas.

How long had it been?

There's no time to ask, between Garrett trying to close the distance between them and Cullen suddenly being covered in mabari.

"Hey --" Nope, he can't talk too clearly right now, too busy laughing at the absurdity of it. "Hey, down, come on."

Unfortunately, they don't appear to be in the mood to listen to Garrett with Cullen back.

Both Cullen's time in the Order and his time at the helm of the Inquisition's military have taught him valuable lessons in strategy and combat. Years of experience to know how a battle is won, and when victory is hopelessly forfeit. Struggling against the two mabari is clearly a case of the latter.

He endures their love valiantly, reassuring words that yes, of course, he missed them too, confirmed repeatedly until their excitement lets up- just a little, just enough. "All right, you heard it, down, boys. Down."

They listen, if grudgingly. If poised by the bed, as if expecting a chance to overturn the verdict any second. Cullen turns from their attention quickly, and looks at Garrett, finally. Finally.

"Your turn."

Cullen takes him by the back of his neck, and pulls him into a kiss.

They wait by the bed and Garrett risks it to give them both a quick scratch behind the ears to assure them that they haven't been forgotten. But both mabari know how nervous he was during Cullen's disappearance, so fortunately, they don't take the opportunity to swarm both of them again.

"It's about--" He's cut off by the kiss, one hand moving to Cullen's hair, the other to his back to pull him closer. The kiss parts for all of a second before Garrett gives him another, and another, and another.

Cullen pulls him closer, until they lie on the bed entwined, until the moment comes when, if Cullen doesn't speak up about something now, they won't talk about anything at all until well past morning. Not that he minds, Wonderland can wait another day after all this, but--

Reluctantly Cullen pulls away, rests his forehead against Garrett's instead.

"What did I miss?"

Garrett would be perfectly happy to simply lie here with Cullen and make up for lost time. There is the pressing matter of what, exactly, Cullen has lived through and the fact he no longer looks like he's seconds from passing out from exhaustion.

"Not a lot. The dogs made sure--" they perk up at the mention, before deflating when they realise they aren't going to get any attention, "I actually slept. But what about you? You look... You look better, Cullen."

He smiles, pleased that they kept Garrett safe and well. He frees his hand, and scratches their heads as reward. Better. Cullen laughs.

"It helps that the world hasn't tried to end in the last few days."

His smile fades to contentment under a thoughtful expression.

"We, ah." Nearly three years of his life, and yet the answer is simple. "We-- The Inquisition is disbanded. We did what we set out to do."

...There is still Solas, there will always be something, but for the first time in years Cullen feels like he can finally breathe.

"Always a plus."

He doesn't know what he's expecting but it has to be good if it means Cullen looks healthy, looks happy. There's always worry about his lyrium withdrawal, but as far as he can tell, Cullen is managing far better than he was and that makes his heart soar.

"Congratulations are in order. Maybe you even deserve a reward or two, your choice."

There is more to tell. Much more, about all their lives, but... Cullen remembers how Garrett feels about the future. He has taken to revealing little his partner does not ask for, himself. Maker, but imagine his face if he said the words Viscount Tethras. Cullen hides his grin behind a kiss.

"I'm back with you. What more could I want."

The same for Thedas, a voice whispers at the back of his mind. Quiet. Sad. Knowing they could both return, and still be together. He kisses Garrett again.

Anything Garrett could say to that is immediately swallowed by the kiss, his face flushing red at the sincerity of it. This is all he needs, too; knowing that Cullen is back with him, safe and healthy. He draws the kiss out until he absolutely needs to breathe, putting their foreheads together again as he breathes in and out.

"Nothing comes to mind at all? I'm more than happy to give the Inquisition's Commander anything he wants."

The more they kiss the more Cullen feels the emptiness of all the time he spent without Garrett by his side. The more the gap demands to be filled, hungry compensation for a life that never was. He kisses him to match, as if it might be his only chance. And then once more with relief, when it turns out that it was not.

Afterwards he lowers his gaze, his smile weak and just a little bashful. His hand runs down Garrett's back all the same.

"Ah, I should warn you. With the Inquisition gone I- don't suppose I can claim that title any longer. I'm afraid you are rewarding a man without rank."

Garrett notices the urgency and chalks it up to their brief separation. It had only been a week for him, but it might have been far, far long for Cullen. If he could pull himself away, he'd take another look and see if Cullen looks any older, but kissing him is more important. Reminding him that he's here, that he's real and they're together again is more important.

Hawke lifts Cullen's chin to look him in the eye, "I'm rewarding the man I love, and even if you no longer claim that title, you were still Commander."

Before Cullen can answer, he kisses him again.

[closed] Something always brings me back to you.

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