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[testcase]

Who: Ryoko and you!
Where: The Gardens
When: October 15th
Rating: PG
Summary: Ryoko exploring the gardens!
The Story:

Today, Ryoko can be found outside, strolling around the gardens with her notebook open, writing down her observations and notes about it. She thinks she should have had notes on this place, but there's nothing in her book. There's some notes about a flood during a prior event, so maybe they were lost then?

Or maybe she never wrote anything down beyond that the gardens existed. Most of her notes about Wonderland's geography pertain to inside the mansion, so she must've thought this place wasn't important. It had nothing to do with her.

But she did write that she was going to try and not write things off as having nothing to do with her as often as she used to, and yes the note's old, but since she noticed it again today, she's trying to correct what was probably an oversight on her part.

So she'll be spending most of her day out here, this way when she forgets about this place again, she'll at least have her notes to fall back on if she decides to visit this part of the grounds again.

Comments

[testcase]

“A ghost?”

She's a little confused by that one too. But she'll think about it for a little while, and it makes sense. Sort of.

“Because you don't remember doing it. So it's like watching someone else who looks like you doing things. Or if it's a recording, it's like watching actors who look like you going through the motions of being you.”

She gets it, she thinks. And she can see how weird it could be.

“It'd be like reading my notebook and getting the feeling that I was reading a story about me instead of things I'd written down. At least I think that's the closest comparison.”

And right after saying that, she stops abruptly looking embarrassed.

“Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that. I don't remember if I've said this before but my notebook says I'm the Super High School Analyst, and I guess I must've stumbled across that page and my talent kind of got a mind of its own.”

[postictal]

Yeah. He figured she'd get it. The analogy isn't perfect across both mediums, but it gets to a point well enough. Like watching someone who is, and isn't you. It's like watching someone long-dead, scripting words with no knowledge of what might happen, of the fact that they'll never remember that precise moment the same way.

One corner of his mouth lifts faintly in something approaching a smile. As close as it gets with him.

"Don't worry about it. It's...I said I'd always be around if you wanted to talk about it." Even if she didn't write it down, even if she doesn't remember now - he meant it.

[testcase]

"Let me write that down. I'll forget again, but this way I have it in this notebook too."

If there's people willing to listen, then that's something really important. She might not entirely remember, but she didn't have very many people like that back home. So the more of them in Wonderland, the better.

"There we go. Um. I'll probably put it in my other notebooks too, so this doesn't happen again. If somebody's willing to talk to me about things, I should do my best to try and not forget it."

[postictal]

His brow creeps down into a frown, one corner of his mouth twisting.

"Someone take your notebook?" Do people keep taking her notebooks? There was the shit with the Mirrors, but that feels comparatively a hell of a long time ago. He doesn't even know how long she's been here. And, hell, there's every chance she wouldn't be able to tell him herself.

[testcase]

"No!"

She doesn't want to even think about that. For someone like her, the thought of someone taking her notebook is the most terrifying thing in the world. It's way scarier than any horror movie she's ever seen or any of the things Wonderland's used for an event. Scarier than all of that combined even.

"I mean no. It's just that um, according to this, I filled up my regular notebook, so now I have to use a second one."

[postictal]

Wrong thing to say. Immediately, his shoulders hitch upward in an involuntary flinch, and he grimaces. Can't say he blames her for that. Anyone could just sabotage her utterly, and she'd be none the wiser.

He raises one hand, palm out, in a hopefully peaceable gesture.

"Sorry. I mean, there was just that thing with Mirrors stealing people's stuff a little while ago. I wanted to, uh - make sure."

[testcase]

"There was?"

She doesn't remember this. But of course she wouldn't. Her mirror took something from her, someone got it and gave it back to her, and at the moment, she doesn't remember that happening at all.

"Um, if there was, I don't think I lost anything. I don't even know if I have a mirror, so something like that probably had nothing to do with me."

[postictal]

"Everyone here does." Shit. If she doesn't have a lot of information about Mirrors written down, that's just an excuse for things to get really bad. Any one of them could take her off guard. And if she runs into one of the nastier ones, there's no goddamn telling what they'd do to exploit memory problems like that.

God knows his Mirror already exploited Tim's.

It's stupid. It's stupid, because she probably has plenty of people looking after her and making sure she doesn't get hurt, but it bodes a warning, doesn't it?

"And most of them are really not the kinds of people you wanna meet," he adds, emphatic.

[testcase]

She really can't fathom what kind of people she wouldn't want to meet. Now, her main notebook, the one in her room, it'd certainly give her a few ideas. But this one doesn't.

"Mirrors are evil versions of us, right?"

She has that much in this book at least.

"So if my mirror is just me, they wouldn't remember either, so I wouldn't have too much to worry about from them...right?"

She doesn't seem so sure.

[postictal]

"Not necessarily. Sometimes they're just...a different kind of you. A what-if."

He doesn't think about his. Not if he can help it. Granted, the bastard makes himself difficult to avoid thinking about. He's just kind of an insufferable bastard in how bent he is on encroaching upon Tim's space - upon Jay's. "Sometimes they're the same. Sometimes they're...not."

