[ Mondo has his eyes shut, waiting for a whiplash. After all, someone you've trusted for so long, someone you thought to be your friend admitted to have killed not only one but two people before. Mondo himself can't predict what kind of emotion will hit him first from Jon. Maybe anger, maybe disappointment, maybe disgust...
And yet, he gets something completely unexpected. ]
...Huh?
[ He opens his eyes wide in disbelief.
None of that kind came his way.
Instead, he sees in Jon's eyes what he saw in Ishimaru's when he first broke the news to him: a will to trust him, despite everything. Sometimes he wonders, how in earth does he deserve people like them? Second chances and everything, he's... he's not the one should be granted that, right? Grasping the fabric on his own trousers, Mondo resolves to talk about it. He'll begin from the first murder. ]
Uh... right, well. I told you how back in my world, I was the 'Super High School Level Biker Gang Leader', right? My biker gang... Crazy Diamond, is [ Was? He'd like to believe it still exists, somewhere. ] a team my big brother started.
My big bro was this real cool guy. [ His eyes narrow slightly in the lull of nostalgia, flutters of fondness escaping his lashes. ] He was so fuckin' charismatic that all of us respected him so much and wanted to follow him along wherever he went. But... in Japan, you can't keep being in a biker gang once you've become an adult. 'Cuz to the society, we're scums. Well, 's not like I don't get where they were comin' from. We didn't do shit apart from makin' noises and breakin' things.
[ Uh, he's getting off-tangent... ] Anyway. Point is, he had to 'graduate', and someone had to take over. [ He sighs, scratching the back of his head. ] I was the 'number two' of the team, right behind him. So naturally, I had to be the next leader. But, y'know. 'course not all the members would just agree. Everyday, I'd hear people talkin' 'bout how I'd lead our team astray, shit like that...
And I let that pressure to win over me.
[ The calmness in his own voice surprises even himself, but coming to terms with what happened has helped with that, very much so. ]
I challenged him to a race on his retirement night, thinking that if I could beat him, I'd win the members' acknowledgement.
[ Mondo almost smiles as he continues, even though sadness fill his thistle irises. ] He was too powerful, both in speed and skills. He was just, way out of my league. I should've known that, but still, I got desperate, and I... crossed over to the opposite traffic lane, thinking I could overtake him. [ And that always goes well, doesn't it. Ha ha. ] Well, what can I say... those lane dividers were there for a reason. [ He tries to joke, but it probably doesn't come out the way he wanted it to ー there's no amusement in his voice. ]
A vehicle sped towards me then, and, everything just happened in a snap. [ The flash of light, the dull pain, the deafening crashing sounds. ] When I realised what was going on, I was at the other side of the road, and he... lied in the middle of the street, bleeding.
[ Even now, the image of it is fresh in his mind. ]
He didn't blame me for it, he even apologised, saying he fucked up. [ An airless laugh escapes him here. ] Can you believe that? All he asked from me was to keep the team together, the team... we've built together, he said. [ There's a limit to how much someone could be so generous, goddammit. ]
It was all 'cuz of my weakness. If I had just fought the pressure, he wouldn't have to die like that. I didn't even tell the team what happened... I let them believe that he offed himself 'cuz he was losin' to me. I was scared the team would fall apart, even if it was my job to keep them together, no matter what.
[ Now with this, Mondo's sure Jon will see him a different light. Disillusioned, maybe. ]
no subject
And yet, he gets something completely unexpected. ]
...Huh?
[ He opens his eyes wide in disbelief.
None of that kind came his way.
Instead, he sees in Jon's eyes what he saw in Ishimaru's when he first broke the news to him: a will to trust him, despite everything. Sometimes he wonders, how in earth does he deserve people like them? Second chances and everything, he's... he's not the one should be granted that, right? Grasping the fabric on his own trousers, Mondo resolves to talk about it. He'll begin from the first murder. ]
Uh... right, well. I told you how back in my world, I was the 'Super High School Level Biker Gang Leader', right? My biker gang... Crazy Diamond, is [ Was? He'd like to believe it still exists, somewhere. ] a team my big brother started.
My big bro was this real cool guy. [ His eyes narrow slightly in the lull of nostalgia, flutters of fondness escaping his lashes. ] He was so fuckin' charismatic that all of us respected him so much and wanted to follow him along wherever he went. But... in Japan, you can't keep being in a biker gang once you've become an adult. 'Cuz to the society, we're scums. Well, 's not like I don't get where they were comin' from. We didn't do shit apart from makin' noises and breakin' things.
[ Uh, he's getting off-tangent... ] Anyway. Point is, he had to 'graduate', and someone had to take over. [ He sighs, scratching the back of his head. ] I was the 'number two' of the team, right behind him. So naturally, I had to be the next leader. But, y'know. 'course not all the members would just agree. Everyday, I'd hear people talkin' 'bout how I'd lead our team astray, shit like that...
And I let that pressure to win over me.
[ The calmness in his own voice surprises even himself, but coming to terms with what happened has helped with that, very much so. ]
I challenged him to a race on his retirement night, thinking that if I could beat him, I'd win the members' acknowledgement.
[ Mondo almost smiles as he continues, even though sadness fill his thistle irises. ] He was too powerful, both in speed and skills. He was just, way out of my league. I should've known that, but still, I got desperate, and I... crossed over to the opposite traffic lane, thinking I could overtake him. [ And that always goes well, doesn't it. Ha ha. ] Well, what can I say... those lane dividers were there for a reason. [ He tries to joke, but it probably doesn't come out the way he wanted it to ー there's no amusement in his voice. ]
A vehicle sped towards me then, and, everything just happened in a snap. [ The flash of light, the dull pain, the deafening crashing sounds. ] When I realised what was going on, I was at the other side of the road, and he... lied in the middle of the street, bleeding.
[ Even now, the image of it is fresh in his mind. ]
He didn't blame me for it, he even apologised, saying he fucked up. [ An airless laugh escapes him here. ] Can you believe that? All he asked from me was to keep the team together, the team... we've built together, he said. [ There's a limit to how much someone could be so generous, goddammit. ]
It was all 'cuz of my weakness. If I had just fought the pressure, he wouldn't have to die like that. I didn't even tell the team what happened... I let them believe that he offed himself 'cuz he was losin' to me. I was scared the team would fall apart, even if it was my job to keep them together, no matter what.
[ Now with this, Mondo's sure Jon will see him a different light. Disillusioned, maybe. ]
...Yeah. That was my first murder.
[ And that was just the beginning. ]