The guy seems, after all, considerably more with it than Tim feels. Or maybe he's just a better liar about it.

[testcase]

Honestly, she's not really sure what to make of that. Her Mirror could be different? A what if? What if what? What if she didn't have amnesia? What if she had a different talent? Who even knows? She'd like to write off something with so many questions as having nothing to do with her, but...

“I should probably write that down. It might be important.”

She sounds like she doesn't want to, but she'll write it down anyway.

[postictal]

He's the guy who's gotta break the news to her, huh? Or maybe he just might as well be. Spoiling the illusion that this place can be halfway tolerable for once. Yeah. Sounds about right for him.

"...yeah. I mean, they're not usually - if there's something they think they can take advantage of, they'll do it." He winces as he says it, one hand creeping up to the back of his neck. "They've done it to me."

[testcase]

Yup, he's the first one to tell her. No one that's encountered her mirror has actually told her about it, so this is all new information that's being added to her book. And this really falls under the header of having nothing to do with her, but since she's collecting mirror information, she may as well ask.

“What happened?”

[postictal]

"One of them tricked a friend of mine into thinking he'd done...something. Something really bad. Did a damn good job of it, too." Honestly, he could list out a great long ream of transgressions his Mirror's trotted out in the year or so Tim's been here, but it's not exactly something he wants common knowledge.

It's not something anyone should want common knowledge.

"He's...kinda got the same problems as me."

[testcase]

"So there's someone else here with memory problems too?"

This is definitely important, so she's still writing. There's no specifics, but hearing that mirrors have exploited memory loss is something that actually does worry her. Or will for as long as she can remember it.

"And it's easier for mirrors to trick people like us because we don't remember."

She thinks she understands now.

[postictal]

"Yeah. But he's, uh...not really one for talking about it." Not that Tim's exactly talkative in that regard either. Unless he thinks there's the slightest possibility he might be able to help. Which, given his track record, isn't even all that fucking likely.

But he still tries, huh?

For all the good that does.

"But - yeah. Way easier."

[testcase]

"He should be."

Okay, it's not really her business, but she'll explain.

"Um, according to this, I've met a lot of people that are willing to help or try to understand my condition, so maybe someday one of them might be able to help me with my memory. So they might be able to help him too."

Or she could be way off base here which is entirely possible.

[postictal]

Tim's mouth twitches at one corner, lifting into something right-handed.

"Yeah. I know he should. He's just...not really willing to admit he has that kind of problem, I guess." She can trust him when he says it's an unending source of profound frustration. He plain has no idea how to go about doing it, either. He always knew that there was something wrong with him, when he started seeing things, when he started having fits and seizures and violent episodes and delusions, when doctors started asking him funny questions and shining lights into his eyes. No one broke the news to him gently.

Jay's never had to face even that.

[testcase]

"Maybe I could talk to him? I.."

She'll check her notes to make sure. It doesn't exactly say but given this note and a few other lines, she's pretty sure she's right about this one.

"I don't think I used to really talk to people about my problem either. It wasn't admitting it, I think I just assumed that because I couldn't remember people there was no point and I'd forget them, and since there weren't people in my notes, they didn't really pay attention or remember either."

It's kind of amazing what someone can put together with super analytical ability. Even if they don't remember having it sometimes.

"Um, so I might've missed out on a ton of people who could've helped or wanted to talk. And I'm not really better off now, but I still think I'm doing better, so maybe talking to someone like that might help."

[postictal]

"It's not really...he's just kinda in denial, is the thing." He winces slightly as he says it, managing to merge the grimace with something distinctly displeased and profoundly exasperated. Jay's everything is a perpetual uphill struggle for him, not the least bit helped by his refusal to acknowledge that there even is a problem in the first place.

He's off-track. Talking about his own damn problems instead of hers. Can't help but be real goddamn selfish about all of it, huh?

Stupid.

"Sorry. This isn't really your - I mean, it's not your problem."

[testcase]

"It's okay. If you offered to help me with my problems, then I don't mind hearing about yours. Or your friend's."

That's only fair, after all.

[postictal]

"Yeah, but it's not like I've really helped a whole lot yet." Regardless, something of her earnest pronouncement pulls something answering from him, the faintest stirrings of a smile. "You think about storing information on your phone? I mean, I guess that'd be pretty risky when events take them away from us, but...I dunno."

A feeble attempt to help. Yeah, and he's doing so great with that, huh?

[testcase]

"I don't know if I've thought about it or not."

She'll take out her device and check to see, and nope, there's nothing on there.

"Um, but unless someone reminds me, I might forget it's there, so that might not be the best idea."

[postictal]

"Yeah. Good point." Hence why reliance on technology, he learns, has not historically gone over great for people with memory problems. Even cameras are fallible. Beyond fallible, even - footage can be stolen, hijacked, manipulated, destroyed. Sometimes it can just cloud things even more.

Phones can surely be no different.

"What happens when you fill your notebook up, then? You just...keep carrying around more and more?"

[testcase]

"According to this, I keep the filled notebooks in my room and start a new one."

It's not the best system in the world, but she wouldn't have written it down if it didn't work. Probably.